July 2012 Moms

People who break the Cardinal Rule

Even if a woman is clearly pregnant, I don't say anything about how she's expecting unless I know her and know for a FACT that she is. If I see a woman I don't know, I don't say anything. I thought this was the rule!

TWO people in the last few days have commented on me being pregnant. They were both strangers in lines with me. I am showing a tiny little bit, but I look a little chunky instead of a little pregnant. I'm certainly not in any kind of socially acceptable size of pregnancy that would be unmistakable. Thank goodness they're right, because it would have been so embarrassing to say "Oh, no I'm not, just a little fat..."

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Re: People who break the Cardinal Rule

  • YUP!!  Loved this post.

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  • I don't know what goes through peoples minds when they say stuff like this out loud. You would think people would just know better.

     

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  • This is true and it happens to me but silently, I notice women, usually very old women staring at my belly for a while then they notice I am watching and they look away. It happens mainly at the grocery store, sometimes it's a quick stare as they walk by me... So funny I always laugh inside...
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  • I am 100% with you.  Until someone is 9 months or I get confirmation I won't say anything.  Three weeks ago we went out to dinner and my husband got a glass of wine.  When I said I just wanted water the waiter asked if I was "under construction" Not only have I never heard of that I thought it was ridiculous. A) I wasn't showing yet and B) Does he ask anyone who doesn't order a drink? It was just weird.
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  • imageAlauren4:
    This is true and it happens to me but silently, I notice women, usually very old women staring at my belly for a while then they notice I am watching and they look away. It happens mainly at the grocery store, sometimes it's a quick stare as they walk by me... So funny I always laugh inside...

     

    Yea. I noticed people staring too. 

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  • Well, at least I am pregnant now when people stare and play the 'pregnant or fat?' game in their heads...I can not deny that also do that and wonder at some people's shapes...however, I never, ever, say anything. 

    On the other hand, before I lost almost 30 lbs I would be asked at least once every two months how far along I was..and I would say -- nope...just fat!  

    It sucked.

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  • I caught the young cashier staring the other day, but she never said anything. Lol it made me laugh. The worst though comes after you have the baby. A week after DD was here I had my neighbor look at me and say don't worry you always carry extra weight in you tummy with a girl, it will come off eventually. Ummm thanks? Then when DD was about 4 months I had lost a ton of weight by exercising and dieting. Of course, one day my shirt pulled when DD was grabbing me and some woman came over and said congrats two under two. Umm no just have some baby weight left. People are so rude so be prepared!
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  • someone asked me once and I said "No. Im fat." their face was awesome

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  • I had the same thing. I am FOR SURE pregnant when I stand up. But I got someone commenting on my pregnancy while I was sitting the other day. I felt like that woman was VERY ballsy. 
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  • I thought the cashier at the grocery store yesterday might say something as I was purchasing my alcohol-free Chardonnay.  Wisely, she kept her mouth shut.  Why do people risk offending other people by asking something like that?
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  • Megs, under construction? never heard of that. sooo rude.
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  • Some people seriously have balls. I will NEVER forget the face of the woman who broke the rule with me. DD was 6 weeks old and I was shopping at Bath and Body Works. Let me just say that after 6 weeks I no longer had the post-pregnancy pouch, just a tiny little pooch that I was still working on and I fit into my normal clothes. I was checking out, HOLDING MY 6 WEEK OLD BABY, and the cashier goes, "Oh, when are you due?" Being almost completely certain that I heard her wrong, because no one in their right mind says that to someone who doesn't look 9 months pregnant (like you said), and because I was holding my newborn baby, I just said, "Come again?" with a confused look. She said, AGAIN, while pointing at my stomach, "When is your baby due?"

    I was so incredibly dumbfounded I literally stood there for a good 30 seconds just staring at her in disbelief. I was furious, upset and emberassed. I had worked so hard and I thought that I actually looked halfway decent since having DD. My self-esteem was shattered. I was so incredibly pissed off I put my wallet back in my purse, threw the rest of my items on the counter and said "I'm not pregnant, thanks. You can keep this crap I don't even want it."

