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D.C. Area Babies
Please encourage me
LO has been sick on and off since October and when he isn't sick he's teething. When we went for his one year appointment, he had fallen off the weight charts (he's always been around 5th or 10th percentile).(That is the CDC chart - he was still barely on the WHO chart at around 3rd percentile).
We immediately started pediasure and really doubled our feeding efforts and he gained almost a pound in less than two weeks, but now it's been another two weeks and he hasn't gained at all. Even with that extra pound, he's maybe in the 1st or 2nd percentile.
He has an ear infection, so I'm sure that didn't help, but he won't even drink anything at home. He will nurse, but no bottles. So he's not getting the 12 oz of pediasure that he gets at daycare since he's home sick.
I am so unbelievably stressed out about the feeding - meals end in tears and they're usually mine. Two nights a week DH works late and I am in charge of pickup, dinner and bedtime all by myself. Add to that the fact that I've been sick for almost a week and I haven't slept a full night since December, and I am a very unhappy mama right now.
I honestly don't know what else I can do. I can't physically force him to eat, can I? He is very strong-willed and he presses his mouth shut, turns his head and will spit out food. We try so many kinds of food and it makes me sick to think of how much has been wasted.
Here's where I need encouragement - since day 1 he has been a difficult baby - he was colicky and we always had weight concerns and now this feeding issue. I also know that he's bright and happy and loving, but on bad days like today, the difficult stuff is overwhelming. Please tell me it won't always be this hard!
ETA: I am also missing all kinds of work because of all the illnesses, and this is a tremendously busy time for me at work. I am definitely dropping balls because of this.
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Re: Please encourage me
hang in there.
is there any food he loves, loves, loves? or does he refuse everything?
sprout went through a period of refusing almost everything i offered & he ended up having a lot of bananas & PB sandwiches. not the most nutritionally complete meal, but they were something i knew he loved & wouldn't fight me on.
will he drink out of a cup at all? if he skips meals, could he drink some WCM out of a cup?
Can you afford a mother's helper for those 2 evenings a week? It could even be a college student. Someone who could help get dinner ready, etc? A friend of mine did this and she said it made a world of difference for her. If it's someone like a student who's just looking for a little extra money you could do 4 hours/week at $40 or $50.
Has the pedi suggested looking into EI for eating? If you're struggling that much, it might be worth a shot. The OT can give you new ideas/approaches that might make the whole process less stressful for all of you.
Hang in there! It WILL get better. We had a similar stretch of sickness when J was around one year-18 months old. It's cold season, so I'm sure that doesn't help the ear problems.
P.S. - a little birdie told me that he and littlepriessless both love mashed potatoes! LOL.
You could try feeding him some if he feels up to eating...
((Hugs))
I don't really have any advice - but I did have a colicky baby - so I understand the frustration. Just know you are a great mom and at some point it will get better.
Oh, and I love the mother's helper idea.
Another idea - have you tried cooking bigger meals on the weekend, to use throughout the week?
One other idea that sometimes works with DD. If DD refuses a certain type of food I leave it on her tray and offer her something that I know that she likes. Many times (certainly not all), DD will go back to eating the thing she refused after taking some bites of things she liked.
I think your DS is over 1 now, right? What is he doing in terms of finger foods? DD MUCH prefers to feed herself so we do as much as possible in terms of finger foods. Bananas, squash, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, cherrios, peas are all staples for us. Cheese was another good option for a while. (Strange girl now refuses cheese - if I didn't know better I would think she wasn't mine.)
sorry you're having such a rough patch...it will get better eventually, just as it has in the past.
In the meantime, can you work late a couple nights so DH has to do pickup, dinner, and bedtime himself? I hope this doesn't sound awful, but sometimes I like being able to say at work a little longer than usual because I get to focus and get things accomplished so I don't feel as bad leaving to take care of DS other days. It could also give your DH a taste of your challenges so maybe he won't have to stay late quite so often or can chip in more in other ways until you get through this rough spot.
Do you have to keep LO home from DCP? If DS doesn't have a fever and is generally not awful I still send him. It would be impossible for us to keep him home every time he got sick with a cold.
I like PPs suggestion of a mother's helper. Aside from evenings, if they came during the days you kept LO home from DC you could also get some work done or even nap.
It will get better, I promise!
I agree with PP who suggested feeding a favorite food first and then giving some different things during a meal. We have to do this sometimes.
Does DS have a fever? Is he just not sleeping at night? How sick is he? If it's an ear infection that's being treated with antibiotics and he's feeling good, can he go to daycare at all to give you a break? I'm not saying you should send a sick DS to daycare, but I know that if I kept my LOs home everytime they had a cold/runny nose, they wouldn't have been able to do since like November.
Can your DH handle bedtime by himself for two nights during the week to give you a break and make up for the time he has to work late?
I wish I had better advice. Hang in there!
oh and on the foods, a couple of thoughts (I haven't dealt with this myself, but it sounds like you're looking for some ideas)
Does LO like to "share" his food with you or the kitty? maybe you could make a little bit of a game out of eating all together? (like you eat a piece of food, give a treat to the cat, give LO a piece) DS definitely eats better when we're eating with him.
Could you make some banana or zuchinni bread things? You could make it with some flax seed, apple sauce instead of butter or other nutrient/calorie boosting ingredients.
how about giving him snacks in the bathtub or with a little sesame street or barney on TV? in our house everthing is easier in the bathtub
could you try a dropper or syringe with pedia sure in it? You could try to give him a squirt here or there while he's busy doing something else. DS actually reacted much better to this than I thought he would.
I'm sure you're already trying hard, but I think it might help if you really, really try to keep a lighthearted attitude at meals. When DH feeds DS sometimes he gets frustrated and then DS picks up on that frustration and it all goes downhill fast.
