Its never going to end, is it?

kerrbear72 · February 2012

I cannot take it anymore and I don't know what to do. I'm exhausted. I can't function. I'm short tempered and have no patience. I am completely failing as a mother and wife right now.

This has been our week so far:

Monday:
Bed at 7pm; up at 11pm, 1am, 5:30am, 6:30am.

Tuesday:
Bed at 7pm; up at 9pm, 12am, 3am and 8am.

Wednesday;
bed at 7pm; up at 9pm, 12am, 1am, 1:30am and 6am.

For the last week, he's been taking 2.5 hour naps in the morning and a 30 or so minute nap in the afternoon.

During the night he nurses anywhere from 3-10 minutes and he is asleep again. I know its just comfort nursing.

I've been working on putting him down awake, breaking the nurse to sleep association, introduced a lovey, decreasing nursing time at night and nothing is working.

Yesterday I let him CIO for a a nap. I knew he was tired but wouldn't sleep. He only cried for 5 minutes but it was brutal and I never, ever wanted to CIO but I'm desperate.

I don't know what to do anymore. He's almost 8 months. I haven't slept since I was 30w pregnant. I'm in tears as I write this. Oh and lets throw in separation anxiety because he won't let me out of his sight.

I'm so tired that I am not hearing the baby monitor at night anymore. That makes me feel like absolute ***. What mother doesn't hear her baby cry? I go to bed anxious because I know what my night holds for me.

NeverEnoughTime · February 2012

I have nothing constructive to add. Just a supportive hug.

Can you get away for a night? Leave him and a bottle with your SO and get yourself some sleep?

Can you talk to/hire a sleep expert? There is one local to me and its about $350. Or she offers phone in counselling sessions for $25.

{{{hug}}}

Athena0809 · February 2012

I doubt for a minute what lack of sleep can do to a person, it breaks your spirit. I've been where you are, DS has never, ever, sttn, the longest stretch was at his peak at 3 mo when he'd sleep 6 hrs, it only got worse, he was waking every 1-2 hours! My solution was to bedshare, and I know that is not the best solution, but I don't think there's a "one fits all". I did what I had to do to survive. Turns out DS sleeps better, I sleep better--most importantly, I don't feel sleep is an issue anymore, I'm not bitter, and I feel just fine during the day. Oh, and we're going through some separation anxiety but the fact that we sleep holding on to each other helps! I don't have a solution for you, sorry, but I do have sympathy and my best wishes. (((hugs)))

Beabs · February 2012

I'm so, so sorry

When he wakes at night, do you go to him right away? If you do, try giving him a few minutes before you go in by him. Maybe he'll be able to work it out on his own.

Even though it is a terrible feeling to hear your baby cry, he will be fine. I promise.

BabyBebe1 · February 2012

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

Athena0809 · February 2012

BabyBebe1:

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

If it would only take three nights we would all do it and everyone would be sttn. I'm not against CIO, I tried it, with a week and a half of not one ounce of progress. My point is, it's not that simple, and IMHO comments like these only make moms going through this feel even worse ("what am I doing wrong" sorta feeling).

Lisa Frank · February 2012

Steph&Harry08:
BabyBebe1:

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

If it would only take three nights we would all do it and everyone would be sttn. I'm not against CIO, I tried it, with a week and a half of not one ounce of progress. My point is, it's not that simple, and IMHO comments like these only make moms going through this feel even worse ("what am I doing wrong" sorta feeling).

How exactly is this unhelpful? I think hearing from a 2nd time mom about her experience is more comforting than harmful. I loved hearing these accounts when I was in the thick of it with my DS.

Kerr, big e-hug. If you have a chance, chat with Iris today. I think it's important that you do hear the stories like BabyBebe's. Because you can be anti-CIO all you want, but when you are at your wits, and it's your only option, you might just find that it saves your life

Hugs.

Lisa Frank · February 2012

Beabs:
I'm so, so sorry

When he wakes at night, do you go to him right away? If you do, try giving him a few minutes before you go in by him. Maybe he'll be able to work it out on his own.

