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DNA By Amnio - Can I Refuse

FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
in Single Parents

I told SD what the expected cost of child care was going to be, 910/month and asked him if he could pay 400/month to help out. More than generous, IMO, because this is less than half, and doesn't even go into other expenses. 

He came back demanding paternity testing....BEFORE the baby was born. Now, the only way to do that is through an Amnio. I don't think it's worth the risk. Can I refuse? What are the odds a judge will order that versus waiting until after Alien arrives?

My first paternity hearing resulted in a no show, and he was made the father by default. He's never questioned it. So, I'm not sure how it works when the father DOES request it...especially before the baby is born. 

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Re: DNA By Amnio - Can I Refuse

  • KtGirl88KtGirl88
    I would definitely say you can refuse! That is a risky test in my opinion and I doubt a judge would force you to do it when you can wait. If you want him to help pay for your prenatal care you can always get back child support (I would assume) no way would I let someone stick a needle in my belly when they can wait and do a simple cheek swab!
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  • DHYGchica3DHYGchica3
    I don't think you should be asking for any support before LO comes. It won't be counted by the court. It isn't really generous, and if he's demanding amnio testing it's really not worth it. He's obviously going to fight you on it, and he's not required to pay before the baby comes, so don't push it until LO comes. I think at that point you can request payment for things you bought for preparing for LO then.
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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member

    Let me clarify, I'm not asking for money NOW.

     The state will require he pay 50% of the medical costs in addition back child support. I'm neither concerned nor desiring that. The money is gone. Getting it back doesn't change anything. The 400/month is for daycare, and I told him about it as a heads up. Hey, it's going to cost this much come August, can you help out at all once he's in daycare? I won't ask for support before the baby is born. But, if he can help out and provide SOMETHING the court is going to be more willing to look at a lower amount than the 20%, as well as lower his back child support payments. If he refuses, they're going to see his as a deadbeat dad. We'll go into court with him 12-18K behind. They almost threw DDs father in jail for that, and he made a LOT less than SD.

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  • DHYGchica3DHYGchica3
    ok, well I guess I was a little confused. Don't discuss numbers with him, just have CS papers served to him later. It's not worth bringing it up if he's going to push to have a risky test done.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    You can absolutely refuse. Let him try to get a CO forcing you to get an amnio. Once the baby is born they can do a simple swab test at the hospital to determine paternity.

    Once the baby is born (I mean literally, the following week) go to your State's child support agency and start the case. They will handle everything. Just remember, getting a child support order doesn't mean he's going to pay it. Be prepared to start looking into different daycare facilities just in case.

    Good luck. 

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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member

    That's what I needed to know. I told him to wait, and that this puts a hold on everything. And all those things he wanted to work out before hand without going to court now have to change. I was just worried he'd force the issue and the court would agree. I can afford the daycare. I just don't want to. One in high school and one in daycare is freaking expensive! Military Ball gown and diapers. Find raisers and formula. Shudder. Sadly, this isn't my first rodeo. DDs father didn't pay for 5 years. But, Texas is really good about wage garnishment now, and SD works for the government. 

    Thanks again! I was totally freaked at having an amnio just for paternity testing. Especially since he didn't bring this up DURING my amnio! We could have done it then.  It freaked me out, but that risk was worth it. 

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  • missiemaemissiemae member
    I have been away from my now XH since summer of 2010. I became pregnant late October 2011 by the guy I started seeing Dec 2010. My divorce wasn't done yet as of December 2011 and my lawyer noticed that I was preg (I started showing really early) and so the decree had to acklowledge that I am pregnant and that it isn't his. Even though it's pretty obvious to me and those around me that it isn't his, I also have a restraining order against him, my now XH then tried to demand a DNA test to prove it wasn't his. He is manipulative and was obviously just doing this to irritate me.  I told my lawyer that even if a judge were to say that I had to have an amnio to get the test done I would refuse and be in contempt of court as it was better than putting my LO at risk. And what doctor could ethically do one against my will? My lawyer said that a judge will not and can not order a women to have a test done that can have such serious complications, that it would have to wait until after LO arrives. He since has backed off on this and signed the decree which the acknowledgement of non paternity is part of it.
    Just my experience in my state. Don't stress too much about it right now. It's your body and your baby.
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  • blowfish11blowfish11 member

    You can certainly refuse.  Health and welfare of mother and baby takes precedence. Period.

    He'll have to wait until baby is born.

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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
    imagethetruthhurtsyo:
    imageFyreFlyeRush:

    Let me clarify, I'm not asking for money NOW.

     The state will require he pay 50% of the medical costs in addition back child support. I'm neither concerned nor desiring that. The money is gone. Getting it back doesn't change anything. The 400/month is for daycare, and I told him about it as a heads up. Hey, it's going to cost this much come August, can you help out at all once he's in daycare? I won't ask for support before the baby is born. But, if he can help out and provide SOMETHING the court is going to be more willing to look at a lower amount than the 20%, as well as lower his back child support payments. If he refuses, they're going to see his as a deadbeat dad. We'll go into court with him 12-18K behind. They almost threw DDs father in jail for that, and he made a LOT less than SD.

    I am very confused by this. Why is he going to be $12-18k behind when you go to court? Do you not have health insurance?

    Texas is 20% of income for one child... And he's paid rather well. It takes 12-18 months to get a court date. Child support is retroactive from birth, plus interest. I think the  actual amount I calculated out was 987/month with Single/0 and excluding OT at the lowest pay step for his pay grade. As a government employee, his income is public record.

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