hospital stays.. 1 son at home.

yourmomwreckedmybike · February 2012

I am in the hospital with DC#2, he has a bad infection in his blood. We are here for 10-14 days. My mom and inlaws will be taking care of DC#1 when DH is at work.

Postpartum hormone, and the demand of a newborn, PLUS having a sick newborn and not being able to be home with DH and DC1 is really taking a toll on me. I'm so scared that this is going to negatively effect DC1 and it will be irreversible. I don't really know where to look for information, or what information to look for.

From an AP viewpoint, what can I do to maintain my relationship with DC1? I feel like by the time we are able to come home, DC1 will be angry with me, or our relationship will be strained. Am I over thinking this, or is it a legitimate concern?

Jelliebean1982 · February 2012

(((hugs))) The best thing you can do is leave your older son in loving arms, which you have. There are many excellent parents who have had to do the same thing as you in these difficult situations. Is there a way that you can Skype with your older son from the hospital each night if you can't see him? I hope your newborn gets better soon and your family can be together at home.

jshf · February 2012

I was in the hospital only 3 days and I was wreck, so I'm sure it's much harder in your situation! If possible, I would let DC1 visit you in the hospital and just tell him that you will be there for a few days and will be home soon. Also, just calling him and talking to him on the phone. If you can skype, that's even better! But at least if you can text pictures to eachother.

I thought DS1 would have a hard time with me not being around, but he was busy and having fun, so would ask for me only once in a while. I think he did miss me, but I think it was harder on me than on him. When I got back home, I made sure we had lots of one on one time and just gave him lots of hugs/kisses.

I'm sure you have a good strong bond with DC1 and 10-14 days will not erase the months that you have been together! Hope your LO gets well soon and you will all be back home together!

P.S. Is it possible for you to go home for a couple of hours a day? If the baby is sick, but the mom is healthy, in the US, they discharge us home and we just go visit the baby in the NICU. Not sure what happens in Canada.

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2012

First and foremost congrats on DC2. A veryclosesecond T&P for DC2! As for DS, can he come visit you? Even if not, moms and dads are deployed for months at a time and still have wonderful relationships with their kids. Of course you miss him and he misses you and may resent it a bit but I doubt there will be permanent damage unless you would let it get weird (which you wouldn't). Could you record little videos and text/email them to him or make him something. Can you knit? Draw? How about an advent-style calendar counting down the days til Mommy & Sibling get home with little personal love notes from mommy for each day (you could make it out of envelopes). Making a craft may even help you heal and all 4 of you bond. Huge hugs. Tons of T&P!!!

yourmomwreckedmybike · February 2012

thanks for the kind words.

dc can come visit. he has been at the hospital for 3 of the last 6 days. i know hee is taken caree of and safe. to go from 24/7 to only 5 hours in 6 daays is really tough. we are ggoing to skype on the days i dont get to see him.

dc2 isnt in nicu. just the pediatriics ward. he is breastfed, so i cant leave unless i pump and have someone else to stay and watch him.. i think id be too much of a wreck to leave the hospital anyways.

thsose are some good suggestions, thank you

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