- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
Sole Custody / Parental Rights Question
I will try to keep this brief... but I appreciate ANY input / advice.
DD's dad lives in NV, she and I live in AZ. He is semi-involved in her life - he has seen her 4 times and shes 2 months old. He is not paying child support. We have filed for a paternity test with the Department of Child Support Enforcement, and once we get the results (although we filed 6 weeks ago and haven't heard anything to schedule the testing), I assume that we will begin going through the process and EVENTUALLY I will be granted CS, but I know it will be a while.
He has agreed to give me sole custody IF I add his name to the birth certificate when we get the paternity results (assuming they are positive - which they will be). My first question is - what is your advice here, do I add him? If I don't add him, do I already have Sole Custody because we were never married and hes not on the BC? If he is proven to be the father but still NOT on the certificate, does he have any parental rights?
Furthermore, I do not really want to go through a long court process where I have to present evidence as to why he is an unfit father (although I could easily do so). Since he has agreed to give me sole custody, is there an easier way to do this?? Like sign an agreement and then submit to the courts? TIA
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sole Custody / Parental Rights Question
Hi,
I am going through the same thing. I just went to court because the father of my DS filed against himself to pay child support but wants a DNA test first. DNA testing takes about 2 months to get the results back (not sure why). If you 2 can come to an agreement most judges will say that is fine by them and sign the agreement. It is expensive to change a birth certificate, but if you are willing to have him be a part of your DD life then and you think things will be ok I don't see were it will hurt.
You should have sole custody for the fact you are mom, have been supporting her from day1 and you were not married. Him being on the BC or not doesn't matter.
My ultimate advice is to at least talk to a lawyer. They will know exactly what your state and district laws are. They will be able to help you out the most and they may be able to do like my lawyer did and draw up a paper that he and you can both sign if you agree, and then you can send it to a judge.
Good luck and best wishes and I hope this helps.
This. Unmarried parents are a whole different ball game. Most judges will look at a father not paying child support, not really involved and not living with you and say, "That was a joke, right?" They will order visitation, though.
This is my scenario. Im filing for sole custody with visitation.
in my state nobody has custody without a court order. So as long as the baby is in your possession, you have custody. If dad is added to the birth certificate & there is no court order, when he has baby, he has custody. So if he's not on the birth certificate than technically you do have sole custody because you're the only parent of record.
We got our paternity test results in the mail the other day (only took 2 weeks, but we did it through the court, not the child support office) & I asked a lawyer @ the legal aid center if this gave him any rights (meaning, if he decided to take her for a visit, and not bring her back would he be within his rights since he has a paper saying he's the dad. Long story short, she said it'd depend on which police officer responded to your call on whether they'd try to force dad to give baby back. but essentially she tried to say that paternity test did give dad equal rights, i don't know the validity of that though, so take it with a grain of salt)
Going to court doesn't always have to be a long, tedious & bitter process. Someone can initiate the custody case (the consensus on this board though is let him do it) & the two of you can meet with a mediator to come up with a parenting plan and that can be turned into an enforceable court order WITHOUT having to go before a judge and plead your case. Where I live, this is what they actually encourage folks to do because face it, no stranger should be able to tell two parents when/how they can see their child. As parents, it "should" be something that can be worked out.
My ex has offered somewhat of the same "deal". He said if I agree to hypenhate her last name, he'll drop his pursuit of joint custody (which was just his way to pay less child support) & agree to sole physical with visitation (we've had a few arguments since then so I don't know if he's still going to stick to that but we'll see)
Essentially, no stranger on an internet forum can tell you if it'd be in you & your LO's interest to add him to the birth certificate. that's something you need to think about yourself. and also find the laws for your state to see what they say in regards to unmarried parents & rights.
I don't know AZ state laws, but my ex and I live in diff states. He is not on the birth cert. and we were never married. That AUTOMATICALLY gives me sole custody. Once paternity was established for child support and child support was court ordered, it did absolutely nothing to change the custody status. I still have 100% sole custody.
If my ex had wanted any visitation or custody rights, he would of had to obtain a lawyer in my state and file/attend court dates in my state. I knew there was no chance of that. He's too cheap.
Find a family law lawyer that specializes in child custody and do a consult to find out your rights. Some will even do this for free.
Once you find out your state laws, then you'll have a better idea about what you can/should do.
GL with everything!
What state are you in???