Multiples

"oh you should have had twins first"

really?  thanks for the tip! 

does anyone else get this if you have had children before your twin pregancy?  i have a 3 year old son and im sort of getting tired of hearing "oh, you should have had the twins first. you did it backwards. it will be a lot harder this time around.". and the thing is, i dont even look at it that way.  im sure there are pros/cons to both, and i know it will be harder - obviously....but i choose to be positive about my situation and think well at least i have the newborn experience under my belt so i can be somewhat prepared for the chaos that is ahead.  - not that there is any way to truly prepare for a twin pregnancy/birth i feel like.

but anyways, it's not like i (or any of us!) have a choice in the matter.  and my doctors have actually been happy about my prior pregnancy - that's why they arent all over me about my weight and other things im sure.  but i certainly dont say to moms expecting for the first time who are pg with twins "oh, too bad you didnt have a prior pregnancy because they say that really helps with a twin pregnancy.".  ...i would never say that.

im just ignoring most stuff i hear now, which is kind of sad.  but even when i was pg with my son, i got tons of unwanted advice - advice that was 100% wrong.  that i would never sleep again or that breastfeeding would be so hard.  none of that was true for my son.  it will probably be much more true for the babies but what i learned being pregnant with my son is that not only do you get lots of unwanted advice, a lot of it is flat out wrong bc it depends on the baby and family situation.

Re: "oh you should have had twins first"

  • OMG I just got this the other day!!!  Emily is almost 3 and people are telling me how hard this will be all the time!  I told one woman that I was sorry she felt that way and just left her office.  ug!  For the record, Em already has a list of things she will do for the babies - wash their hair and teach them about Elmo top her list :) 
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  • people are dumb! :P

    i think it's great because you know what it's like to have a baby. it's hard enough to be a first time mom and be given two (or three or more) babies at once without knowing what to do!

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  • I had my twins first and I hear all the time that it must be so hard to be a clueless new parent with two babies.  Like you said, there are pros and cons to both.  But I love how people suggest that we somehow get a choice!  People sometimes tell me that I should have had a girl and a boy so I could be "done."  lol
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  • I often wonder if my twin pregnancy had been my first one if I would have ever agreed to get pregnant again due to how rough it was! So I'm kind of glad I had my son first and the twins second. But yes, I've learned people often speak first and think about what they said afterwards. Silly people!Wink
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  • imageMuseumMaven:
    People sometimes tell me that I should have had a girl and a boy so I could be "done."  lol

    I am sooooooooo sick of people telling me "OOh a boy and a girl, you can be "done" now!  Like - what business is it of yours??  DH and I would love to have a thrid or even 4th down the road - we love children.  And then we get the "ooh you are crazy" look from people who have NO clue what its like to raise twins - so if you don't know - don't hand out advice to me!!

    *Phew - rant over =)

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  • I'm just starting to get the comments from people and I'm realizing i need to be prepared with good comebacks.

    People really are nuts!!!!!!!!! 

  • FWIW, my older son was 3 when I had the twins, and even with twins, it was still easier the second time around.  I think for most people, it's easier with your second (& third!) because you don't have that huge adjustment to becoming a parent.  

    One of my favorite responses is, "Thank you for your unsolicited advice."  It's polite and rude at the same time, and makes people think.

  • imagesmcgervey:

    imageMuseumMaven:
    People sometimes tell me that I should have had a girl and a boy so I could be "done."  lol

    I am sooooooooo sick of people telling me "OOh a boy and a girl, you can be "done" now!  Like - what business is it of yours??  DH and I would love to have a thrid or even 4th down the road - we love children.  And then we get the "ooh you are crazy" look from people who have NO clue what its like to raise twins - so if you don't know - don't hand out advice to me!!

    *Phew - rant over =)

    The most frequent comment we get is that having a boy and a girl is "so perfect," and I have to say I don't even really understand where people are coming from on that one. We would have been happy no matter what.

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  • My MIL likes to sigh and say "It would have been so much easier if you only had one." Really?? Thanks for that really useful commentary. 
  • Like you have a choice in the matter.  FWIW, my MoM friends with 1 + twins are all way calmer and more laid back than I was as a first time mom. 

     I get the "oh you're done" all the time. I smile and say "for now!" 

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  • so dumb!  i also have a 3 year old ..she will be 3.5 when the twins are born and who makes the choice to do things in a certain order AND honestly those comments drive me nuts....

    i am excited for my daughter and our growing family and people have something to say about everything....

    my favorite comment is..."oh you are gong to have your hands full"  ...REALLY?? thanks for letting me know!!!!   with two babies and only two hands, yes my hands MAY be full.... 

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  • imageleapgirl8:
    imagesmcgervey:

    imageMuseumMaven:
    People sometimes tell me that I should have had a girl and a boy so I could be "done."  lol

    I am sooooooooo sick of people telling me "OOh a boy and a girl, you can be "done" now!  Like - what business is it of yours??  DH and I would love to have a thrid or even 4th down the road - we love children.  And then we get the "ooh you are crazy" look from people who have NO clue what its like to raise twins - so if you don't know - don't hand out advice to me!!

    *Phew - rant over =)

    The most frequent comment we get is that having a boy and a girl is "so perfect," and I have to say I don't even really understand where people are coming from on that one. We would have been happy no matter what.

    We get this all.the.time.  since we are having two boys "to go with" our two girls.  We would have been happy/had our family completed regardless.   

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  • When people make judgements about something that can't be controled, I just laugh and say "I guess the creater of the universe didn't agree with you."

    It kind of makes a point that they are silly without having to say something rude, and on top of that it's true.

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  • imageMrs_MBed:
    imageleapgirl8:
    imagesmcgervey:

    imageMuseumMaven:
    People sometimes tell me that I should have had a girl and a boy so I could be "done."  lol

    I am sooooooooo sick of people telling me "OOh a boy and a girl, you can be "done" now!  Like - what business is it of yours??  DH and I would love to have a thrid or even 4th down the road - we love children.  And then we get the "ooh you are crazy" look from people who have NO clue what its like to raise twins - so if you don't know - don't hand out advice to me!!

    *Phew - rant over =)

    The most frequent comment we get is that having a boy and a girl is "so perfect," and I have to say I don't even really understand where people are coming from on that one. We would have been happy no matter what.

    We get this all.the.time.  since we are having two boys "to go with" our two girls.  We would have been happy/had our family completed regardless.   

    Yes!  We might have more, we might not.  Is my family of boys somehow incomplete?  Do I have to keep having baby after baby until I have a girl?

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  • I'm surprised you all didn't plan your multiple pregnancy like I did. It's all is the timing you know. Do it double under a full moon, and bam, TWINS. And since I can see the future, I know it was DEFINITELY best if we did the twins first. Even if we have no clue about raising kids. Tsk, tsk, ladies! 
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  • imageRLH315:
    My MIL likes to sigh and say "It would have been so much easier if you only had one." Really?? Thanks for that really useful commentary. 

    I'm sorry, but LOL.

    Sigh...MILs...you can't live with 'em, you can't kick 'em to the curb.

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