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November 2011 Moms
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Just checking...

mama&babymama&baby member
in November 2011 Moms

So I just sent MIL an email that I think will quickly (and painlessly..hopefully) resolve the issue... but I'm just curious as to what you all think/your experiences.

So I was in the hospital this week and went rather suddenly (ER trip) so thank god my ILs live nearby and were able to pick LO up from the hospital in the middle of the night. They didn't have a lot of his stuff and ended up keeping him for two nights (including the first night I was in the hospital). The second night was bath night and since they didn't have a tub my MIL got in naked with DS to bathe him. Even though I would have like to have been asked first... OK I can see doing that because of the situation. However today it was brought up and FIL brought up bathing DS in the future and he said there was no need to bring DS's other tub over since he was happy bathing with his grandma. Well... I don't know how I feel about continuing to do that... I myself have never bathed with LO and neither has DH. I kinda hinted to DH that I wasn't comfortable with it but didn't say it outright b/c I know he will take it personally that I have an issue with his parents. There is NOTHING fishy going on with them and I'm NOT worried about sexual abuse or anything like that I'm just not comfortable with it for some reason (one being it's not a same-sex shower situation w/ MIL and DS and that I think it's safer to use the baby bathtub). 

So I emailed my MIL and said "oh I don't know if DH mentioned it to you but we will be bringing the baby bathtub over this weekend.. we want consistency w/ LO and he takes bathes in his baby bathtub not with us" etc and mixed it in with some other things I wanted to show her.....

Did I handle this properly? Have any of you had this issue?

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Re: Just checking...

  • ngarciabyungarciabyu member
    My parents and my IL's live no where near us, but I am with you on this one.  I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it.  I think you handled it fine.  I don't know everything you said but I would have emphasized that I wanted it for the safety aspect of the situation and consistency, just so they were sure I wasn't insinuating that I thought they were being lewd in any way, shape, or form.  Does you DH agree with you?
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  • mama&babymama&baby member

    imagengarciabyu:
    My parents and my IL's live no where near us, but I am with you on this one.  I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it.  I think you handled it fine.  I don't know everything you said but I would have emphasized that I wanted it for the safety aspect of the situation and consistency, just so they were sure I wasn't insinuating that I thought they were being lewd in any way, shape, or form.  Does you DH agree with you?

    I think he kinda does but he wouldn't say so.... he was the one who brought up bringing over the tub to my ILs and then my FIL kinda shot him down and he didn't say anything. But I know if I say something to him that he will take it like I have an issue with THEM bathing with him, which isn't the case. I have an issue with anyone other than DH or I bathing with him. The safety issue is also a big concern for me since I won't be there to watch it happen

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  • RedCamaroRedCamaro member
    I haven't had this issue, but I think your excuse sounded good. I personally would have said I felt that it would be safer if LO was bathed in his tub (holding onto LO + soap + enough water for an adult to bathe in + hard tub to hit yourself/LO's head = scared momma bear). I hope it goes smoothly for you!
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