Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

How do I handle this?

PoundCakePoundCake member
in Single Parents

Long story short,

STBXH and I separated in 4/10.  It was not good.  He is an addict.  I filed for custody in 3/11.  I got sole physical custody and  sole legal custody.  He got supervised visits. The county has no one to supervise so it was me who had to do it.  The last visit he had was 6/11. 

After that he just went crazy.  I got threats of hurting me, killing me, etc.  He said he didn't want to see the kids because his hate for me was more than his love for them.  I filed a 24 hour PFA in 8/11.  He calmed down, and there was no contact.

Then he started again with random threats, mental abuse, etc. I just let it go since he is bipolar and I wanted to ignore it.

Now at Christmas time he changed his tune and wants to see the kids.  My kids are almost 5 and 3.  Both girls.  My  5 yo has a hard time with her dad being gone and the last time he saw them and left, she took it hard when she didn't see him after that.

Plus, I'm simply afraid.  He hasn't said anything about the threats except he's changed.  Nothing else.  But I'm afraid.

I want him to be a dad, but I'm afraid of my kids getting upset again if he stops the visits, I'm afraid of his threats (especially with the news lately), I don't know how to handle this.  And I tried the county and there is no court appointed person to be able to supervise.  Yet I hate them not seeing him if he really does want to be a father.  But how do I know for sure?

My kids are my life.  I need advise. :(

Diagnosed with PCOS June 2004 Abby born 2/2007 and Ally 3/2009 imagehttp://Life In Sublurbia.blogspot.com
Report Reply to Post

Re: How do I handle this?

  • kiley&mattkiley&matt
    I agree with PP.  Tell him he can see them as soon as he gets someone to supervise the visit.  The thing is, since he has threatened your life in the past, you should NOT have to be in that situation, and you should DEFINITELY not be alone with him.  That is way too risky.  Does he have any family members that you trust that could step in and supervise?  I understand that you want him to be a dad and that you want your children to have a father who is present in their lives, but a man who is threatening your life is probably not a good person to have in theirs.  Good luck, and please keep us posted!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image Check out my blog ThreeHundredPages.com Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • PoundCakePoundCake member
    His family is across the country. He has none here. And his family have nothing to do with the kids anymore. When we split, they stopped all communication. I tried. I send pics of the kids at Christmas and my oldest draws a picture but there's no response.
    Diagnosed with PCOS June 2004 Abby born 2/2007 and Ally 3/2009 imagehttp://Life In Sublurbia.blogspot.com
    Report Reply
  • DaringMissDaringMiss member

    If the county can't provide you with a supervisor, is there a privacy agency that can provide you with one?  Even from another county?

     

    I would not think that you were out of line to insist on a supervised visit.  Your ex's past behavior is worrying. 

    Report Reply
  • JoCoGirl911JoCoGirl911
    Coming from someone who grew up without their f*cked up Dad-I think I would rather have my kids not see their Dad ever if I was worried for their and my safety. I know it sounds terrible but I promise you I grew up pretty awesome all on my own considering ym Mom is batsh*t crazy as well!
    *Can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl!*
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"