Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ctbride08
member
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
PCP: Not sure if it's a "highlight," but I'm getting my thyroid levels checked this week to see where that stands (it was still two low 6 weeks ago). After losing weight, I'm still waiting for my hormone levels to re-stabilize and my cycles to get back on track. I hope it happens soon because if it doesn't we may not ttc until 2013.
QOTD: I'm great with newborns, always have been and have lots of professional experience. I also love ages 4-6. I'm the least confident about tweens/teens, but have a ways to go until I'm parenting my own at that stage, so hopefully that will change (although based on many parents of teens, that's not very likely).
ATP: Ky is a toddler...that pretty much sums it up. She started this new behavior that is oh so annoying but she thinks is hilarious. She bites the couch. Yeah the couch. Now my kid was a BAD biter when she first got her teeth. Now she knows she can bite when she is angry like when she wants us to let go of her hand. She does not bit other kids....yet...thankfully. But my couch? Really? and she is not even angry, she LAUGHS! All my usual things to stop the biting 6 months ago are not working. sigh
TTC: No smiley for me. DW started testing even though we overlap by a week. She should be getting hers by the end of the week and more than likely we will inseminate since I did not this month.
QOTD: I really do not have a favorite age. toddler is probably my least but with one or two at a time even they are okay.
Impatiently 2ww-ing. I'm analyzing every little thing thinking it could be a sign, and then frantically trying to manage my expectations in case it doesn't work out. There haven't really been any exciting high points, which I think tells me I need to work on adding some more non-baby excitement into my life.
QOTD: I pretty much love (and think I'm best with) babies through early preschool years. My favorite baby age is about 9-12 months where they're exploring walking but still very dependent on their caregivers for a lot of mobility, and favorite preschool is late 2 - 4ish after speech is really blooming.
In the last few years my job has brought me close to several teenagers though, and I've developed more of a fondness for them than I expected. They lack the cuteness and silliness that I love about younger children, but they have complex thoughts about interesting adult topics and they crave attention and nurturing just as much as any other child.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Highlight: This isn't parenting related, but falling in love with my city all over again. It isn't very often that I get to feel proud of Indiana.
Lowlight: I didn't O this month, again. The foster/adopt info meeting we went to on Saturday (that we both rearranged our schedules for)... nobody ever came. I was so disappointed.
AOTD: I used to think preschoolers, but after student teaching I realized that I adore older kids, too. (You can talk to them like real people! They get jokes!) K is awesome with babies. So we're covered until about age 13. I love teens at a distance (so much angsty passion and energy). It's the day-to-day I worry about. I'm hoping we'll be up to the task!
Parenting highlight of the week was sitting in a meeting with what felt like half of the kids' school only to tell us that their behavior is normal (not acceptable at school, but normal) and they are making great strides in Kindergarten. Though I have to admit, that sometimes I just do not feel old enough to be sitting in the principals office as the parent and not the student (and yes, I am plenty old enough. LOL.) Bedtime has become a challenge recently. Since they share a room, they sit in there and chat and laugh and (sometimes) wrestle. I still am not sure what we are going to do with the room situation.
QOTD: I am really comfortable with newborns/young babies. What I am not good with is lack of sleep. Unfortunately, they go hand in hand. I am loving this age (5) of somewhat self sufficiency, but they are also cuddly and ADORE their moms. I am not a teen fan. We'll see how I am with my own.
Plus, I think it is going to be difficult seeing them go out and try on independence, knowing that part of that process is failing and trying again.
Dreading Jen leaving on Monday. When we made this plan early in the pregnancy, it didn't seem like a big deal to be apart for 2.5 weeks - yeah, annoying and kind of sad, but not a big deal. Now it feels like a huge deal. Normally it would be fine and we've done it before, but now I need to hang out with my belly everyday and see it grow and feel the kicks! And just know that she's OK because she's right there. Boo. There will be a lot of phone calls
QOTD: I'm not sure that I'm good with any age of kid.