Even though it is a terrible feeling to hear your baby cry, he will be fine. I promise.

Exactly this.

What you are doing now is not working for any of you. A few days or a week of CIO will do less harm than what you are all putting yourselves through now. Think of it that way.

Again, (hugs). I wish I could grab you through the screen!

Athena0809 · February 2012

Lisa Frank:
Steph&Harry08:
BabyBebe1:

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

If it would only take three nights we would all do it and everyone would be sttn. I'm not against CIO, I tried it, with a week and a half of not one ounce of progress. My point is, it's not that simple, and IMHO comments like these only make moms going through this feel even worse ("what am I doing wrong" sorta feeling).

How exactly is this unhelpful? I think hearing from a 2nd time mom about her experience is more comforting than harmful. I loved hearing these accounts when I was in the thick of it with my DS.

Kerr, big e-hug. If you have a chance, chat with Iris today. I think it's important that you do hear the stories like BabyBebe's. Because you can be anti-CIO all you want, but when you are at your wits, and it's your only option, you might just find that it saves your life

Hugs.

It just wasn't helpful to me. When I was in the thick of it--over a week of cio and no progress, all the "it's so easy" "it literally takes a couple days" were like salt on a wound. But I wholeheartedly wish it works for Kerr--if that was she ends up doing.

BabyBebe1 · February 2012

Steph&Harry08:
BabyBebe1:

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

If it would only take three nights we would all do it and everyone would be sttn. I'm not against CIO, I tried it, with a week and a half of not one ounce of progress. My point is, it's not that simple, and IMHO comments like these only make moms going through this feel even worse ("what am I doing wrong" sorta feeling).

Wow. I was only trying to be helpful and supportive while offering what worked for us. I also clearly said that all babies are different. My second son is proving much harder to sleep train. You never really know until you try. I am the last person to think there is a "one size fits all" solution for all babies. I also respect that some people aren't comfortable trying CIO, and I was initially in that camp, so I wanted to suggest the book that really helped me.

These boards are for sharing our experiences, and just as you share what works for you, I did the same.

tokenhoser · February 2012

If what you're doing isn't working for you, you've got to do something else.

If you're at your breaking point, your top priority needs to be to get yourself some sleep first. I left for a night, and it was what I had to do in that situation to get through the last few nights of a crowded house and a crazy baby. And my LO doesn't take a bottle, so yes, he cried. In my sister's arms, though, not for hours all alone or anything.

And if you're at the point where you're doing CIO out of sheer exhaustion, get a book and follow a plan. It might work in a few nights. It didn't for us. We're still having some ups and downs, but it's to the point where it's livable for me now.

deo · February 2012

It sounds like you need a night away. Just to get some sleep and get your sanity back. I know it's not possible sometimes (I have no idea how I'm ever going to get a night away) but if you can swing it, I would take the break.

I have no advice or magic solution, I just wanted to say that we've had weeks like that. DS's sleep usually gets like that when he is teething. I think I saw a post on here last week that your LO is also teething? In our case it usually bothers him most at night and he doesn't really get screamy or anything, he just gets fidgety and wakes up a lot. I have given him a little bit of tylenol before bed a couple of times just to help him sleep better (he's still not STTN). Not saying you should drug your kid to sleep every night just that his teeth might be bugging him more than you think.

prisschris · February 2012

If you get the night away, plan to have an opportunity to really sleep in. I'd get an Ambien to ensure I don't keep waking up wondering why I haven't heard the baby.

I'm the anti-bump mom. I tried breast feeding but I didn't produce much and I had flat nipples. I didn't get a post-hospital-stay consultation. I just switched to formula. When she was 4 months old, I let her CIO about 3 nights in a row and she's been a great sleeper since. She eats all kinds of inorganic processed food.

I can tell you this, you need your sleep and you've got to find a way to get it. Make yourself a priority and everybody wins.

kerrbear72 · February 2012

Thank you ladies, for everything.