GL!
I'd talk to your pedi more about the food thing. You can't really force kids to eat, unfortunately. M went through a stage about a month ago where he was literally only eating about 5 foods. It drove me nuts. Does J have any foods that he will almost always eat? Offer the new foods first, but if he refuses them, I think it's fine to go back to your old standbys, as long as they're fairly healthy.
A PP triggered another idea--what if you just let him snack casually throughout the day/evening right now? Like putting out plates or bowls of food for him to munch on? Or just giving him some bites of cheese while he's playing? The second my kids see me open a cheese stick when they're playing, they'll drop what they're doing and toddle over and beg for some, no matter how full they are or how recently they've eaten.
I'm sorry it's so frustrating right now. Eating, since you do it so often, is a tough battle to have with a kid, and so easy to get thrown off by illnesses and teething.
I would go back to your pediatrician and ask for recommendations to either a pediatric nutritionist or pediatric occupational therapist who works with feeding issues for an evaluation. Prematurity can be associated with having difficulty transitioning to other sources of food (like breast to bottle, solids) so you're not alone. Getting more help and different techniques from professionals may help you both get on track and have fewer tears.
I wish there was something more I could do! Hang in there. If your LO is doing well in other areas you can tackle this challenge and move in a positive direction.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
You say he won't take bottles--have you tried straw cups or sippies? You could try to make him smoothies with fruits/veggies/yogurt/protein powder.
Is he taking vitamins?
What are the things that he really, consistently likes to eat? Are there ways to get more protein into those? Like J loves waffles, so we make sure to put nut butter on them. And I recently made these energy bites for him--not sure if that's something your LO could handle at that age but they have lots of protein.
I would definitely call your pediatrician to put your mind at ease. I know there have been a few times where J has been sick/on antibiotics and it really affected his appetite, so this might all clear up as soon as he's feeling better, but it can't hurt to talk to an expert.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
sorry you are having a hard time :-(
DD loved (and still loves) greek yogurt. we get the chobani with the fruits (usually the 2%). Even when she is sick, she will eat it.
Thanks for the suggestions and encouragement.
I have already set up an early intervention evaluation for him, so I feel like I am taking some action.
He does go to daycare when he's just sniffly or has been on antibiotics. This particular illness he got a fever on Thursday morning that didn't go away until Thursday night, and then he spiked on Sunday, and we didn't start antibiotics until Monday afternoon after his appointment, so he has missed 4 days. He's going back tomorrow, though.
DH teaches, so it's not by choice that he's not home on those nights. I do occasionally work nights, too, so we are balanced on those. I do like the idea of a mother's helper, or maybe my mom could come over those nights. Just someone to entertain him while I get a few things done. It's also so rushed - I pick him up around 5:15 and he's in bed by 7:15 or 7:30, so everything happens quickly.
I will mull over all the ideas and definitely keep trying them out!
I think this is a really good idea, that part of the day is the hardest and just having someone around to entertain LO is a huge help. We've also tried to prepare as much for dinner as possible the day before if we know only one of us will be home for the evening routine. That way we just have to pop it in the microwave and we're ready to go.
I just wanted to add some encouragement!
PPs have given some great advice. I don't have a great eater either so I can't help too much with that.
I hope that things get better soon. This too shall pass...
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DS had some pretty severe picky eating issues as a young toddler up until he hit about 2.5 or so. We had him on a high calorie high fat diet until then and he still hovered between the 5th and 7th percentiles, so I know how stressful it can be.
One thing we discovered was that he'd refuse to eat in his high chair, but if we got him out before we cleaned up, he'd start picking up the food he had just thrown and eating it then. So, we continued to try feeding him meals at mealtime, but then we'd move that SAME food over to a special cabinet in the kitchen and put it there once dinner was over. He'd get down, run away, and then come back and chow down from the stupid cabinet. Yes, it led to snacking and we really had to work on sitting at the table and such, but it got calories into him.
He was also prone to drinking his calories instead of eating them. On really bad days, we could always make a smoothie with avocado, whole fat greek yogurt, and whatever else we had lying around to get calories, protein and fat in him. Avocado was in pretty much everything back in those days.
That sounds so stressful and you must be unbelievably tired
My friend's son had a similar issue where he just wasn't hungry, and was not on the growth charts... after much testing, she discovered that he had a growth condition. Here is a website with information on that:
https://www.magicfoundation.org/
I'm not suggesting your child has a big underlying cause, but perhaps a more mild one like food allergies? You mentioned he had colic as a baby... that's a sign of food intolerances. Have you had him allergy tested? There is the skin testing for immediate reactions, and also there is IgG testing for delayed food reactions (that would only show up - maybe as a rash or something - a few days after the child ate the food, by which time you would have no idea what they had eaten a few days prior). You've heard of kids that never liked a certain food and it turns out they just knew they were allergic to it. It may be helpful to be sure that his body isn't having to work super hard just to process his diet. Just a thought!
I hope you get some answers soon so that your little one keeps healthy and growing. Best wishes!
You already got a lot of great advice. While you are home with him and trying to get him to take fluids, not the healthiest option, but have you thought about blending his pediasure with ice cream to make a milk shake. Both of my LOs will do almost anything for ice cream. At least that makes it half healthy. I second the snacking throughout the day for calories. DS dropped 10 percentage points on the weight chart at his 1 year appointment and when I reflected back on it, I don't think I give him enough snacks.
And most importantly hugs to you. This is stressful. Remember to give yourself some breathing time at the end of the day.
I didn't read all the responses but have you tried "tricking" him into eating? Maybe when he's running around, come up to him and put something fatty into his mouth. My DD seems to eat a lot better when she's outside playing.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS