? for those that didn't take a birth class

xoladiebug · February 2012

I'm curious to know how your husbands are preparing for your labor? I took an online course at BabyCenter, and have been reading What to Expect When You're Expecting. My husband, however, hasn't done much in the way of preparing. What are some ways you're including him in your preparation and are there some great "guy friendly" site you've encountered?

futuresebss · February 2012

Bump burp

futuresebss · February 2012

I'm telling him lots of stuff, and right now he's reading "The Big Book of Birth," which I already read. Besides that, nothing else. Hopefully he won't pass out!

kmhunt11 · February 2012

Not a site, but the book that's titled something like "Look! My Boys Can Swim!" was a good crash course, and helped DH get in the right mindset.

joygazz · February 2012

he did not read anything or go to anything.

he would have been willing to do what ever i asked him to do. Thats all i cared about.

Mattel · February 2012

Due to DH's extreme queasiness, we are planning for him to just kind of sit in a chair next to me while my sister and Aunt help with labor. That's as much involvement he can tolerate while still being in the delivery room for me. He does watch OBEM and Baby's First Day and all of the Babycenter videos with me so he sort of knows what to expect, but that's as much as we can do. I'll be amazed if he makes it through the entire process without losing all color in his face or fainting!

drewbon13 · February 2012

My husband has me sit down and basically explain things to him. He has been very involved in almost every part of this pregnancy. And I've had him sit down and read parts of the "What to expect when you're expecting" book, so he has a pretty firm grasp on what is going to happen. :-) He has been very supportive and I feel that he will do perfect at helping me through labor.

B&T5 · February 2012

If you have Netflix look for any baby movie you can. Unless you have a specific birth experience in mind all a husband can do is hold your leg & count while you push, offer encouragement & do whatever you need him to do (back rubs, get ice, tell people F off or hurry up),

GuppyAmy · February 2012

After my DH passed out at the hospital tour, our plan is for him not to pass out the day of, the less he knows the better. As a result, he will have a chair and be near my head. The doctors and nurses will help me.

williams4me · February 2012

We did 1 class that was 2 nights, but other than that he has been reading a book I got him...although I can't remember the name of it off hand...

kiarstin · February 2012

Nothing, he doesn't have to actually do anything, and a doctor or nurse will keep us updated. I have describe the process, told him certain ways it can go. He knows it could be very long and that I will probably in pain. But I don't feel there is any amount of reading or class that will prepare him for seeing his wife in pain so I don't push it or care if he is well versed in it, he doesn't have to know anything thats what the doc and nurse is for. But we are weird like that.

Alliebooberz · February 2012

I've been reading birth books to my H. *shrugs* Hopefully that's good enough lol

HalloweenWife · February 2012

GuppyAmy:
After my DH passed out at the hospital tour, our plan is for him not to pass out the day of, the less he knows the better. As a result, he will have a chair and be near my head. The doctors and nurses will help me.

My DH passed out on our hospital tour too!! Though he claims he didn't.

I'm also hoping he just stays upright during the whole birthing process. Not really making him read or watch anything he doesn't want to. He understands what is going to happen so I just need him there for support and to stay up by my head. That is my only stipulation.

salt78 · February 2012

kiarstin:
Nothing, he doesn't have to actually do anything, and a doctor or nurse will keep us updated. I have describe the process, told him certain ways it can go. He knows it could be very long and that I will probably in pain. But I don't feel there is any amount of reading or class that will prepare him for seeing his wife in pain so I don't push it or care if he is well versed in it, he doesn't have to know anything thats what the doc and nurse is for. But we are weird like that.

This is how we are going into it. He knows what could happen. He prefers to stay by my head which is fine with me.

xoladiebug · February 2012

Thanks for the advice ladies. I know that childbirth and preparation primarily fall on the woman's shoulders. Still, sometimes I feel like I'm in this alone when it comes to preparation. I don't know what it is that I expect him to do to prepare. I guess I should just ask him how comfortable he feels about everything and if he feels ready. I will give him props as he was very good in assisting me through my kidney stone last year, which was excruciating!

Babycakes29 · February 2012

B&T5:
If you have Netflix look for any baby movie you can. Unless you have a specific birth experience in mind all a husband can do is hold your leg & count while you push, offer encouragement & do whatever you need him to do (back rubs, get ice, tell people F off or hurry up),

This is what I did. Netflix! They don't have too many options that are currently available but I figured something was better than nothing. And I got videos more so to help with newborn care than labor. I agree with PP that there isn't much he can do because playing the support role just isn't something he's good at. He's also very squeamish and very nervous about this whole thing, so my mom will be the support role person. DH's role is to do whatever I ask and get me whatever I want and he's fully on board with that!!!

kiarstin · February 2012

xoladiebug:
Thanks for the advice ladies. I know that childbirth and preparation primarily fall on the woman's shoulders. Still, sometimes I feel like I'm in this alone when it comes to preparation. I don't know what it is that I expect him to do to prepare. I guess I should just ask him how comfortable he feels about everything and if he feels ready. I will give him props as he was very good in assisting me through my kidney stone last year, which was excruciating!

My husband openly says he is scared of my birth, I oddly am not. I told him he just has to show up and do what I ask. He is scared to see me in pain and not be able to help. I think just letting me know he is afraid helps him deal with it. You are not in this alone just b/c he can't understand, there are many hospital staff to attend to you, and when you need him to being loving tell him if you need him to f*ck off tell him.

wordslikeswords · February 2012

We actually did do a birthing class (the 1 day condensed one) and I think it was good for him to know what is going to happen, but nothing they said for husbands to do to help me was useful in any way. Mostly I've just been telling him things I think will help, and things I think won't help. And making sure he knows that when I'm in pain I really need him to take my attitude with a grain of salt!

LilyPotter218 · February 2012

I've been making him watch births online so he knows what to expect. I wrote out a birth plan that was just for he and I to go over so he is familiar with some things. I spelled out a few things I may need his help with when it's go time, like if they say c-section you need to find out why, have it explained, ask how much of a necessity it is, and if it's not an emergency we need to make the decision not be told what to do... His biggest thing was getting over the idea that we have choices and don't just go in there to be told what to do. Obviously, anything that becomes an emergency he knows to shut up and listen to them

LizzyBlueEyes · February 2012

My H has been very involved with the pregnancy the whole time. There was even a time when he would ask what fruit or veggie she was and what was happening to her that week.

We have watched different birth video together, I have read him some things and we talk every couple days and I tell him things I have read or learned. I am planning an um-medicated birth and we talked about what he can do to help me when the time comes etc. His says his biggest worry is seeing me in pain and not being able to make it stop.

botbot · February 2012

I just created a post about this (sort of). We did take a class last weekend, and up until that point I had DH reading the book "The Birth Partner". He told me I didn't need a doula b/c he would be there for me...until we took the class. Watching the birth video made him admit that he didn't know what he was doing and that he thought labor "was just 12 hours of the woman laying down with her legs spread".

Perhaps there would be a good birth video if you can't take a class?

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