I did ready the "no cry sleep solution" and learned a lot from it but either I'm not doing it right, my kid hates me or I am missing something.

I've always preached how I was CIO but 1) I do need to do something else and 2) I truly am uneducated regarding it so my opinions are invalid.

I've desperately have been working on bed sharing and succeeding. I'm sleeping worse and he seems to be fighting it at this point and would rather be in his crib, oddly enough.

I'm sorry to be such a big fat cry baby but I'm just too tired to make anything better if that makes sense. I buckled and just took a 1.5 hour nap while he napped. I feel worse but hopefully it will pay off later.

Lisa, I will try and get ahold of Iris, thank you.

CanuckFan03 · February 2012

I don't think I have any more valuable advice than what the previous ladies said, but wanted to send you a hug. Remember, this will not last forever, no matter what you choose. I want to echo that right now it sounds like you really just need a break, and a new plan. Do you have a sister or a mom who will come do a night of horror?

We did CIO a few months ago, and while it wasn't 'three day magic', things were significantly better after a week. But we did it for a different reason, and it might not be your thing. I wonder if you added up all the crying from his wakes in the night, if that would equal the crying CIO might take.

Overall, I'm just sorry you're going through this. You're a good mom. You desperately just want to do what's right for your baby, as we all do. HUGS!

prisschris · February 2012

I'll echo that. You're a fantastic mom. Make sure you take that to heart. Have the big cry. Eat the ice cream. You just need some sleep and perhaps 24 hours of distance to re-set.

SC1977 · February 2012

Aww, that sucks that you didn't feel better after your nap.

We're kind of in the thick of this too. Our son doesn't nap longer than 30 minutes without being held and he doesn't fall asleep on his own without being bounced on a stupid exercise ball or being nursed. We bed share, so the night waking to nurse doesn't hit me as bad as it's hitting you.

Yesterday was a bad day for all of us so my husband and I googled like maniacs. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution a few months ago and re-read it again this morning to confirm that we didn't miss anything. We didn't. Now I'm starting to think Baby Whisperer thoughts. My husband is home with him today and did the whole Pick Up Put Down thing for his first nap (without realizing it was a Baby Whisperer thing). He fell asleep on his own in the crib eventually, but still didn't sleep longer than 30 minutes. Next I think we'll try the "Wake to Sleep" trick to lengthen his naps and to maybe eliminate his nightly 9pm wake up call for starters.

Just wanted you to know that there are others who feel your pain. I hope it gets better for you guys soon.

Lisa Frank · February 2012

I am in the process of getting rid of my baby books. I'm keeping HSHHC and Ferber, but I will send you my copy of Jodi Mindell's book if you'd like. That's the one Iris is a big fan of and I really thought it was a good read as well. Email/message me your address and I'll put it in the mail to you ASAP.

AZ123 · February 2012

You sound like me with DS1. It was horrible and I was miserable and the lack of sleep can make you batty let alone the fact that a clingy baby wants to be held all the time. It isn't fun. At 6 months, I realized that DS1 was waking up throughout the night to eat or comfort and he didn't need it. So for the betterment of my LO, I did CIO. I just can't imagine that waking and crying that much at night is good for the baby, ya know? It sucks but it usually takes a 5 day committment and you're done. Yes, some babies it doesn't work, but most babies it does. Just focus on getting him good solid naps and a lot of food during the day for a couple of days and then do CIO. That's my advice!

Also, get your SO involved. Get someone to take the baby so you can sleep.

kerrbear72 · February 2012

Lisa Frank:
I am in the process of getting rid of my baby books. I'm keeping HSHHC and Ferber, but I will send you my copy of Jodi Mindell's book if you'd like. That's the one Iris is a big fan of and I really thought it was a good read as well. Email/message me your address and I'll put it in the mail to you ASAP.

Emailed! You rock.

JKHope · February 2012

We have the same child. I swear. The exact same child.

I feel for you so much right now and also, in some strange way, I'm ahppy I'm not alone because I feel like such a failure.

