Second thoughts (kind of long)...
I have a problem. Or at least I see it as a problem now, though I guess it's more of just a choice, albeit an important and tough one. When we were looking into adoption at first, we kind of wrote off foster care (and possibly foster adopt) without a whole lot of consideration. It's always been on our list of things to do eventually, but we didn't think it was an option since DH is in the Army. Well, it's come to my attention that we can, in fact, do it, and now I'm just wondering if we should.
DH is basically open to anything within reality: whether we adopt a newborn or a sibling set of 3 LOs doesn't phase him in the least, and he's open to fostering with or without the possibility of adoption. I'm pretty much in the same boat, but the cost (or lack thereof) of going through foster care is really alluring to me right now. Instead of watching finances like mad to pay down a line of credit, we would be able to spend our money on our family and our home...
Basically I'm just ranting about my possible change of heart, and wondering what the heck we should do. Calling our agencies and telling them "Never mind, we changed our plans" just feels like quitting. For some reason that bothers me a lot, and it's not just the money we've already spent. I just don't want to feel like I've given up. It is okay to change our minds, right? But then we'd be basically starting all over. That's not TOTALLY accurate; we've got our background checks done. But so much else would have to be changed! If we decide to change our path, it really needs to be done pretty soon (before we pay a few thousand more to get our profile active and everything else that hasn't been done yet). Does anyone have any thoughts? Is a change like this completely nuts to even consider..? TIA...
Re: Second thoughts (kind of long)...
When I started the process, I was originally a straight adoption. Then I changed to fost/adopt. There is actually very little to do to get this changed. I just contacted my agency and they had to come out and get a few more papers signed and asked a few more questions. Then they submitted it to the courts for approval and once it was approved that was it. I am sure it varies a little from state to state, but you certainly won't be starting all over. The homestudy is the same as for foster as it is for adoption. You should definately talk to your agency. If they don't handle fostering as well, then you can transfer your homestudy to another agency. The homestudy you paid for and it's yours. If you change agencies then there may be more paperwork but fingerprints and homestudy should be the same. Good Luck.
Fost/adopt has never been a consideration for me. From my perspective, I have great admiration for those willing to go that route. I think it's a terrific change.
Try to not look at it as a change of mind but rather part of the story that is bringing you to your children.
Agreed.
Me: 26
Hubs: 32
Married June 19, 2010.
TTC since that date.
No successes that we know of.
Still waiting on the SA results. (Insurance issues.)
Cycle length approx. 34-36 days.
PCOS "diagnosis" Dec. 2011.
Started Metformin Dec. 2011.
34 day lighter cycle in Jan '12.
Possibly starting the adoption journey sometime this Spring.
Lots of unknowns, but tons of hope. :-)
Visit my blog, Angela's Favorite Things!
Visit my weight loss blog!