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Baby Shower question...

BeagleMom2012BeagleMom2012 member
in 2nd Trimester

I got invited to a baby shower for a girl I've never met. She is the daughter of my DH's uncle's wife. His uncle has only been married to this woman for two years, and his stepdaughter was 21 when they got married, so it's not like he's been a father figure to her. I saw the girl at their wedding but never actually met her. When they sent out invites, they sent one to my mother in law, and put my name on that one.

I don't know if I was included on the invite just to be polite, or if they just want lots of gifts. Either way, I don't feel as though I should be obligated to go or buy a gift. I don't plan on inviting this girl to my baby shower, because I think it's weird to invite people you've never met.

Thoughts? Is it rude to not get this girl a gift?

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Re: Baby Shower question...

  • jlgregory75jlgregory75 member
    I don't think it's rude not to attend or buy a gift for a total stranger. Your name could have been added as an after thought when they decided to invite your MIL.
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  • tifdaski84tifdaski84 member

    I say don't go and don't send a gift.  If you were invited, I bet there were A LOT of people invited and she won't be surprised if she gets a few declines.

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  • mommygrams0730mommygrams0730 member
    is your MIL going? could you just "go in" on a gift with her. something really small? i probably wouldn't go either and it probably wouldn't be a big deal to not get her a gift, but you could do something small with your MIL if you wanted to save face.


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  • joshandpandajoshandpanda member

    imagemommy grams:
    is your MIL going? could you just "go in" on a gift with her. something really small? i probably wouldn't go either and it probably wouldn't be a big deal to not get her a gift, but you could do something small with your MIL if you wanted to save face.

    this is what I was thinking... just for the thought of it... 

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  • Josie22Josie22
    My MIL's family is big on the "invite everyone to everything". It's just cultural for them. If they have an event, they want tons of family there. So I get invited to things for people I don't know a lot. Like even for my SIL's friends. I just skip it if I don't know them. I've never heard anyone say bad about it. They expect that not everyone will be there.
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  • BellaElla79BellaElla79
    I personally think they are just trying to include you. If you don't want to go, politely decline. I don't think she was trying to be rude or gift grabby.
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  • theseawordtheseaword member

    It's not rude to decline. They may have only invited you so you wouldn't feel excluded.



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  • cmurphy09cmurphy09 member

    I was in the same situation as your step-cousin inlaw... my dad wanted to throw me a shower, wasn't really expecting one & I ended up cancelling it anyway for numerous reasons, mainly my father's never ending drama... But it included inviting a bunch of people, whom I am related to but don't really have anything to do with. Which is one of the reasons I cancelled, 1. it was uncomfortable & felt I was being rude. And 2. they didn't rsvp anyway...

    Anyhow this could have happened for a few reasons, maybe she wants to get to know you guys better & incorporate others to share the joy of bringing in their first child. Maybe she doesn't have that many decent ppl in her life to share this special time with & reaching out...

    Whatever the reason may be, I know not having a baby shower is really bumming me out but mainly because I'm unable to share my joy with others.

    With that said, I don't think a gift is necessary unless you want to & think something small or a card would be nice :)

     

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  • Sawyerplus1Sawyerplus1 member
    If you aren't going to the shower (which I probably wouldn't) then,no, I don't think you need to get her anything. If you do decide to go, then yes, I would pick up a little something, or go in on a gift with MIL. 
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  • robsbride!robsbride!

    let them know you are not going and no gift...it would be different if you were close but you aren't so I wouldn't feel any obligation

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  • dreambig527dreambig527 member

    There were people at my bridal shower that I had never met- but my FIL was close to.  they seemed excited to be there and to meet me finally - and it didn't feel weird at all.

    If you're not comfotable though, then there's no reason to go.  Can you just chip in for a small gift with your MIL- or someone else that was invited?  If not, I'd say just skip it and send your appologies for not going.  They'll get over it.

     

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  • dcariatgirldcariatgirl
    It is definitely not rude to decline. I was invited to a girls shower that I had never met and when I declined the actual party, I got another invite to her online baby shower ...tacky! I didn't participate in either and she is not invited to mine. 
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