XP: Anyone considered waiting/sending a child early for them to go to school together?

malloryjean · February 2012

My husband just brought this up, either if possible sending one child a little earlier or waiting to send the other so that they could begin kindergarten together.My son is going to be one this April, and our other is on the way this August, so they will be 16 months apart - not sure if this is really even possible with the age gap but wondering if anyone had ever considered this/or actually done it?

jandb2011 · February 2012

Any particular reason why you would want to send them to kindergarten at the same time?

In some ways 16mths, is not a lot, but in other ways, they can be developmentally very far apart.

My brother and I are only 15 mths apart, but because of birthday cut-offs, ended up two grades apart. Had my parents decided to delay me by one yr, we could have very easily been one grade apart.

When your children get close to school age, you need to let each individual child dictate how you proceed. Starting a child, when they're not ready will just create a lot of stress and issues. Similarly, delaying a child that is ready can cause boredom and discipline issues.

Even if they begin school at the same time, they will very likely be in different classrooms, with different teachers.

You really need to do your research, to figure out what is going to be best for each of your children and, IMO, I doubt it will end up being then in Kindergarten together.

Babbybaby · February 2012

Let me begin by saying I am a kindergarten teacher. My opinion on this would be to send each child when they are ready. I would not delay a child who is ready nor send my child before they are ready for school academically or socially just so my children could be in the same grade in school. You also risk having your older child be very successful while the other struggles constantly because they were not ready. I can see how watching their older sibling fly through things and understand things very easily could be extremely frustrating for the younger child who struggles and does not understand and cause them to end up really not enjoying school.

lami22005 · February 2012

My children are 13 months apart, and I could have technically done this before CA changed their cut-off date. I thought of it as a "joke," and would never consider it seriously. Heck, 6 months can be a huge difference in terms of development whether it be socially, emotionally, academically, etc., much less 16 months.

shouldbworkin · February 2012

I have a friend with two boys born 13 mos apart, the oldest in June and the youngest in May. They are in different grades, one grade apart. The oldest is super tall and would probably be unhappy if he'd been held back a year. Not to mention, he was ready for KG when he started.

jerol · February 2012

My first two are 16 months apart and I never even considered that. In fact, I have thought about holding #2 to make them 2 years apart.

MrsSR · February 2012

No, I wouldn't.

Angela814 · February 2012

I think it sounds like a horrible idea. Let them spend some time apart, make their own friends, do their own thing. There's a reason why twins are usually put in separate classes if possible.

My sister and I are 13 months apart. We were a year apart in school. Looking back, I think it would have been really hard for us to be in the same grade, both emotionally and mentally.

SueBear · February 2012

There are many twins in my school system. The school purposely tries to separate twins in separate classes, so that even if they are in the same grade, they will have different teachers, different assignments, different spelling words to learn, etc.

There is one set of twins that are always in the same class at the mother's request. One daughter is shy/insecure and wants her sister with her. The other one "wants to do her own thing," and be separate. Unfortunately, by now, the mom can't / won't ask to have them separate b/c "God forbid one child is in the classroom with all of the friends and the other one isn't."

Send each child when they are ready!

neverblushed · February 2012

You've gotten excellent replies, but as a teacher I would "ditto" that holding a child back or pushing one forward just so they'll be in the same grade is a bad idea.

I teach high school English, and I have dealt with more than one situation in which twins struggled and suffered because competition and comparison can be so difficult for them. Schools work hard to prevent siblings from being in the same classes because there are more drawbacks than positives to this situation.

Being in separate grades will allow your children to support each other while each has the chance to flourish as an individual, making his/her own friends and excelling in his/her own special way.

jlw2505 · February 2012

I personally would not do this - kids need to be independant. My sisters kids are 8 months apart (one is adopted and the other is biological) and due to when their birthdays fall, they are not in the same year at school. My sister was upset at first but now that her kids are a little older (2nd and 3rd grades) she is thrilled as they each have their own friends, their own interests and every little thing is not a compitition. My kids will be 1 year apart in school (next year they will be in kindy and PreK) and I actually would have rather had a year between them but we held my older DD back a year as she just wasn't ready for kindy this year. It will all work out but I would never hold a child back just to be in the same class with a sibling.

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