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For ADHD/AS moms, do you find yourself diagnosing people you meet out in life?

torrey111torrey111
in Special Needs

Now that I am submerged in this world, reading about it all the time, being on here with you all, talking with other moms IRL, I feel like I am so hyper aware of the signs that I often say to myself, "that kid totally is ADHD", or "that guy is so Asperger".  Not in a judgmental, mean way (my kid is tee-toeing on the edge of both)- but I just can't help but to notice it now, where as before, I would have just thought the person a little odd or shy.

For example, we are just back from a glorious  weekend away from our life (awesome mother-in-the-law took the kids for the weekend) and we went WAY up North to the border of Canada for some R&R.  Just us and our dog.  Heaven.

We love the outdoors so naturally, hooked up with the staff naturalist there for a moon hike.  I could tell from the get go that he was soically a little different, but very likeable and easy enough to talk to.  Not a normal amount of eye contact and a very monotone way of speaking.  Then we went on the hike where we were going to try to find wolves- that is, we were going to howl at them to see if they were near and would howl back.  (I'll interject here by saying, that it seemed like a good idea at first, but 30 minutes into the black forest, I was a bit scared and thinking I was for sure going to die by wolf ambush).  There was about 18 of us and our guide.  OMG- this guy is SMART!  He gave us so much information which at first was all very interesting, but then it went on and on, got super detailed and factual, and then I was just lost.  The stuff this guy knows about the constellations is INSANE.  The stuff this guy knows about the trees is INSANE.  The things he knows about  the Northern Lights and what it is and why it happens is INSANE.  

I spent some of the next day with him cross-country skiing and my husband went skijorring with him- so we both had one-on-one time with him and came to the same conclusion. And then he did a folk music thing Sat night where he played 9 different instruments!!  And well!!! 

In the end, if he is AS or high-functioning Autistic, it was really inspiring  for me in thinking about my own son and his future.  There IS a place for everyone to thrive as they are in this world!

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Re: For ADHD/AS moms, do you find yourself diagnosing people you meet out in life?

  • bugmommybugmommy
    You know the Bruce Willis movie where the kid sees dead people?  I always joke that I see autism :). More honestly I notice developmental areas, many of which are totally normal independently.  After sitting through two rounds of evals for kids with ASD I do know a lot of symptoms but I'm still no expert.  But I'm convinced my BIL has AS though :)
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  • houndbabyhoundbaby member

    I do tend to wonder sometimes if certain people are on spectrum or just a bit odd, I think I did the same before my ds was dx though. I myself have ADHD, I like to think no one would notice and try to dx me!

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  • lite-brightlite-bright member

    Now that I'm more aware, I do tend to do that. 

    I see it more as a compassion/cutting people slack thing. Where my reaction used to be, "weird..." now it's "well, maybe they're on the spectrum/have a disorder/etc." and I see a person more from a place of patience & empathy rather than irritation or feeling uncomfortable. Which is where I should've been to begin with!

    When we took our girls to see fireworks on the fourth, there was a little boy wandering around with his dad trailing after him that I really wondered about. He wanted to keep spinning the wheels on our bike trailer, seemed very detached, and there were just several other little things that made me think ASD. DD1 was trying to talk to him, and his dad said he had a speech delay; I very badly wanted to ask if they'd had him evaluated for ASD. But I didn't -- they were complete strangers and it was really none of my business.  

    I know that quite a few of the kids in DD1's class have IEPs, and I always wonder what for and find myself guessing until I know the child & their parent(s) well enough to ask. Some are genetic disorders (DS), but the "invisible" ones like speech delays and ASD are harder to parse out. But it is nice to know who else is dealing with ASD, especially since one of the other girls in DD1's class has it as well. 

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    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
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  • malcivarmalcivar member
    Oh yeah.  I keep it to myself mostly because being so new to this, I don't trust my instincts just yet but DH has a nephew that everyone just likes to say is just "quirky" but I don't know - interests way too fixed, abnormal reactions to certain situations, but again, I'd never suggest it.  Honestly I'd be afraid that they would say I'm just trying to ease my own mind about DS.  
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    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

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  • nomadicanomadica member
    DH does this a lot (seeing ASD everywhere), but I find myself almost doing the opposite at times. Like, I'll get annoyed with him for saying that so-and-so is totally on the spectrum and just say "can't he/she just be a little different/odd/unique without it being a disorder?!?". Even though sometimes he is right, I'm sure. At the same time, there is a boy in our therapeutic playgroup whose mom insists he just has a speech delay and I do sometimes want to scream that he has an ASD!
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