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D.C. Area Babies
QOTD
I know I'm not the one in charge of this today, but this came up in conversation with my husband recently.
How much does your husband know about your nest/bump life? Does he know how much you share? What does he think about it? Has he requested that anything be off limits?
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Re: QOTD
I think that, in his head, he probably realizes how much I share... While I don't think he would necessarily be happy about it (he's WAAAAY more private than I am), he knows this is my outlet.
Some of the stuff I post on here is strictly off-limits for discussion with IRL people (although, he pretty much knows that I tell my BFF everything - she knew I was pregnant with DD before he did, which he still doesn't know, LOL...). For example, IRL, I'm not supposed to be mentioning that I'm taking Clomid. He doesn't want family to be too intrusive about our fertility plans. I've also mentioned on here (not the baby board, but the Nest more generally) that I have a lot of ADHD type issues... he'd probably be irked that I'm sharing some of my personal mental health type stuff out on the internetz, even though it's not like a super huge issue on a daily basis for me.
DH knows that I get pretty specific about issues with parenting here, and he frequently asks if I've gotten nestie input on x issue or y issue. He knows I've shared about PPD here and actually he credits this board with helping me "get better," lol.
I try to make sure that I don't post anything that I would be upset by him reading, so even when I do DH-bashing posts, it tends not to be things he doesn't know about. I don't feel like I'm sanitizing necessarily, but that I am just being realistic. We share our computers at home and it would be pretty easy for him to stumble upon a post because I don't close windows consistently.
He has asked that I not share photos of LO, and I have done so, except for on LO's birthday (I checked in with DH about it).
I will relay some of the posts (topics, and answers) that were interesting on a given day, and sometimes let him know that I am asking for advice about certain topics, either parenting-related or otherwise.
I think he'd probably be a little irked about some of the things I disclose here (issues with ILs, random flareups with DH, etc.). He is definitely more private about these things, and wouldn't even discuss them with his IRL friends. For me, a lot of my friends are at different stages in their lives (e.g., not married/no kids) so it's nice to be able to talk about these things with other people going through the same thing.
ETA: Sometimes DH actually asks me to post here with questions! He definitely values the advice we get.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
He knows that I visit the boards often and thinks I get some of my "crazy ideas" off here (not true). I have no idea how much he thinks I share or what his thoughts on that are. I think he knows it's helped me a lot, esp.during the early parenting months. He has made no such requests.
DH knows I have a community here, he teases me about it every once in a while I am certain he could easily check into what I am posting, pictures of kids and an obvious screen name, but as far as I know, he doesn't. I don't DH bash though and I tell him that our marriage struggles are generally off limits, so I don't think he minds. And he appreciates the advice I get here a lot.
ETA: DH has also asked me to post on occasion as well. Particularly with DD when we were learning the parenting ropes.
DH knows that I'm constantly interacting with my internet friends. He even sometimes asks me to pose questions (like asking for contractor recommendations, restaurant ideas, etc.) He is a MUCH more private person than me so I try to respect that with my posts. I generally try not to post things about him and stick to posts about myself, my feelings, etc. I also try to use the "litmus test" of how he would feel about reading things that I write. I probably sometimes still slip and over share but in general, I don't think it's something that is a big issue. It's not like I'm doing a blog about our sex life or something like that.
He knows that I post but I don't really think he knows how much I share. I don't talk about specifics too much.
He's never mentioned anything off limits. He's so easy going that he really doesn't have too many opinions about things.
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
pretty much this exactly. sometimes I send DH the link to threads that I've found helpful, but he says they take forever to read because he can't figure out the acronyms, lol. we've gotten so much good advice and important recommendations (from car seat installation, to doctors, to realtors) that he's really appreciative of the boards.
He knows I'm on here a lot & he knows that I've gotten information via the knot, nest & bump that have really helped us at different points. He's OK with it as long as I keep photos of us & sprout off the internet. He's OK if I post a special picture (like halloween) for a few hours, but would probably prefer if that didn't happen at all.
He's not as much as a private person IRL as a paranoid person re: internet. And, because of his job/field, he's got some valid points about trying to remain as anonymous as possible (which, I could probably do a better job at but oh well).
He values the fact that I have this board - like everyone else, he's glad that I have a community that's already "been there, done that" recently and can help guide us because we are often both pretty clueless. I think it's amazing that I can ask a group of moms for advice and get honest and encouraging answers. Like mssaint's hubby, he credits it for giving me my sanity when i'm fizzling rapidly.
I keep our arguments private because, as mentioned before, i use the litmus test of 'how would i feel if he posted about this". I'm a private person when it comes to relationships and, until now, had been private about my inner struggles - becoming a mother, however, has made me realize that it really DOES 'take a village' and you are all my village ;-)
This. DH is definitely WAY more private about family-related matters...but I have to have an outlet to process some things. Also, LOL re:pp about telling BFF about pregnancy before DH. With #2 I was so shocked when I found out (and stressed since I was recently unemployed) that I called a friend first and asked for her help in coming up with a fun way to tell DH. He still has no clue.
This, exactly. He poked fun at me when I was just on TN pre-DD. But, now with all the baby-related suggestions, advice, experiences, and a place to talk to people on the same page/at the same stage he really gets it now.
DH knows I read the boards and was really thankful for the help I got early on with DS, especially bfing advice. He's also always really happy when I ask a question about something (sleep, etc) and everybody gives an answer (often something like don't worry about it) that he's been trying to tell me all along!
It bothers him a lot more when I put what he considers an unflattering picture of him on our blog, and now when I take a pic he'll even say, don't put that on the blog!