Special Needs

So sad, hubby changed his mind & wants to get fixed.

It was our plan to have two kids. Actually I want two he was always fine with just one, but he agreed to it. Well now that Cody is going to be 1 month and he's still in the NICU and we know he will need a kidney transplant when he's older, my husband said to me that he wants to make a appointment to get fixed. I said, "What!! I thought we were going to try in a couple of years for another baby?" He told me one is enough, it's tooo stressful with all the problems of Cody's kidneys and all the Dr. apt. and specialist we will be going to. He said he can't go through all this stress again. I was sooooo sad but understood, because this has been the MOST stressful last few month I have every had. But I'm still sad that my son will not have any siblings close in age. I do have a 16 year old son that lives with his father in MN now. Growing up he was always said because he wanted a brother or sister. It made me sad but I was never married to give him any siblings. Well I told myself when I got married I want two kids close in age like my sisters and I. I can't imaging bringing up another boy with no close siblings again. Am I being selfish??

Re: So sad, hubby changed his mind & wants to get fixed.

  • Aw.... I'm sorry.  Give it some time though.  My husband and I had a very similar conversation in the hospital after my sons 3rd heart surgery...  Time has a way of healing wounds like this though.  And I agree with pp - I don't know of any urologist who would a agree to do the surgery on a married man without spousal permission.  Maybe you two could agree to drop the topic of more kids until a specific time in the future... 2 years, 3 years, whatever and then re-evaluate the situation then.

    Good luck to you!

    Hannah

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