Doctor Vent!!! (sort of long)

jllybllyb · February 2012

So my husband and I moved right before we found out I was pregnant so I needed to find a new doctor, because I wasn't driving 2+ hours to go to my old one. So after doing a bunch of research (yeah I'm that girl) I found one that I thought might work and made an appointment. I thought she was very nice and I thought it might work out so I made my follow up appointment. Now I'm not so sure...

The first appointment was great and was almost an hour long with her answering all my questions and talking about everything. I've had two appointments with her after that and at the end all she says is "okay see you in four weeks" before I can even ask her questions or anything she is out of the room like her a** is on fire. Her nurse usually comes in but she gives vague answers, to the point that I'm usually more confused than when I first asked it. The nurse has recommended some great books to reference. I'm sorry WTF do I pay for a doctor for if I'm just supposed to look it up in a book myself?

Now the thing that sent me over the edge was we have an appointment next Thursday and the nurse called because they had to move my appointment time up. I told her that was fine and I'd let my husband know so he could be there for the ultra sound, which was met by dead silence then "What ultra sound?" I told her that I thought we were going to find out the sex of the baby at the appointment because I was going to be 19 weeks. Apparently I was wrong and felt like an idiot, and sort of lost it on the nurse about how I felt like I had no idea what was going on and I felt completely uninformed especially as a FTM. She apologized and said she would convey my concern to the doctor. Well I'm so frustrated that I don't even want to go back to her and will gladly drive the 2+ hours to go to a doctor that will actually f-ing care and explain things to me and for god's sake tell me if I'm having a girl or a boy because I wanna know!!!

Thanks I just had to get that out there

Beth1031 · February 2012

I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. I was new-ish to the area I live in and had to find an OB when I found out I was pg. The first Dr. I made an appointment with kept pushing the initial appointment (even to confirm the pregnancy) back until the last time I was going to be something like 14 weeks before he would see me so I switched to another practice and was so glad I did! I LOVE the OB I am with now she takes time to answer all my questions and her staff and nurses are great too. If you are uncomfortable now, it will probably only get worse. I think it's really important to feel confident in your OB. Sorry you are having to deal with this, as a FTM I feel like I ask a ton of questions and it must be so frustrating to feel like they aren't giving you the time and info you are needing. GL! Maybe you could ask some of the ladies on here if they are in your area and can recommend an OB they like and trust?

morethancottoncandy · February 2012

I'm sorry but I think you are overreacting. The nurse is right, there are great books out there and if you have that many questions, you should be reading up on your pregnancy. What to Expect is a great book but I personally prefer Your Pregnancy Week by Week. Also, doctors don't perform ultrasounds just to find out the sex of the baby. An anatomy scan is usually done at around 18-20 weeks to make sure your baby is healthy and developing properly. Finding out the sex (if the baby cooperates) is just an added bonus and not always a given.

If I were you, I'd head to a book store and start reading up.

JKPLMS · February 2012

Isn't your ultrasound appointment separate from your regular monthly doctor's visit? I have to go to a separate part of the hospital for my ultrasounds and schedule them separately as well.

Is there another doctor in the practice that you could try? I had to go to a couple to find one that I was comfortable with and I'm glad that I was picky because if your not happy or comfortable with them that's not good.

jllybllyb · February 2012

That's how it was at my old doctor but in this practice the tech wheels the machine in and you have it in the room where your appointment is. The doctor was there for the other two that I've already had so I assumed that it was going to be the same thing.

I realize that its an anatomy scan being done between 18-20 weeks, but I elected to have the genetic testing done and have already had those ultra sounds and test results back (with normal results on everything) the tech told me that they just couldn't get a look to see the sex of the baby. That's why we were hoping to get another one sometime soon so we could finally find out. Perhaps I should have been more clear in my explanation.

morethancottoncandy · February 2012

Unless there are problems, those are usually the only ultrasounds most pregnant women have. It's possible that your insurance won't cover another one unless its medically necessary. You could always pay for an elective ultrasound if you are that anxious to find out the sex.

AmberMH08 · February 2012

i hated the dr and hospital with DS1 and so this time i did my research found a great dr who use best hospital around... i drive over an hr to get to them and i told my husband if i had to drive 4 i would... Having a good dr makes the difference the place I go has i think 4 drs i have seen 4 they have seperate drs and days for baby and other girl/menopause patients... ive never had to wait more than 10min and drs are all so supportive of everything and understanding... that makes world of difference i say if your not comfortable with your current dr time to go somewhere else... it will only get worse the closer u get to birth and in hospital

ErinR2012 · February 2012

1) Regarding the not having time to answer your questions, let her know as soon as she walks in at the beginning of the appointment that you have questions.

2) I'm still confused on what U/S you have already had done. Have you had your anatomy scan (this is different from the NT Scan for genetic testing usually done around 12 weeks)? If you had your A/S and they were not able to get a read on the gender, then you'll probably have to schedule an elective U/S somewhere else. Also, if you had your A/S and they weren't able to tell the sex, I'm surprised you didn't ask right then if you would be able to get another U/S to determine the sex later, rather than just assuming they would do another U/S just to determine sex.

From what you say she seems like a good doctor, and you've just been having some communication issues that can be mitigated. But of course, if you're not comfortable with the practice, you should go somewhere else.

PrayThenWait · February 2012

Something to strongly consider before choosing to go to a new OB at this point in the pregnancy is that many OB doctors bill a pregnancy, through delivery, as a single event, instead of multiple office visits, tests, etc. Changing doctors will usually result in each doctor needing to bill you and the insurance company for each visit, test, actual delivery, etc. I'd assume this would result in higher expenses overall.

Just something to consider in the equation as you make your decision of whether you move on or try to increase the communication with your current doctor.

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