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2nd Trimester
cmurphy09
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Asking friends to become God Parents??
cmurphy09
member
*EDIT* when I say Godparent I mean Guardian
Has anyone done this?? Not sure how to go about doing this & would like to hear some stories.
I was thinking of inviting them out to dinner but does that make the occasion 'special enough'?
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Re: Asking friends to become God Parents??
Awe, I like that idea
What was the process like - paperwork wise? Did you guys have to do anything or is it solely handled by the parents?
Personally I would not ask friends. Just because they can come and go. Not sure what you mean by paper work. Both my boys have family members as Godparents. My oldest has DH's sister and my uncle and my youngest has my brother and DH's aunt.
Our family situation is different. Our close friends are our family... This is a sensitive topic & way off base. I did not ask for a personal opinion of who one thinks I should ask.
I simply asked the right way to go about doing it - I'm sure there is legal paperwork involved to make someone a God parent, blood or not.
We're not really religious per se', wasn't sure if there is some legal binding paperwork that should be done. Like a marriage certificate or Will.
This may be a super stupid question but, when someone refers to someone as a God Parent, does that mean that person will be the child's legal guardian should the parents die? Or, is a God Parent someone who is responsible for the child's religious upbrining should the parents die regardless of who the legal guardian is?
I've always been confused on this becuase I've heard it both ways...
edit Their not There
Are you asking them to be your child's legal guardians if something were to happen to you and your husband? Or are you just asking them as more of a symbolic, religious thing? If you're wanting them to be legal guardians of your children if something happens to you, then there's definitely paperwork. We went through our lawyer.
We selected friends to be our children's godparents as well. We're not really religious, but these friends will be our children's guardians should something happen to us. Our friends are our family, too. We both have decent sized families, but we just weren't comfortable with any of them ever raising our kids if they had to.
I always thought of Godparent & Guardian being one in the same... It will be for mine & DH's circumstance.
That's a good question though & this explained it a bit better for me:
https://www.hamilllawoffice.com/estate-planning/godparent/
Thanks! We're not religious, so there'd be no point to "god parents" for us (no baptism and such). We'll be choosing guardians though. I'm not sure of the process yet.
Are you thinking of guardianship? I know that we filled out paperwork for our LO at our lawyers office to update our will. We clearly outlined who would watch over LO if anything were to happen to me or my husband. They will also be the godparents when LO finally arrives
I think having them over for dinner or just sitting down and talking with them works. We sat them down and explained why we chose them, how much they meant to us, and asked if they would be interested. They of course said they would, apparently I laid it on a little thick hahaha
Yes, essentially I am asking about guardianship, thought Godparent was another word for guardian... Didn't realize there was a difference until someone mentioned. Same here, no one in our family are suitable as a parental/guardian role. Not one person had been there when we desperately needed, which happened just recently. BUT they can show up if there's a 'party' or if it's convenient for them. They barely raised me & Not the type of ppl I want raising my child. Same situation for my DH as well...
I think it's all up to you. If your friends are close family friends I don't see a problem with it.
Some of us have friends close enough to us that we wouldn't hesitate to ask them to be God Parents.
I think a dinner sounds like a good idea, the occasion is very special if you ask me.
And the "paperwork" depends on religion, but it's no different then asking a family member, at lease for me (catholic).
I think most people view "Godparents" as a different role then "legal guardian" (although sometimes they are the same people) It sounds like you are looking to make someone your child?s "legal guardian" and I would recommend 100% that after you receive your friends permission, you see a lawyer and get the proper paperwork completed.
There is a lot of specific items that a lawyer will ensure will be done properly. You may have specific requests as far as how your assets are divided up if you were both to pass. Just a few things to think about?.. Will all of your assets (life insurance, house, car etc) go directly to this couple to raise your child or do you want some money specifically saved for when your child turns a certain age, or a lump sum for them to go to school???
If you are having problem with your families it is imperative that you have the proper paperwork filed because if you don?t then it would just be your friends ?word? against your families in a custody hearing after your passing?
You may also want to set specific boundaries for visitation rights for your families so that your friends would not have to fight with them over these issues
Basically the more you guys lay out ahead of time the better. This will ensure that your wishes are followed though with and there is no room for interpretation by your families.
One last comment? once this paperwork is done it can always be changed at a later date if you decide your wishes have changed. You should review and update your will every few years anyways so it?s a good practice to get started.
First of all...being a Godparent isn't the same as being the child's Guardian should something happen to you or your SO/DH. Guardianship has legal significance and Godparents have religious significance.
That being said, we plan on asking DH best friend to be the godfather of our baby and will probably take him out to dinner to ask him. I think dinner is always a safe bet because it shows someone that you wanted to make it special, but isn't too over the top or too understated.
As for paperwork, my church is very strict. Both godparents have to have a letter from the church in which they received Confirmation, pretty much just confirming that they did in fact go through Confirmation. The parents also have to be officially registered with the church (usually that just means you give an envelope and fill out some paperwork). Some churches are different and only require one godparent to be Confirmed, etc....but it all depends on your church. I would call and make sure the requirements first before anything else. It kinda sounds more difficult than it really is, but better safe than sorry.