Out of sheer exhaustion and not being able to go through anothr4 hours of waking up every time he hits the crib until 11, and then up a million times again, we bit the bullet and cried it out last night

The first time he cried for about an hour twenty and we checked on him and soothed him whenever he got really worked up (rather than timing it).

The second time, he only got worked up enough to go in once, my husband went in (he gets more worked up when I do). He cried for 40 minutes, played with his sleep sack for 20 and then went to sleep until 5.

I'll be honest, I feel AWFUL today. You'd think I'd feel better but I have always been so anti CIO and I feel like I tried it out of desperation. So, I will be tweaking it tonight but I am still going to do no pick ups and no nursing for comfort. Not going back to responding and picking up and nursing every time. I feel like the problem will only get worse and it hasn't been working for us. I feel like something has to be done or he is just going to end up attached to me all night long at some point. It's so hard though and want to give you a huge hug. You are doing your best and need to take a break. Will your baby take a bottle? Mine will not (I feel like babies with these problems never do...it's all t he same personality)

I would love to compare notes. Since we are in the exact same spot right now maybe we can encourage eachother no matter what method we end up doing. PM me if you want to talk

tokenhoser · February 2012

There's always the Sleep Lady Shuffle as middle ground between CIO and no-cry.

It can just be hard to do these things when you're running on empty. Naps are good. Getting DH to let you sleep at least one morning on the weekend is good. More extreme measures (like a friend's guest room or a hotel) can also be good.

LacieMI · February 2012

kerrbear72:

I'm sorry to be such a big fat cry baby but I'm just too tired to make anything better if that makes sense. I buckled and just took a 1.5 hour nap while he napped. I feel worse but hopefully it will pay off later.

Lisa, I will try and get ahold of Iris, thank you.

This is not called "buckling"... this is called one smart mama. You would never judge another mom who took a nap when her baby napped - you would assume that the other mom needed some rest, and took advantage of a good opportunity. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the VERY best you can, under VERY difficult circumstances. You clearly care about and love your little guy, and continue to make good decisions that are thoughtful and intentional. You are not being unloving, irrational, or impulsive. You are struggling, yet are smartly seeking help for a new plan to better your self/child/home/family life. That is a characteristic of a GREAT parent.

I am sorry you're in the thick of a very hard time. I don't have any advice to make your son sleep better, but I do want to encourage you to not feel an ounce of guit for taking care of yourself or allowing others to help you right now. You (and your healthy, well adjusted, loving) son WILL come out on the other side of this.

carishabob · February 2012

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Kerr. I don't have any advice, we're also in the same position as you, and it stinks. * huge hugs*

klovesp95 · February 2012

Just chiming in to say that I'm sorry for what you're going through... It is seriously debilitating to run on little to no sleep, so it is no wonder you are at your wit's end. I hope you find a solution you are comfortable with and get the rest you need. Big cyber hugs, in the meantime.

As a first time mom, I swore up and down that I could never let LO CIO. I found myself in a position of desperation when I was literally dreading night time b/c we had such issues getting LO down/several night wakings etc. My pedi also strongly suggested we let DD CIO with checks at 5, 10, 15. I realized I was doing a disservice to DD by not doing everything in my power to help her learn how to fall/stay/put herself back to sleep. Sure I hated to hear her cry. I still do, but I had to at least try to see if it would work for us. I am grateful that it did and I completely recognize it does not for everyone. She survived and has become a pretty decent sleeper. Like you, she also started fighting the bed when we co-slept and I finally realized she wanted her crib. Good luck!!!!

toadstool · February 2012

Lisa Frank:
Steph&Harry08:
BabyBebe1:

I know you commented that you never wanted to do CIO so this may not be helpful to you but I wanted to at least share my very similar experience. Our first son did exactly this to us when he was 8ish months. It was totally brutal. We were up 4-5 times a night and basically rocking him until he was back to sleep and then carefully setting him in his crib. My DH and I were at each other's throats, both so frustrated.

