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December 2011 Moms
Smgrochowski
member
Pros and cons to 3 kids?
Smgrochowski
member
Re-post from 2 under 2, but I thought maybe there might be some good insights here.
My sister and her husband have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. They are thinking of having a third, but go back and forth.
What do you think are the pros and cons of going for the third child? Any ladies want to share why you chose to have (or plan to have) 3 or more, or why you're done at two?
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pros and cons to 3 kids?
DH and I thought about this a lot. You could go back and forth and all around with pros/cons (for more or less children).
Bottom line- TTC #3 if you have 2 and feel your family just isn't complete, you have the time and financial wherewithal to make 3 work, and you are blessed enough to become pg. The rest works itself out.
For us, we always agreed on and hoped for two healthy LOs. Pretty much immediately after having #2 I knew someone was still missing (DH took a little more time to feel that way) and we pictured Christmas years from now and we knew we wanted to try for another child. Our family is complete now and I only have to look at DS3's face for any cons we could think up to fade into insignificance.
We're happy with our two healthy children.
2 = man-to-man defense. 3+ = zone defense.
Well, we're only 2 months into having three kids. It's been an adjustment. I'm not sure if it's because we have three kids or if it's because it's been several years since we've done the baby thing (maybe a little of both?).
Emotionally I wasn't done after two, though logically I could understand why we should be. Kids are expensive. Tiring. The idea of going from man-to-man to zone defense was intimidating. But, it happened.
And it's not so bad since the older two are pretty self sufficient. And I love our big family dynamic. I figure the money/time/energy will work themselves out somehow...?
Just a few thoughts from someone who's already there.
This.
My best friend has three children. She says it is hard because there is always someone left out, which increases the fighting. I think she wishes she would have had a fourth baby or stuck with two. (Of course, she can't imagine her life without her third, but she talks honestly about how things might have been easier if she'd had another or stuck with two.)
I will be sticking with two. I am already 35 and have had three losses and two difficult pregnancies. I just don't think I could go through it again. We could afford another, but I don't know if I could do the things I'd like to do for my family if we had more children. And like PP said, I don't want to be outnumbered!
We are on our first, but I come from a family of 3 kids.
On the pro side it was great having an older brother and a younger sister, there was always someone to play with (even though we were spaced 6 years apart). It was nice having a brother and a sister too, got to experience what that was like. I love my siblings and wouldnt trade them for anything.
On the con side: There was always someone left out (usually my brother because he was the only boy) I felt like I didn't get as much attention once my sister came around (parents had less time to spend with each of us separately). The youngest tends to get by/away with more (especially when you are spaced far apart).
All that being said, my hubby and I plan on having as many kids as feels right. If after our second we feel that our family is complete then we will stop. If not then we will try again.
I've went back & forth on if I want 2 or 3. But the thing that makes me stay 2 and done.... is money, and I don't want 3 car seats in one damn vehicle!
This exactly for me (AND your previous statements). 1-2 was harder for me than 2-3, honestly. Studies have actually shown that costs are doubled going from one kid to two but they decrease with children after the second. I honestly find myself spending far less money now because I have to watch how we spend things with four kids. My kids get hand me downs but they don't want for anything...they share rooms (two per room) but they enjoy it...We make it work.
I agree with PP about 3 kids creating more fighting but I think, in my case, it is because I have 3 girls fairly close in age... sometimes one is odd man out and often the youngest is the sh*t stirrer BUT, it teaches them to get along, to share, etc. While they do fight, they love each other and it is so great to see my girls have slumber parties together and love on each other. Adding the boy in will be even more fun to watch as he gets older.
We are lucky in that our kids only go to daycare two days a week because of our work schedules so we pay less for three than the average person pays for one in daycare. We have been able to pass clothes down because of our three girls and we budget well. I wouldn't trade my four for the world and actually would love a fifth.