co-sleeping: tired of waking up multiple times per night
LO doesn't nap much... 40 minutes at a time if he does fall asleep. We're having a terrible time getting him to stay asleep at night and wind up bringing him in to bed with us after an hour or two of :
leaving him asleep in the crib, go back in a few minutes when he wakes up crying, settling him down, leaving him asleep in the crib, go back in a few minutes.... etc.
Generally, I nurse him to sleep once he's in our bed. When we're trying to get him to sleep in his crib, I nurse him or we rock him to sleep. He wakes me up multiple times per night to nurse and I am so overtired. At 3:45 this morning, I decided that I wouldn't feed him and see if he would go back to sleep. Unfortunately, after 45 minutes of both DH and I trying to get him back to sleep, we gave up (had to wake up for work at 5:30!) and I nursed him back to sleep.
Any advice? I know that these are two separate issues, but they are kind of connected since he doesn't stay asleep on his own.
Re: co-sleeping: tired of waking up multiple times per night
Are you not able to get back to sleep quickly after nursing? It took me a little time to get used to it, but even though she wakes up 3-4 times to eat, I barely wake up and she's done in 5-10 minutes. Here are my suggestions:
-go to bed earlier. stop worrying about getting stuff done and just sleep.
-if you want, you could try having him in bed with you all night and quickly and promptly nursing him when he wakes. Everyone may start getting more sleep.
It sounds like your baby is 100% developmentally normal! Check out these links on infant sleep...
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html
That said, how does one cope? I found that nursing DS while side-laying allowed me to sleep through his nursing. I also would do another position where I lay on my back and sit him next to my side. He bends at the waist down to nurse (and I go back to sleep). Now, he's modified that position to lay on his tummy while I lay on my back.
Other gentle options...go to bed earlier, try sleeping apart to see if there is a benefit (but don't be surprised if there is not, since waking is normal), read The No Cry Sleep Solution for additional idea, change your expectations (that doesn't make you less tired, but it may help it feel less emotionally overwhelming), remember that this will pass!
More Green For Less Green
I agree that you may be able to get more sleep if you and LO go to bed together and earlier. Until LO was about 6 months old, I would just lay with him while he slept (and side lie nurse when he would stir) and watch TV/movies with DH for a few hours and then sleep 9-10 hours with LO. I would also hold/wear LO or walk with him in the stroller for every nap during the day.
Around 6 months, we put a full size mattress on the floor next to our king, and this is where LO takes his naps and goes to bed around 7:30/8. I am able to side lie nurse, get up, and LO stays asleep (Sometimes for 20 minutes, sometimes for 3 hours).
If you don't want LO sleeping in bed with you 100% of the time, maybe try putting a mattress on the floor, either in your room or LO's room so that you can just nurse and get up once LO has drifted off to sleep, rather than having to worry about laying LO down in a crib once asleep. Every time I have tried to transition LO once he has fallen asleep, he wakes up, so I find that getting him to sleep while nursing and then "transitioning" myself to be what works for us.
I've also heard of moms getting in LO's crib to nurse and then getting out once asleep--if don't want to bring in a mattress (and you're tiny enough to fit in the crib with LO) maybe try that approach? Good Luck!
You mentioned that "the colic set in". Have you looked into any possible food allergies? I've found that Isla, my 5mo DD is colicky when I have any dairy at all in my diet. Not too bad since I'm allergic to milk anyway (it has meant being a lot more careful, even with tiny amounts). It's worth it though because no dairy for mom means no colic for baby.
That said, like pps, we bed-share and nurse side-lying and it makes a world of difference (I think...we've co-slept all her life so no idea what it would have been like to fetch her from her room when she was hungry - probably more exhausting though). Positions we use are:
- me on my side, her on her side, facing each other and nursing on "bottom" breast
- me on my back, her on top of me (perpendicular with legs hanging off or tucked under or now that she's bigger, sometimes she be on an angle). This sometimes requires a firm pillow or nursing pillow under my elbow to help me support her head. Modification: prop up a bunch of pillows behind you and one under your knees so you're reclined and comfy and you can use your nursing pillow on your lap. That's what we did from the very first night with her after our home birth. Be careful though with this one.
- her on her back or side, me sort of on my tummy but not quite, nursing on "top" breast.
Hope this helps! Haven't posted on here possibly ever, but I just started lurking again after lots of pre-baby lurking!
We did this ^. DS was sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed for the first month, but I found that it took much more effort to transition him back to sleep once he was done nursing. I didn't mind nursing him, but I hated having to rock him in the middle of the night for an unknown amount of time, not knowing if he would wake up the second I put him down.
To help this, we bought a new mattress and put it on the floor next to our bed. This is where he sleeps at night and takes most of his naps. Once he is done nursing, he stays asleep on the bed and I can move myself much easier (or just stay by him).