Pregnant after a Loss

I'm a little sad I wont get a shower

With my shower for DS, he was almost 2 weeks old and in the NICU. I had a hard time enjoying it because I wanted to be with him at the hospital. I've always wanted a shower where I'm pregnant, playing games and getting pictures with my belly.

I was so grateful for the gifts and support, but my heart was broken that my baby wasn't at his own shower in any way. I know I sound so selfish, but it's just been on my mind a bit.

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Re: I'm a little sad I wont get a shower

  • I had only 4 people come to my shower   and my whole family is out of town so they couldn't come and then I had some very very kind internet friends throw me a virtual shower much to my surprise...We didnt play any games or anything like that either....I dont think it sounds selfish {{{HUGS}}}
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  • I would have a shower anyway!!  I am such an etiquette police when it comes to things (like seriously, I love proper etiquette.. I have books on it) but if I got an invite to your shower I wouldn't side eye it.  I would realize how you really didn't get to have a "real shower" the 1st time around and would happily come to the one for this baby.

    If you are worried about seeming gift grabby you could make it a theme shower.  Only requesting diapers or maybe children's books as gifts.  Don't register anywhere.

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  • We're not near anyone and I only know three people here. I'm really ok with it. I know my parents and DH's parents will send out gifts and I am sure other family members will too. 

    I wont be traveling in my pregnancy (other than the one I have planned next month, only 4.5hr car trip) unless it's an emergency.  

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  • I don't think you sound selfish at all. I can totally understand why you would feel that way. A lot of people throw "sprinkles" instead of a shower for the 2nd. I'm kinda sad that I won't get a shower again despite having a real shower. LOL. It was just so nice to have friends and family around and it was amazing that everyone was excited to celebrate Landon's arrival.
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  • imagechloebeth930:

    I would have a shower anyway!!  I am such an etiquette police when it comes to things (like seriously, I love proper etiquette.. I have books on it) but if I got an invite to your shower I wouldn't side eye it.  I would realize how you really didn't get to have a "real shower" the 1st time around and would happily come to the one for this baby.

    If you are worried about seeming gift grabby you could make it a theme shower.  Only requesting diapers or maybe children's books as gifts.  Don't register anywhere.

    The children's books idea is really neat. I like that a lot! 

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  • imagephancykat:
    I'm just the opposite...the thought of a shower throws me into a panic. My family is a couple hours away, and they want to throw me one. Right now my excuse it that it's too late for me to travel. I just want to have a little "meet the baby" party after he's here without any presents or anything, but I don't think they're going to let me get away with that.

    This is me. The idea of baby stuff before the baby send me into anxiety mode. I've forbidden my family to throw a shower because I am afraid I will have to hide everything in a closet again if something happens to the baby. 

    I can understand where you are coming from though as far as wanting one because as much as I don't want one, I am a little sad too. I think that if someone offers to throw you one, just accept and don't think anything of it. Maybe someone around you be thinking the same way you are and want you to have one where you can relax and have fun? 

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  • I completely understand why you would want another shower since you kind of missed out on your first. The book idea is a great idea too! Actually, this board should have done kids books for the Elfster swap instead of socks! That would be so fun!
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  • I don't think you sound selfish at all- it's a milestone of pregnancy!  ::HUGS::  Sorry you're feeling down about it.

    image image imageimageimage  

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  • I am sorry that you are feeling down, I don't blame you at all.  Having a shower is something I think many moms look forward to and when things didn't go as planned that last time I think it's to be expected that you feel like you do now. 
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  • ((Big Hugs)) If I knew you IRL, I would totally throw a shower for you! You deserve to do it up the right way!
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  • imagebuckeyebaby814:
    I don't think you sound selfish at all- it's a milestone of pregnancy!  ::HUGS::  Sorry you're feeling down about it.

    I agree...  ((hugs))

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  • imagechloebeth930:

    If you are worried about seeming gift grabby you could make it a theme shower.  Only requesting diapers or maybe children's books as gifts.  Don't register anywhere.

     RE: "Don't register anywhere." 

    I plan on registering because I want that 10% off coupon to pick up everything I need. I don't plan on people using it - I just need the discount because I had DD 5 years ago and didn't think we were having anymore, so I donated or gave away everything except some of my favorite outfits for her. The two things I did keep I just looked up and found out were recalled 3 years ago. So is it completely against etiquette to register for the discount?  

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  • imageSweetTurnip:

    imageorange_roses:

     RE: "Don't register anywhere." 

    I plan on registering because I want that 10% off coupon to pick up everything I need. I don't plan on people using it - I just need the discount because I had DD 5 years ago and didn't think we were having anymore, so I donated or gave away everything except some of my favorite outfits for her. The two things I did keep I just looked up and found out were recalled 3 years ago. So is it completely against etiquette to register for the discount?  

    No, you can totally do that. It's not like the company isn't still getting your money and if you don't tell anyone about it (you can usually make it private so people can't even search for it) then it's not rude or greedy or anything. Go for it!

    i already started one at BRU for the coupon!
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  • Im sorry that your first LO didnt get to attend his shower. But I dont think anyone would bat an eye if you had another one for this LO.

    The book idea is great, I did that for a girlfriends shower theme and it worked great. We mentioned that it didn't matter if they were new or well loved, but to please put a little note in the front for baby. That way, as she grows up to read all these great books, she'll see how many people loved her from the very beginning. I say, go for it.

     

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