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South Carolina or any moms of preschoolers!!*need advice greatly!*

bride2sam11bride2sam11
in Pre-School and Daycare
Hey there! I dont post here often but i was looking for some insight and advice. I have a 3yr old DD(Oct 10th 08) and We just moved our family to south Carolina this past October from NJ. Prior to moving down here i worked at a learning/daycare center that DD was also able to attend since she was 6 weeks old. she absolutely lover learning, loves the social aspect of it and having "friends" and is just aching to be back in the school environment she used to being in Now NJ has a December 1st(i think! Either way its pretty late) cutoff date and even with that DD was always ready to move up with her class every September regardless of the fact that she hadn't turned the next age just yet and has always done really really well. She was doing fantastic and had just started the preschool class for about a month and a half prior to the move and With the fact that i just had our DS in august We are not financially able to get her back into school right away either, so while being a SAHM i decided to try to mirror the curriculum she was following in preschool and definately have her back in school by pre k come September, you ladies have no how bad she actually wants to be there, she asks me to take her school everyday, she points out every school she spots and hubby and i always come back with the "when you turn 4 it will be time for school again" . Even though Im teaching her at home i just feel soo bummed that we can provide her with something so fundamental that she actually truely desires.... Well this is where Im looking for some insight or advice. I call to inquire about enrolling her in pre-k for the fall and come to fine out there is a Sept 1st cutoff here in SC and she wouldnt be eligible to start pre-k until the following year!.... What? Im so upset about this one because like i mentioned DD is well and ready to being her classes this year as Shes always Been slightly ahead and two because Im gonna have to hold Her back an entire year just for being a month off from the cutoff date!? when she does start Shell be 5 in pre k, which isn't the point, the point is she going to be an entire year behind in what she was fully capable of learning this time around. And even if i try to keep her up to date with the curriculum myself or try to get her into a center that does followin your readiness by age and not cutoff, when she enters public school theyre just going to teach the same stuff to her all over again! I guess it doesnt really matter at this age but from here on out she is going to be unecessarily a year behind acamedically when she could easily and readily be a year ahead, or on time in this case and that sort of upsets me. Has anyone realized they are about to face this dilema? Am i caring way to much or worrying more than i should about this? how would you ladies handle the situation? Would you ladies attempt to speak with someone on the school board about this one? Is there some type of loop hole Im unaware off to get her where she needs to be?....sorry for the lengthiness and any typos as Im typing from my cell this morning! Any and all insight and advice is much appreciated!
Latoya-wife to DH since 04*30*11 Proud SAHM to DD Anaiyah Samara since 10*10*08 and DS Khairie Isaiah since 08*31*11 Surprise BFP 02*09*12 EDD 10*20*12 *TEAM GREEN!*
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Re: South Carolina or any moms of preschoolers!!*need advice greatly!*

