Article: Why French Parents Are Superior

Pesky · February 2012

Interesting. I don't tend to yell either but I admit I have not focused on teaching patience as much as I should. Intriguing theory.

https://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html?mod=lifestyle_newsreel

ETA: And yes, deserved eyeroll at the inflammatory title designed to grab attention. Okay, it worked...

robynlesley · February 2012

Thanks for sharing this article. I found it to be very interesting and nice to learn about the differences.

newbee36 · February 2012

Thanks for posting the link, Pesky. I am not French, but I was certainly raised that way. My parents "nos" were always "nos". I was not allowed to negotiate. Ever. Well, maybe a little bit with my mom. And speaking of authority, I don' remember me or my sister saying any bad disrespectful words to my parents (Not that I never got upset at them or didn't feel like it, but simply because they were my parents and you are supposed to respect them). Coming to US from another country with a very different culture in that respect, and starting with the parenting job here in US, is very confusing for me at moments. Just for comparison: I believe that 95% of the parents in my country have not heard of milestones during the first year. Of course if their kid does not start to walk by 1.5 years or talk by 3 years, they will take it to a doctor, but they don't get worked up by the fact that their LO is 6 months old and it doesn't seat up unsupported yet. On the other hand, seeing a 2 year old, or maybe even 1.5 year old still in diapers, is almost impossible. The biggest difference I see between the kids in Macedonia and the kids here in general is the talking back to their parents, or to older people in general. Back home, there are probably 1/10 doing that. Here there is more like 6/10 (ok, these numbers are my rough estimate).

Of course I am not trying to say which way is better to raise a child. I have not raised a single one yet, just saying here is sooo much different than the way my parents raised me....

Pearly609 · February 2012

newbee36:

Thanks for posting the link, Pesky. I am not French, but I was certainly raised that way. My parents "nos" were always "nos". I was not allowed to negotiate. Ever. Well, maybe a little bit with my mom. And speaking of authority, I don' remember me or my sister saying any bad disrespectful words to my parents (Not that I never got upset at them or didn't feel like it, but simply because they were my parents and you are supposed to respect them). Coming to US from another country with a very different culture in that respect, and starting with the parenting job here in US, is very confusing for me at moments. Just for comparison: I believe that 95% of the parents in my country have not heard of milestones during the first year. Of course if their kid does not start to walk by 1.5 years or talk by 3 years, they will take it to a doctor, but they don't get worked up by the fact that their LO is 6 months old and it doesn't seat up unsupported yet. On the other hand, seeing a 2 year old, or maybe even 1.5 year old still in diapers, is almost impossible. The biggest difference I see between the kids in Macedonia and the kids here in general is the talking back to their parents, or to older people in general. Back home, there are probably 1/10 doing that. Here there is more like 6/10 (ok, these numbers are my rough estimate).

Of course I am not trying to say which way is better to raise a child. I have not raised a single one yet, just saying here is sooo much different than the way my parents raised me....

I was raised the exact same way as you Newbee and I am an American. There was no talking back or disrespect of any kind even to this day. I nor my siblings would ever curse around my parents or elder people. It's just a respect thing. In my community and family this is a big deal. I don't think it's so much where you live but how you choose to parent. I prefer it this way. Saves alot of stress that already comes with the territory. Open communication and bounderies are key.

stever · February 2012

Pearly609:
newbee36:

Thanks for posting the link, Pesky. I am not French, but I was certainly raised that way. My parents "nos" were always "nos". I was not allowed to negotiate. Ever. Well, maybe a little bit with my mom. And speaking of authority, I don' remember me or my sister saying any bad disrespectful words to my parents (Not that I never got upset at them or didn't feel like it, but simply because they were my parents and you are supposed to respect them). Coming to US from another country with a very different culture in that respect, and starting with the parenting job here in US, is very confusing for me at moments. Just for comparison: I believe that 95% of the parents in my country have not heard of milestones during the first year. Of course if their kid does not start to walk by 1.5 years or talk by 3 years, they will take it to a doctor, but they don't get worked up by the fact that their LO is 6 months old and it doesn't seat up unsupported yet. On the other hand, seeing a 2 year old, or maybe even 1.5 year old still in diapers, is almost impossible. The biggest difference I see between the kids in Macedonia and the kids here in general is the talking back to their parents, or to older people in general. Back home, there are probably 1/10 doing that. Here there is more like 6/10 (ok, these numbers are my rough estimate).

Of course I am not trying to say which way is better to raise a child. I have not raised a single one yet, just saying here is sooo much different than the way my parents raised me....

I was raised the exact same way as you Newbee and I am an American. There was no talking back or disrespect of any kind even to this day. I nor my siblings would ever curse around my parents or elder people. It's just a respect thing. In my community and family this is a big deal. I don't think it's so much where you live but how you choose to parent. I prefer it this way. Saves alot of stress that already comes with the territory. Open communication and bounderies are key.

My parents were fairly hippyish but I still didn't talk back, swear or act up. I still can't swear in front of my parents, or anyone's parents for that matter. Funny, since I have a mouth like a sailor.

Re the article, I think it's a bunch of bunk. I've seen badly behaved French children and I don't think French parents have the market cornered on effective discipline or sleep training methods.

newbee36 · February 2012

stever:

Re the article, I think it's a bunch of bunk. I've seen badly behaved French children and I don't think French parents have the market cornered on effective discipline or sleep training methods.