    I will never forget it. I told my friend about it as soon as I left and she was as dumbfounded as I was. People are so. utterly. stupid.
    Tara
    "Understanding this first, that no prophecy of scripture is made by private interpretation. For prophecy came not by the will of man at any time: but the holy men of God spoke, inspired by the Holy Ghost." Peter 2:1:20
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  • You'd think people would be better about this - especially women.  I had a lot of friends who were asked when they're due when they were out running errands with their NEWBORNS. Use logic, people - if a woman has a bit of a belly and a sub-10-pound baby, she is not likely pregnant (and showing) again quite yet.  lol
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  • My professor was trying SO hard not to ask me if I was pregnant! I sit in the front row of his class which meet twice a week. I would catch him staring as I walked in and out of the room. I finally told him before class one day. He seemed really relieved! I'm still taking classes and it's so funny to me that most of the looks or comments I get are at school. I'm in college, it's not like pregnancy doesn't happen to those still in school!
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  • It's weird for me lately because I've gone to a few birthday parties for nieces and nephews, and my family have apparently started to tell their families, who I have never met before.  I show up, and the in-laws of my in-laws congratulate me before I even introduce myself. 
  • imageohtara:
    Some people seriously have balls. I will NEVER forget the face of the woman who broke the rule with me. DD was 6 weeks old and I was shopping at Bath and Body Works. Let me just say that after 6 weeks I no longer had the post-pregnancy pouch, just a tiny little pooch that I was still working on and I fit into my normal clothes. I was checking out, HOLDING MY 6 WEEK OLD BABY, and the cashier goes, "Oh, when are you due?" Being almost completely certain that I heard her wrong, because no one in their right mind says that to someone who doesn't look 9 months pregnant (like you said), and because I was holding my newborn baby, I just said, "Come again?" with a confused look. She said, AGAIN, while pointing at my stomach, "When is your baby due?"

    I was so incredibly dumbfounded I literally stood there for a good 30 seconds just staring at her in disbelief. I was furious, upset and emberassed. I had worked so hard and I thought that I actually looked halfway decent since having DD. My self-esteem was shattered. I was so incredibly pissed off I put my wallet back in my purse, threw the rest of my items on the counter and said "I'm not pregnant, thanks. You can keep this crap I don't even want it."

    I will never forget it. I told my friend about it as soon as I left and she was as dumbfounded as I was. People are so. utterly. stupid.

    This is awesome. I feel like if more of us did stuff like this people woudl start to get a clue about pregnancy ettiquette.

    TTC since October 2009
    2 failed IUIs with Clomid
    IVF #1, ER 10/29/2011
    ET 11/3/2011
    One embryo transferred, four frozen
    11/12/2011, BFP, 11/13/2011, BFP, 11/14/2011, BFP
    First Beta 11/14/2011, 499
    Second Beta 11/16/2011, 893
    Third Beta 11/18/2011, 1510

    Lost my dear husband, October 3, 2012. You are the bear of my heart dear, and nothing can take that away.

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  • People are so horrible!

    I had a miscarriage in August and, on that day, my husband and I decided to run a few small errands to get our minds off of what was going on. I was, of course, a total mess. I was about 9 weeks along and wearing an empire waist dress, but certainly didn't "look" pregnant (I always have a little tummy pooch). Anyway, the guy helping us at the counter was foreign and, I assume lacking in some customary social graces, and pointed to my belly and asked "when are you due?"

    I have never in my life been asked this question EVEN though the tummy pooch is always there. I was HORRIFIED. I almost lost it in the store, but held it together to get out of there ASAP. My husband was livid.

    Seriously... the day we find out about a miscarriage? I almost told the guy just to make him feel bad, but I don't think I could have put the words together.

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