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Austin Babies
can we talk about ferber
i'm at a loss. J won't even let us put him down anymore. we've been co-sleeping since i went back to work at 3-months. i didn't mind it at all cause = extra snuggles and he always slept in his crib until around 11PM-1AM when he woke for the first time after going to bed around 6:30-7PM so it wasn't bad. I got stuff done, brought him to bed with me when he woke and it worked...
but lately, he won't sleep at all unless he's held. this last week has been hell. i don't know what to do. i know i need to change his sleep association but seriously at a loss here.
he's crawling now and pulling up so the crying fits are way worse. i know every mom thinks that their kid is going to the one who cries for hours when doing ferber but seriously, this kid fights sleep like no other. he fights naps even if he's been awake forever and he's being held! its crazy!!
so talk to me about ferber and CIO for interval... how many intervals did you actually have to do?? how many nights? or talk to me about some other solutions cause i'm really not sold on ferber...
help please
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Re: can we talk about ferber
DS was still waking ~twice a night to nurse by 11 months, and I was still nursing at night because I was paranoid about my supply, but once the pedi said whole milk was okay to supplement with I decided we needed to start some sort of sleep training. In preparation for that I knew I had to night wean. I stopped cold turkey and within a few nights he was sleeping through the night. I would just rock him back to sleep and he was fine.
If you're okay with night weaning, maybe you could start with that? It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be.
We had to do it 2 separate times, since my DD got sick, teething, we went out of town etc.
The first time it was probably 3-4 nights, 3-4 intervals the first night and less after that. But that wasn't the hard part for us, the hard part was intervals in the middle of the night. We probably had another 2-3 for a night waking or 2. The 2nd time we did it it was maybe 2 nights.
Definitely read the book, it'll really help you understand why not to give up in the middle
We had to do it several times between 7 and 11 months because of travel or illness or what have you.
It was difficult. But, it never lasted more than 2-3 nights, and that was just early on. The last couple of times we did it it was 1 night for 10 minutes. That's it. And now, knock on wood, it's rare that we have to go in there. She might wake in the night but she quickly puts herself back to sleep.
definitely waiting til friday.
cant remember the intervals -- whatever the book says 5, 7, 10 on night one? stayed for ~1 min. basically to lay him back down, give him back his paci and soothe a little.
he could have been teething... might still be?? 3 have broken the surface the last few weeks and he's bitten me several times nursing this week... so this may not be the week to start still? its hard to tell! he doesn't grab at his mouth like he did early on when he was teething
I know there have been folks who Ferber w/ a paci (pretty sure molliedb did), but we went cold turkey on the paci before starting. The reason being, if he wakes up when he spits out his paci, you're still needing to go in there to soothe. The point of Ferber is for them to self soothe, knowing that you are available, if needed.
In the book (IIRC), he compared it to being in the hospital, recovering from surgery, and having your pillow fall on the floor. You can't reach it and you're more comfortable sleeping w/ it, so you page the nurse. Nurse comes in, replaces your pillow, you fall to sleep...until your pillow falls on the floor. You page the nurse, and so on.
I will say, we ended up w/ a finger sucker and a thumb sucker from around 8 mos through 2 (Tommy) and 4(Jack).
Oh girl. I do not have any advice at all because we are in the (almost exact) same boat. I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain! I was going to post basically the same thing this morning. I'm so sorry you're going through this, to say it sucks is a major understatement, right?!?
Our issue is that after "trying" Ferber for one night, DH and I gave up and both felt horrible about it all week. I swear this kid would cry for 4 hours if we let him. :-( He is VERY persistent. So we came to terms with having a family bed. Great, we all sleep better that way anyway. Um yeah. For the last 3 nights I have been an all night buffet and he will.not.sleep. WTF? He will be out like a light but wakes as soon as I put him in the crib. Even if I try to get him to sleep in our bed, he will not do it anymore without nursing first. I'm exhausted. He won't nap, either. 30 minutes twice a day, tops, if we're lucky. Oh, and last week he slept in his bed all week, until Saturday night when the buffet apparently opened.
Not trying to hijack, just wanted to commiserate. I just started reading the Ferber book this weekend and it is very interesting. I am finding it very helpful just for my own knowledge (so far). DH and I are really against CIO and I hope it doesn't come down to that, but it just might if he doesn't stop eating all night long. Good luck, I really hope that you guys figure out something that works and you all get some sleep very soon!