  • bride2sam11bride2sam11
    Ugh! I cant wait to get my computer down here finally! I am terrible at writing such long passages on my phone and having to go back and edit! I apologize if any of you have trouble understanding what i was trying to relay :-p
    Latoya-wife to DH since 04*30*11 Proud SAHM to DD Anaiyah Samara since 10*10*08 and DS Khairie Isaiah since 08*31*11 Surprise BFP 02*09*12 EDD 10*20*12 *TEAM GREEN!*
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    1st off - take a huge deep breath and relax.  Your DD will not be a year behind forever.  Yes, she has learned more since she was in a class with older kids and now you live someplace with a different cut off and she will end up being at the same level as the kids she goes to school with and she will be the oldest vs the youngest which I personally beleive puts her at an advantage.  I would see what you can find for a preschool program for next year and then PreK when she is scheduled to start.  I do not believe in pushing your child and testing them to start early.  Being ready has a lot more to do with just book smarts - being socially ready is huge and while you may feel that your DD is totally ready today, how will she feel at age 10 or 13 or 16 or 18 when she is the youngest kid in class.  I have no clue how your area is for holding kids back a year but in areas where that is common, if you push her ahead, she could be a lot younger than her peers.  My DD has a June birthday with a Spet 1 cut off and we held her back as she was just not ready in many ways.  She was not alone in being held back.  I know of 2 kids that did test and start early (both missed the deadline by days) and they are both doing OK - both kids have always been in daycare settings since infants.  I also know a few parents who didn't hold back their late summer birthday kids and the kids are really, really struggling. Only you know your child and can tell if she is ready or not but I would look into alternatives vs pushing her to start early.  I bet you can find some great preschool programs for her to go to.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • duckiegrlduckiegrl member
    We have a Sept 1st cut of in MN too and it bugs the heck out of me because I'm used to an end of the year cut off (I grew up in HI). Anyways, after talking with the school, you can probably ask to have your daughter tested. We did this and she passed. After talking with some of the teachers and moms who have held their child back voluntarily, we decided that it would best for DD to start school according to the school board rules. It was a tough decision especially since DD is ahead of the other kids her age and even those older than her.  She's 4 and already reading by herself (sounding out the letters and words and not sight reading). Anyways, majority of the moms I talked to who held back kids did not regret the decision at all. In fact, there were even a few moms I know who wished they held their summer babies back a year. And then adding my own experience of starting with everyone else (my b-day is late Dec), I thought that although DD is upset that she can't start school with her friends now, it's what's best for her. I was always the youngest in school and wasn't able to participate in some activities because of that. I remember we had a class field trip to go ride go-carts and although I was allowed to attend, I wasn't allowed to get in a go-cart because I wasn't old enough. And that was rough! Also all my friends were older than me and so when we hit that age when we wanted to go out and do something, guess who couldn't go because they weren't old enough? And here's another thought for you. If your child does decide to go away to college, do you really want to send them off at 17? Technically they wouldn't be able to make their own decisions and would need permission slips to attend school related events (liability issue, my RA made sure I had those forms filled out or I got kicked out).
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  • duckiegrlduckiegrl member
    Oh I forgot to mention that we have early childhood education classes here in MN. Do you have anything like that there? DD goes to "school" once a week for about an hour and half and pretty much socializes and learns a little bit here and there. She loves it! And they do a summer program here where its 2x a week for 2.5 hours and it's like a pre-k prep class. DD did it last year at 3 yrs old and she's going to do it again this summer at 4. 
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  • jsugrinjsugrin member

    imageduckiegrl:
    We have a Sept 1st cut of in MN too and it bugs the heck out of me because I'm used to an end of the year cut off (I grew up in HI). Anyways, after talking with the school, you can probably ask to have your daughter tested. We did this and she passed. After talking with some of the teachers and moms who have held their child back voluntarily, we decided that it would best for DD to start school according to the school board rules. It was a tough decision especially since DD is ahead of the other kids her age and even those older than her.  She's 4 and already reading by herself (sounding out the letters and words and not sight reading). Anyways, majority of the moms I talked to who held back kids did not regret the decision at all. In fact, there were even a few moms I know who wished they held their summer babies back a year. And then adding my own experience of starting with everyone else (my b-day is late Dec), I thought that although DD is upset that she can't start school with her friends now, it's what's best for her. I was always the youngest in school and wasn't able to participate in some activities because of that. I remember we had a class field trip to go ride go-carts and although I was allowed to attend, I wasn't allowed to get in a go-cart because I wasn't old enough. And that was rough! Also all my friends were older than me and so when we hit that age when we wanted to go out and do something, guess who couldn't go because they weren't old enough? And here's another thought for you. If your child does decide to go away to college, do you really want to send them off at 17? Technically they wouldn't be able to make their own decisions and would need permission slips to attend school related events (liability issue, my RA made sure I had those forms filled out or I got kicked out).

    Where did you go to school?  I was 17 in college (Nov, bday) and I never once had an issue, outside of people saying to me "wow you're only X old".

    To the OP.  I would do whatever you can to get her in a private preschool for fall and then do the district pre-K program the following year. I understand your concerns and if you really feel she's ready only you can decide on testing her in. Honestly I don't know if it's an option for pre-k but it usually is for K. I think you need to do some research, maybe even join your local board, to see what are people doing with kids in your area.  Where I live it's not common to redshirt anyone let alone what I see people in other areas talking about redshirting a summer or late spring birthday (which seems crazycakes to me but that's not my norm).  If you live in a district where a lot of people hold back their summer kids then your daughter could end up being not even close to the oldest if she starts on the district timetable, which means if you test her in then she could be a 1 1/2+ younger than kids in her class.

    I think the best thing you can do is call your district and ask if people start on time or redshirt and if you have the ability to test her into pre-K early at all.  Then you'll have a basis to start your decision making process.

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    She won't be behind compared to the other kids in the state though, since other kids with fall birthdays will also be 5 turning 6 when they start school. I would wait and see how she does. (That said, mine have January birthdays and I know I'm lucky not to have this issue; their birthday makes it pretty straightforward!)
    Could you look into something like the Y preschool? I know ours has significantly discounted rates for members. Or even a MDO program one morning a week just so she has something until she's old enough for preK.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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