Agreed, Stever! And there aren't really prescribed successful methods for raising your kid either. I am just realizing how the stress of parenting is placed differently here and back home.

vanverth · February 2012

stever:
Pearly609:
newbee36:

Thanks for posting the link, Pesky. I am not French, but I was certainly raised that way. My parents "nos" were always "nos". I was not allowed to negotiate. Ever. Well, maybe a little bit with my mom. And speaking of authority, I don' remember me or my sister saying any bad disrespectful words to my parents (Not that I never got upset at them or didn't feel like it, but simply because they were my parents and you are supposed to respect them). Coming to US from another country with a very different culture in that respect, and starting with the parenting job here in US, is very confusing for me at moments. Just for comparison: I believe that 95% of the parents in my country have not heard of milestones during the first year. Of course if their kid does not start to walk by 1.5 years or talk by 3 years, they will take it to a doctor, but they don't get worked up by the fact that their LO is 6 months old and it doesn't seat up unsupported yet. On the other hand, seeing a 2 year old, or maybe even 1.5 year old still in diapers, is almost impossible. The biggest difference I see between the kids in Macedonia and the kids here in general is the talking back to their parents, or to older people in general. Back home, there are probably 1/10 doing that. Here there is more like 6/10 (ok, these numbers are my rough estimate).

Of course I am not trying to say which way is better to raise a child. I have not raised a single one yet, just saying here is sooo much different than the way my parents raised me....

I was raised the exact same way as you Newbee and I am an American. There was no talking back or disrespect of any kind even to this day. I nor my siblings would ever curse around my parents or elder people. It's just a respect thing. In my community and family this is a big deal. I don't think it's so much where you live but how you choose to parent. I prefer it this way. Saves alot of stress that already comes with the territory. Open communication and bounderies are key.

My parents were fairly hippyish but I still didn't talk back, swear or act up. I still can't swear in front of my parents, or anyone's parents for that matter. Funny, since I have a mouth like a sailor.
Re the article, I think it's a bunch of bunk. I've seen badly behaved French children and I don't think French parents have the market cornered on effective discipline or sleep training methods.

Lets ask Peppernut and see if she agrees with the article.

Pesky · February 2012

vanverth:

Lets ask Peppernut and see if she agrees with the article.

Funny -- I was totally thinking of Peppernut when I read this. I was also not brought up in a permissive household -- heck, we "ma'am"ed and "sir"ed our parents along with everyone else -- but I do see a lot of lax parenting with no limits or no consequences. Makes me feel better too about wanting to read MY books and not be on the ground playing with them all the time.

urbanflowerpot · February 2012

stever:
Pearly609:
newbee36:

Thanks for posting the link, Pesky. I am not French, but I was certainly raised that way. My parents "nos" were always "nos". I was not allowed to negotiate. Ever. Well, maybe a little bit with my mom. And speaking of authority, I don' remember me or my sister saying any bad disrespectful words to my parents (Not that I never got upset at them or didn't feel like it, but simply because they were my parents and you are supposed to respect them). Coming to US from another country with a very different culture in that respect, and starting with the parenting job here in US, is very confusing for me at moments. Just for comparison: I believe that 95% of the parents in my country have not heard of milestones during the first year. Of course if their kid does not start to walk by 1.5 years or talk by 3 years, they will take it to a doctor, but they don't get worked up by the fact that their LO is 6 months old and it doesn't seat up unsupported yet. On the other hand, seeing a 2 year old, or maybe even 1.5 year old still in diapers, is almost impossible. The biggest difference I see between the kids in Macedonia and the kids here in general is the talking back to their parents, or to older people in general. Back home, there are probably 1/10 doing that. Here there is more like 6/10 (ok, these numbers are my rough estimate).

Of course I am not trying to say which way is better to raise a child. I have not raised a single one yet, just saying here is sooo much different than the way my parents raised me....

I was raised the exact same way as you Newbee and I am an American. There was no talking back or disrespect of any kind even to this day. I nor my siblings would ever curse around my parents or elder people. It's just a respect thing. In my community and family this is a big deal. I don't think it's so much where you live but how you choose to parent. I prefer it this way. Saves alot of stress that already comes with the territory. Open communication and bounderies are key.

My parents were fairly hippyish but I still didn't talk back, swear or act up. I still can't swear in front of my parents, or anyone's parents for that matter. Funny, since I have a mouth like a sailor.
Re the article, I think it's a bunch of bunk. I've seen badly behaved French children and I don't think French parents have the market cornered on effective discipline or sleep training methods.

Ditto this (except my sailor mouth is retired). We have family friends who think their way is the French way and we (as in DH and me) are doing it...not right. I already have this book on hold at the library. I just prefer to read it and already know when they start suggesting things. - if you found this interesting there is another article circulating: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/debra-ollivier/bringing-up-bebe_b_1224589.html

KerryHS · February 2012

Eye roll to the title, but I liked the article. Whatever the approach, I think the real secret is making sure that the parents are in charge and not the children. However, no how amazing a parent you are there are just times your children are going to have a melt down. Stick out tongue

Article: Why French Parents Are Superior

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