I am so mortified.

QueenofAnything · February 2012

My mother sent me an invitation to my baby shower. Included in the invitation was a separate card that says:

From Peter Rabbit to Mother Goose

Goodnight Moon and Dr. Seuss

Curious George and Winnie the Pooh

Eloise and Babar, too

In lieu of a Card, please bring

your favorite childhood classic.

Let's build a library for Reagan Elizabeth

that will be fantastic.

Does anyone know of a good rock I can hide under? I can't believe it's going to be THAT shower. It won't do any good to call her and ask her what the he!! she was thinking, right? All the guests know this wasn't my doing, right?

*starts hyperventilating*

blush64 · February 2012

Honestly, if it were my mother I would consider asking her what she was thinking and letting her know she can let the guests who RSVP know that a book is not required and it was a mistake to have included the card.

I guess most people would let it go but if someone had a shower and the invitation said that, I would assume they were in on it.

cls78 · February 2012

I actually like the idea of a book instead of a card. i went to a baby shower that did that and she got a lot of nice books. I signed the book like I would a card.

LaynieBird · February 2012

I'm sorry you feel embarrassed. For the most part the people who like this idea will participate, and those that don't like it probably won't. If the topic comes up before the party, you can always mention that you don't want anyone to feel obligated to participate unless they want to.

Adam&Eve07 · February 2012

cls78:
I actually like the idea of a book instead of a card. i went to a baby shower that did that and she got a lot of nice books. I signed the book like I would a card.

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63187547.aspx

Adam&Eve07 · February 2012

Maybe give her a call and let her know that it is considered kind of rude. But to try and take it back now would be a bad idea IMO. Let it be and try to enjoy your shower.

chloebeth930 · February 2012

The book thing wouldn't embarrass me as much as that poem would. Good thing I'm so Type A and have to approve the invites before they go out, I could see my mother doing something like this too Indifferent

rhubarb123 · February 2012

It is too bad she did that but what is done is done. Probably some friend of her's told her about the idea. I would most likely figure the MTB knew about it...unless I knew the MTB really well. Don't worry about it at tihs point.

Keep in mind though that some of those books mentioned are not inexpensive and most people (me included) will reduce the amount spent on the shower gift by the amount of the book. I'm sure you mom never even considered that.

ktpaladino · February 2012

I recently went to a shower that asked for a book in lieu of a card. At first I wanted to get Pat the Bunny, Goodnight Moon, Madeline, The Runaway Bunny, one of the classics. These books were about $7-$9 which I was OK with spending a few extra dollars than a $4 card, but then I got worried that these would be the books that everyone else buys too and I didn't want her to get any duplicates. To make a long story short I ended up walking out of the bookstore with a $20 hardback book after agonizing over getting something original. And this was on top of spending $70 on her actual gift. I don't think that people realize they are basically asking for two presents. Like the pp said, if I had gotten the book first, I would have spent less on the gift. If there is a way to spread by word of mouth that the book thing is optional, I think that would help the situation out a lot.

lizabean519 · February 2012

I love this idea, although that poem is a bit silly, I would just laugh. I'm sure the guests will get a good giggle!

The hostess for my shower did something similar but wrote:

Just one last request, and we hope it's not hard

Please bring baby a book in place of a card

By signing your book we'll remember and share

Your special gift, even when you're not there

Some friends who were attending the shower went out of their way to tell SO and I how they loved the idea - and even showed up with 3+ books! We got about 40 amazing books signed by friends and family and the only duplicate was The Cat and the Hat -- and those extra copies are going to Grandma's and Nana's house.

eav2c · February 2012

What's done is done. Not much you can do now. I like the idea of the books in lieu of a card but I do understand why they are so trivial and agree for the most part. The right idea is there... but, the right idea doesn't make something a good idea, I guess? Nevertheless, invites are out so not much can be done. If you think it would hurt your moms feelings to say something... just keep it to yourself, IMO. I'm sure she meant well. In the long line of "baby shower no-no's" I would say this isn't a huge deal on my long list of 'ew'. The only real suggestion I have (which I saw done) was each guest wrote their letter to baby on an index card and inserted it into the book. After the fact, if there were duplicates they were replaced for others that the mom didn't get. Once they had a variety of books/no duplicates, they pasted in each card. Not sure how you'd go about asking guests to do that (and it'd likely be tacky to say, 'hey do this.') Don't stress about it too much

cls78 · February 2012

Adam&Eve07:
cls78:
I actually like the idea of a book instead of a card. i went to a baby shower that did that and she got a lot of nice books. I signed the book like I would a card.
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63187547.aspx

I still don't think it is a big deal. I guess because I didn't feel that I had to buy a expensive book. I bought something about the same price as a card.

I thought it was more rude at another baby shower I went to asking to bring a pack of diapers for the diaper drop. (which I did not do.)

ccam · February 2012

I think going back and telling everyone not to bring a book or that the poem was a mistake would make it even more embarassing. It is what it is at this point. I'm sure your mom only had good intentions and correcting her now might offend her, or at least it would hurt my mom's feelings! Guests who don't like the book idea just won't buy you one.

