Feeling a little sad... not chosen! — The Bump

Feeling a little sad... not chosen!

I knew that we were being presented to a birth mom and few weeks ago, and in my heart, I "just knew" it was not our baby and I was ok with that..... that is, until I embarked on my weekly stalking of the facilitator's website and saw another family was matched.  I am happy for that family (they too have no children and live near us), but sad for us.  Now the unavoidable questions are running through my head and I cannot stop thinking/wondering what made the BM choose that couple.

I know that this too shall pass.... one day.  I just needed to get that off of my chest.  Thanks for listening!  Maybe now I can get back to work without being as distracted,


Re: Feeling a little sad... not chosen!

  • So sorry you are having a hard time...:-(  We've been thru that a couple of times, and I definitely think that it is easier when you don't know that you are being shown. I also "stalk" our agency website, and while I am happy each time that I see a family is matched, i can't help but wonder why it wasn't us. Be kind and gentle on yourself :-)
    Unable to conceive due to emergency hysterectomy 11/04 Started our adoption journey 4/11 9/29/11- Officially waiting! 5/29/12- Our little boy is born and goes home with us the next day :-)
  • Yeah, we were shown 3 times the first month we were active, and weren't chosen. It felt weird to know that someone said "no" to us.
  • Thanks Ladies....

    I know that this happens.  And to be honest, we are in the middle of a major basement renovation and the thought of being matched probably would have put us over the edge!  LOL.....

    I am in better spirits.  The first time you are faced with the reality of not being chosen stings.... A LOT!

    Off to choose paint colors for the basement walls.  And write IEPs for work.

  • I am so sorry!  Right before we were matched we were shown to a BM and I too just knew it was not our baby...still didn't make the "rejection" any easier.  ((HUGS))
    Brenda & Phillip married 10/10/09 

    After 6 years of failed cycles, we were blessed with our little man through adoption. 
    B born 1/3/2012. Adoption finalized 12/27/12

    Back  on the IF crazy train...
    Sept 2013 - IVF #1 -  BFP, EDD 6/4/14, born 6/8/14
    Everyone welcome


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I remember that feeling... knowing it wasn't for you but also being greatly disappointed to learn that you weren't chosen. 

    I know you don't want to hear this now... but try and believe that it will all make sense when you do meet your baby.  The right baby will make it to you and you'll wonder how you could have ever earned for anyone other than the child that is yours.

    Hugs to you.

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • Ugh, the rejections.  So tough.  It felt worse than dating, lol.

    I'm sorry.  I think it's very normal to feel sad, but you seem to have a really good outlook.  I hope your baby finds you soon. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am so sorry! HUGS!!! I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Waiting to for a match and to eventually find your child is excruciating.  Every bit of it, all the hopes, anxieties, and all the wasted worries and sleep.  Hang in there, because it will come to a glorious end!

  • Hugs and hang in there.  Look at it this way, you are one step closer to YOUR baby.  S/he is coming . . . have faith. 

    As for writing IEP's . . . ah, have fun.  I was a special ed teacher until this year.  There's not a fiber of my being that misses writing IEP's, lol.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker<Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker>
  • Thanks! You guys are so supportive and wise. I am so happy to be a part of this group!
  • I don't know if you are a person of faith. But, I deeply believe that if you pray over your situation that when you are selected it WILL match your heart's desire. 
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