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Military Families
Not having a baby shower?
Hey All!
Hubby and I are stationed in Alaska and I'm still deciding if I want my sisters to throw me a shower back home. I'm on the fence because it will cost us about 1,200 to get there and then I have to take a week off without pay in order to make the time to go home. I think I may upset the family if I don't come back, and I think maybe in the future I will regret not going back for my shower.... I know showers are a luxury not a necessity, but I'm torn!!
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Re: Not having a baby shower?
I did not have a family baby shower. I was on the opposite coast, working, and about to quit my job and PCS. I had too much on my mind and it wasn't that important to me at the time. My family was bummed, but understood.
A small part of me regrets this decision because there's a blank spot on the shower page in DD's baby book now. This sounds really silly, I know.
CJ 05/29/2013
::headdesk:: No, you should not spend $2000 to get a bunch of stuff you will have to pay to either ship or fly home with you. That $2000 will come in very handy when you actually have the baby. Debt spirals out of control very easily. I wouldn't spend that kind of cash that I didn't have just to have something to put in the baby book.
This is not sound logic.
We are stationed 3000 away and I have no idea what is going to happen in regards to a baby shower. I have no plans to go home and honestly I don't really want all the ooing and ahhing. I think I am going to register and then people can choose to purchase something if they feel like it.
My husband and I PCS from my hometown when I was three months pregnant so we knew we would NOT be back if they were to throw us a baby shower. The cost to go back home is roughly the same as you since I'm from Hawaii. My family is planning on ordering things from my registry and having it shipped to me or I would have to pick it up at the store. A few of my friends from back home has done that and it was easy to pick up the items.
I am sad that this is my first baby and I won't have a baby shower with my family but luckily I have a few friends where we live now who will be throwing a baby shower for me. I don't expect a lot from them but I am happy nonetheless that I'll still have a baby shower.
If you have a handful of friends and your husband's coworkers then you could have a baby shower in Alaska.
For the average person, spending $1,200.00 dollars to attend a shower would be a terrible move.
Unless you have an unlimited supply of money and are not in any way,shape, or form in debt or otherwise financially challenged,,you will lose big time if you fly all the way there for a shower.
Unless your family/friends plan on buying every single tiny thing your LO will ever need between now and toddlerhood, the cost of tickets + the loss of work hours + miscellaneous travel expenses will cost you far more than the gifts you receive are worth. Not to say that the family aspect is any less important, BUT, you're building a new family right now and you have to be prepared for them. Showers are nice, but they are not mandatory. More than a few military spouses will go without baby showers, bridal showers, and family traditions because they are stationed so far away from family.
I agree with PP...Skype would work. It may not be the same, but its the closest you'll get without draining your bank account. And your family shouldn't be upset that you can't fly across the country at the drop of a dime...they really shouldn't automatically assume that you would be able to, seeing as you have a baby to save up for. Unless you find some amazing deals on plane tickets, I'd pass.
And going into debt to go to a party is beyond irresponsible.
Edit: Why don't you ask them if they'd be ok with having a "meet the baby" get together next time you and DH are able to fly home?
I would look at your overall finances. I flew home for a shower and to see my family before I had my DD. I was working full time and had the funds to pay for my ticket and it wasn't overly expensive. My husband didn't come it wasn't worth spending the extra money for a ticket for him when it was a quick trip anyways.
If you are tight on money I would save your money and maybe try to fly back home once your baby is born and have a mini shower then for everyone to meet your baby.