I love babies, and I'm pretty comfortable with 3-4 year olds - I know how to play with them and like talking to them. But I don't know how they feel about me 
PCP: We had a good talk last night, and K heard me on why I want to consider having another child. It's nice to feel heard.
By the way, CT, the letter is a great idea. I'm working on it. Thanks! 
ATP: I really miss J when I'm at work... I always have, but now it's... different. Maybe because he interacts more now? (Like inviting me to dance yesterday... Melt my heart, kid!) I wish I had more time with him.
QOTD: I loved the squishy baby days... I'm loving the toddler, super interactive days... With my godchildren, I loved it when they were 4 - somewhat independent, but not too independent. I've always been good with teenagers (I specifically asked for hard teen groups at the school where I taught because I knew I could make it work), but I'm not sure how I'll deal with my own 24/7 teen, if you know what I mean.
Thinking of you. 2WWs are hard. Fingers crossed.
Iz - Her behavior has been good overall, a few lies here and there, plenty of not listening but I can't complain too much. I put in a request for the ADD assessment I've been lagging on getting, the referral is being submitted today and we will hopefully have a nurse out here within the next 2 weeks.
A - She has been disrespectful lately, talking to me like she would her friends, not as she should to a parent. She's gotten really into playing with the little girls and is helping Owl to open up.
Owl - I put a tutu on her last night and she started playing!!!! She was picking up toy cars and throwing them and taking Apple's clothes out and strewing them across the house, not fun for me to clean up but SHE.WAS.DOING.SOMETHING! Of course as soon as J got home she reverted back to her old self (she doesn't like people to watch her) and got whiney.
Apple - I am working on getting her to sleep in the pack n play instead of our bed (our bed = against foster rules but the only place she would sleep). She did really well last night, waking up twice for a bottle/to be comforted and she actually ate less (4oz less) than normal.
PCP - Our agency called to get our adoption preferences to submit to LA County, a county that is notoriously hard to adopt from unless you live there, I guess they have so many kids in their system that they need to open up more to matching in other counties. I let the agency know (again) that we want to adopt Owl and Apple and aren't ready to be matched while they are in our care but if they go home we would be open for a match.
QOTD - I loved 3-4 with A, it was such a magical time.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
PCP: I went to C's benefits orientation on Monday with her. Her organization doesn't have maternity leave, just generous sick time that can be taken as FMLA leave. That means the earliest we will start TTC is May. We also found out we can be on the PPO plan (they previously told us only the HMO was available to same-sex couples), which is good for TTC.
Really, we need to wait until I get a job and see what my available leave will be like too. If I can only use FMLA (which is likely), we'll need to wait a bit longer to start TTC.
TTC: C's first cycle of temping is done, with a 10 day luteal phase. A little on the short side, but we'll see what happens next cycle. KD had his checkup and scheduled his tests for next week.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
highlight: my baby is awesome.
lowlight: I am 99% sure this cycle did not work.
QOTD: I have no idea what age I'm best with. maybe toddler to pre-k? I'm not sure.
BAPP (becoming a parent planning)-
Highlight...all the great adoption conversations we have had lately. Spoke to an agency this week and we are going to start working with them this summer. We would really like a baby first and we know the wait for this can be longggggggg so we figure if we start working on it now the timing should be good school wise.
Lowlight...my primary care doctor gave me a fit about wanting to have fertility baseline testing done because TTC is not completely off the table for us. He went on for like 20 minutes about how women who have had gastic bypass should not have children blah blah blah. This is contrary to what my surgeon (from Johns Hopkins for cripes sake), GYN, nutritionist, and RE have said. I am aware of the increased nutrition difficulties but I have done so well nutritionally that I was given the go ahead by 4 other doctors. Ohhh he ticked me off.
QOTD: I really just love children in general. I have had the opportunity to work with kids from birth through early adulthood and really do not have a favorite time period.
Thanks! I can use all the finger crossing I can get.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
We've all had a good week despite the craziness surrounding us. Sprout took his final visit with mom very well (I'll post a full recap on my blog eventually) and the girls seem to be getting over their illnesses. I'm very proud of the troopers they all are.
