So this was a while back, but one of my relatives was pregnant with her second baby. She was planning a small get together for herself, her close friends, and her family that was in her area. She did not have a baby shower for her first baby.
She sent "invites" over facebook. What she said in her invite was "You are not required to bring gifts as we have everything from baby #1 [she has two girls, so clothes and girly things were handmedowns], but if you absolutely are set on giving us something, we could defiantly use diapers. But you could get us whatever if you absolutely want to get us something."
Does this seem gift-grabby to you? I didn't think it was at the time, but now seeing a few posts on here about being gift grabby, I'm not sure...
FWIW, I didn't make it to the get together, but MH and I did get her a pack of diapers.