RoxyLynn · February 2012

Your mother meant well, I'm sure. She's just caught up in New Grandma-ness. It's unfortunate she didn't consult you first, but what's done is done.

I agree that telling people not to bring a book is a bad idea for a number of reasons. The only thing I can think for you to do is to graciously thank your mother at the shower for having this surprise book-fest for you.

Liz4444 · February 2012

Unfortunately, what's done is done. Hopefully your friends know you well enough to know i wasn't your doing.

ShanJosh777 · February 2012

I've been invited to a few showers that requested a book instead of a card, and honestly I never gave it a second thought until I started reading about it on TB.

Obviously only you know your circle/family, but this would not even phase anyone here. Maybe we are just tacky like that, haha.

VanessaB24 · February 2012

I apparently am the dumbest person ever.... Until i read a couple of post that doing this rude... i didnt think it was when i was invited to my DH's friend wife's baby shower 2yrs ago. In the invite it also said something like this and i was embaressed that i had not purchased a book that i made my friends stop at a book store to pick one up before we headed to the restaurant. I've never been to a shower and i am the youngest in the group of friends so this is my excuse for being an idiot lol I didn't know what baby shower etiquette was... And i was haggled into buying a book... dat b*tch! Well there is a 2nd baby shower i'll be going to in March i will be paying attention to that one. lol

pam1005 · February 2012

ShanJosh777:
I've been invited to a few showers that requested a book instead of a card, and honestly I never gave it a second thought until I started reading about it on TB.
Obviously only you know your circle/family, but this would not even phase anyone here. Maybe we are just tacky like that, haha.

Same here. No one thinks twice about it here, but I would never do it and requested that it not be done for my shower. Like pp's said, those who want to participate will and those who don't like it will not do it. I would just thank your mom for a wonderful shower when it is all said and done.

shootingstars00 · February 2012

Yikes. Her intentions are good though so I wouldn't make her feel bad since it can't be undone.

QueenofAnything · February 2012

Haha, that was my immediate freak out reaction. I'm mostly over it now. Que sera, sera. All of my friends know I had nothing to do with this (one even told me she was getting "Go the F*ck to Sleep"). I'm not saying anything to my mother either. I'm really grateful for the shower and she means well, mostly.

NJbaby2012 · February 2012

You can tell your close friends you're mom's a goob - do you really care about the rest?

varkeyr · February 2012

Call the people and let them know a book is not required.

Adam&Eve07 · February 2012

cls78:
Adam&Eve07:
cls78:
I actually like the idea of a book instead of a card. i went to a baby shower that did that and she got a lot of nice books. I signed the book like I would a card.
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63187547.aspx
I still don't think it is a big deal. I guess because I didn't feel that I had to buy a expensive book. I bought something about the same price as a card.
I thought it was more rude at another baby shower I went to asking to bring a pack of diapers for the diaper drop. (which I did not do.)

So because a pack of diapers is more expensive than a cheap book you won't do it? Being told to bring something in addition to the shower gift is the same no matter what that item is IMO. But to each their own.

Liz4444 · February 2012

Adam&Eve07:
cls78:
Adam&Eve07:

cls78:
I actually like the idea of a book instead of a card. i went to a baby shower that did that and she got a lot of nice books. I signed the book like I would a card.

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63187547.aspx

I still don't think it is a big deal. I guess because I didn't feel that I had to buy a expensive book. I bought something about the same price as a card.

I thought it was more rude at another baby shower I went to asking to bring a pack of diapers for the diaper drop. (which I did not do.)

So because a pack of diapers is more expensive than a cheap book you won't do it? Being told to bring something in addition to the shower gift is the same no matter what that item is IMO. But to each their own.

What my lovely AE said. It has nothing to do with the price...

bride2005!! · February 2012

I see your point but LOTS of people in my area do this...I was even given a list of things to buy for a bachlorette party once. I've been to a "build a library" shower and it was fine. The books themselves are super cheap. Maybe a dollar more than a card and way more useful. I totally get the "embarrassment" factor but it's not as uncommon as you may think. Try to enjoy it!

kellyalvey · February 2012

This is pretty common for a lot of baby showers to do something like this and I have always loved it when I attended showers that included the build a library. I think people participate if they want and these people invited are hopefully close friends and family and would not really think anything of it.

iluvmylab · February 2012

varkeyr:
Call the people and let them know a book is not required.

I would not do this. Most likely, the majority of your guests will not care. Those that want to buy a book will and those who don't, won't. It doesn't say a book is REQUIRED and most will not take it that way. Calling people up just draws more attention to it.

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa · February 2012

Not a big deal. I really hope you don't offend your mom, she was just trying to be nice and do something special. She will get really hurt if you say anything. Please dont!

BabySeaTurtles · February 2012

I've been to a shower where books were requested instead of cards and the MTB was so happy to see all of the books, that the extra price was completely forgotten. I hope you enjoys the books that will result from this and have a good story to tell people afterwards. I personally think the idea is very cute, but I also understand how you might be embarrassed and little frustrated about not being consulted first. My advise is to let this one go as nothing can be done about without looking tacky. But maybe give a hint to your mom about major decisions being run by you first for the rest of the shower plans.

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