My highlight and lowlight are the same: Sprout got his haircut. And i mean allllll cut - buzzed off. He LOVES it and is so excited for everyone to see it. And it really does look very handsome on him. But every time I see him it surprises and startles me. He looks so grown up! There is absolutely no trace of baby left in my baby boy
Last night I said to him "my goodness you look like such a big boy. I'm going to have to stop calling you my baby." he shook his head and said, "no mommy! you can always call me your baby. thats because i'm your son." awwww 
QOTD: I'm not really sure...I like squishy babies and I'm pretty good with them, but i wouldn't call myself a baby whisperer or anything. I'll be honest and say that I dont love early toddlerhood...months 12-20ish are not my fave. 2 is a lot of fun with language and personality development. 3 is rough. 4+ is good
Whenever I talk to people with kids that are 7,8,9 I always look at them whistfully and think "wow, those ages sound awesome." I dont want to rush early childhood, but I'm really looking forward to all the travel we will be able to do with the kids when we dont have to factor in diapers, strollers, and naps! TBD on the tween/teen years though i have little patience for drama so that might not go well 
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Accidentally posted with my wife signed on...oops! Sorry C!
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Highlight: E's been asking me if my friends from my old work site will be here at my new work site. I told her no, I'll have to make new friends. Yesterday morning (my first full day here) she made a point of telling me that she hoped I would make new friends and that when I picked her up she would want to know their names. Sure enough, when I got to school and she ran to me for a hug and kiss, the first thing she asked was if I made any new friends yesterday. My sweet little girl is concerned about her mommy having friends!!!
QOTD: I am absolutely loving 5. I really enjoyed 3-4 too, but 5 is just AWESOME. I love her semi-independence and her constant questions about the world and understanding the meaning of words and learning to read and write. I am a bit scared of how things will go when we hit the teenage years but I am hoping to establish a really open and comfortable relationship with E before we get there in hopes that it will make things go better.
QOTD: I love the love that babies and toddlers give, but must admit I am probably best with ages 5 to 15. I love school, activities, going to games...I think that that is when my love and pride really shine (even though it has been there all the time).
This is my first TCC month and i feel like a ball of emotions.
QOTD
I'm the oldest of 7, the little one is 6yrs and the one after me is 23yrs. so i like to think i'm good with all ages. But who doesn't love babies
cant wait for our little girl to arrive.
New: I feel like my bump is huge, and I proudly strut around the living rooms showing it off. And every evening EV will speak into the "Biskiephone" and say "Hellloooooo Biskiebean!!!" Well that's not new - but alteast I have a bump and not only a bloat/bump
Highlight: hasn't happened yet but we're going to Guerneville, CA to an LGBTQ valentines days dance/show to celebrate EV's birthday with friends and I rented a hotel room/cabin for us to stay the night (with the dogs). If I can scrape the funds together for a massage then this will be the highlight of next week too..
Lowlight: Ummmm trying to be a good little student despite the fact that I'm having a hard time prioritizing.
QOTD: Little babies scare me, so I'm nervous about having a newborn (I forced myself to hold my friends baby when she was a week old, as practice
). I love kids though, and worked for years as a camp councelor with 5 -7 year olds when I was a teenager - what a fun age range. 
TTC: Just waiting to ovulate. First b/w ultrasound appointment is Monday morning.
QOTD: I'm actually child-phobic. That probably sounds weird coming from someone who is actively TTC, but I've just never spent a lot of time around kids -- no little siblings or cousins nearby, no nieces and nephews until I got married (and they all live out of state), limited babysitting. I do fine once I spend enough time with a kid to form some kind of relationship -- I got along famously with my 2yo niece when we vacationed together this summer -- but random kids weird me out a bit. It's getting easier as my friends have kids and I get to know them. Still terrified of causing mortal harm to infants. Individual teenagers can be cool -- I taught high school and was driven mad by my students but loved working with my GSA kids. In between toddlers and high school, I don't have much knowledge or experience.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*