I'm sure you know where I am going here, but I too wasn't sold on letting him cry. But everyone kept telling me how it had worked for them and my pediatrician said that she thought we were being manipulated by him (and also verified he wasn't sick at all). I also bought and read the Healthy Sleep Habits book, which for me really made me realize that letting him cry would not harm him. And then we did it. And he literally only cried for 40 minutes and 20 minutes the first night, 20 and 5 the next, and then maybe 10 the third night. And then it was over and he slept through the night. Of course it doesn't always work that smoothly...all babies are different, but I was shocked how easy it was. Hard at the same time, but easy.

Anyways, I know you said that you don't want to do CIO, but I had to share our story because I read your words and I just feel for you. I remember that sense of desperation and frustration. Regardless of what you decide, HUGS, and remember, this too shall pass. They all sleep eventually.

If it would only take three nights we would all do it and everyone would be sttn. I'm not against CIO, I tried it, with a week and a half of not one ounce of progress. My point is, it's not that simple, and IMHO comments like these only make moms going through this feel even worse ("what am I doing wrong" sorta feeling).

How exactly is this unhelpful? I think hearing from a 2nd time mom about her experience is more comforting than harmful. I loved hearing these accounts when I was in the thick of it with my DS.

Kerr, big e-hug. If you have a chance, chat with Iris today. I think it's important that you do hear the stories like BabyBebe's. Because you can be anti-CIO all you want, but when you are at your wits, and it's your only option, you might just find that it saves your life

Hugs.

kelly321 · February 2012

LacieMI:
kerrbear72:

I'm sorry to be such a big fat cry baby but I'm just too tired to make anything better if that makes sense. I buckled and just took a 1.5 hour nap while he napped. I feel worse but hopefully it will pay off later.

Lisa, I will try and get ahold of Iris, thank you.

This is not called "buckling"... this is called one smart mama. You would never judge another mom who took a nap when her baby napped - you would assume that the other mom needed some rest, and took advantage of a good opportunity. Don't be so hard on yourself.

This. It is not buckling to sleep while your LO naps! I also feel worse after getting up from a nap, but I think in the end the added sleep does help.

I was also against CIO (I was one of those "It's not for me but if it works for you that's fine" while secretly judging the moms who did it) until DD was waking up like every 30-45 minutes and it was taking up to 2 hours to put her down at night. We were at our wits end and fighting all the time (DH and I, I mean). So I bought and read Ferber and gave it a try. We are one of the families that it worked miracles for, but I know it doesn't work for everyone. In his book, he says if it's not working after a week to try something else. I can only urge you to get a couple of books on sleep training and read them to understand the principles of sleep and why some sleep training works. I thought Ferber had a wonderful explanation of why sleep associations can be a bad thing, and it made me feel better about trying his method.

I'm so sorry you're feeling awful. This, too, shall pass.

Lisa Frank · February 2012

I got your email. Book in the mail on Monday! No dead rats included Wink

Just big hugs and lots of love!

kerrbear72 · February 2012

Lisa Frank:
I got your email. Book in the mail on Monday! No dead rats included Just big hugs and lots of love!

Lisa Frank · February 2012

kerrbear72:
Lisa Frank:
I got your email. Book in the mail on Monday! No dead rats included Just big hugs and lots of love!

DH, who took the day off, just informed me he didn't make it to the PO. I'll bring it with me to work and rogue ship it tomorrow

pandi02a · February 2012

Hugs Kerr! D is actually the same way but it goes in waves. He'll sleep horribly for a week and then okay (still up at least a couple of times) for a week. Last week was a bad week for us. I don't know what to do either but all I can add is that it won't be this way forever. The bad weeks feel so long but they pass. XOXO

kerrbear72 · February 2012

pandi02a:
Hugs Kerr! D is actually the same way but it goes in waves. He'll sleep horribly for a week and then okay (still up at least a couple of times) for a week. Last week was a bad week for us. I don't know what to do either but all I can add is that it won't be this way forever. The bad weeks feel so long but they pass. XOXO

Thanks babe. Sorry you had a bad week too

xo

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