Advice: parents who are pregnant with their second

lpcj · February 2012

If this is not your first child, what are you doing to prepare your child for the new baby coming? My daughter is 4. She?ll be 5 when the baby is born. What have you done to prepare your older child for the new baby coming? I don?t want her to feel loved any less or feel like she isn?t getting as much affection from us as she was before. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks

hmp1 · February 2012

I won't be much help. My son is only 14 months old. I am going to ask his pedi at his 15 month check up for any suggestions or advice but I don't think there is any way to prepare a one year old for a sibling. I will still do bedtime with him every night when the new baby comes. DS goes to daycare during the day and I am just going to try to not disturb his schedule too much.

KNemo · February 2012

I'm still freshly KU, but we have talked about the baby growing in my "tummy," and we bought a few big brother books. We will continue to talk about the new baby and read books. He's not quite 3 yet, and the wait is already getting to him.

I look forward to seeing everyone elses ideas.

mishfull · February 2012

DD will be 4.5 when baby comes - she's helped with picking names, she loves going through the baby book. She'll be involved with shopping for the baby and picking out new toys and clothes.

I'll also be letting her pick out one special gift from her to the baby and we will get her something from the baby as well.

PepperStick · February 2012

My DD will be just under two when this newbie arrives so we're not doing much. I tell her there is a baby in my tummy and she'll be a big sister but that's about it. She's still too young to really understand.

Dulmaria · February 2012

DD will be almost 6 when baby #2 is born, she's been wanrting a sibling since me and DH got married, so when I took the HPT inmediatly I broke the news to them... She was thrilled! Every morning she'll kiss my tummy and say "good morning lil' sister, I love you" (awwww... She is so sure it'll be a girl)

MWoodside · February 2012

DD is 20 months so she doesn't understand it. I just ordered a couple books about being a big sister. One is called "When baby cries" or something & is interactive about how you can "help" mommy when the new baby comes. Other than that we are just going to work on her big girl room so it's ready well in advanace & she can get comfortable in it. I don't really know how else to prepare a child who will be just a bit over 2 when the newbie arrives.

Oh, I am also going to make a Busy Book for her to play with only when I am BFing. I am most worried about how time consuming BFing is & not wanting DD to feel like I've been totally taken away from her b/c of BFing.

MichelenDave06 · February 2012

ChancieMark:

Well we havent thought too much about it, but we have already decided that DH will stay at home with DS while I'm in the hospital in order to keep his life as normal as possible (I'll have another c-section so it will be a longer stay)

We also decided to get him a gift "from the baby" when he meets him or her at the hospital so that the event is still special for him.

Besides that I just think positive reinforcement and plenty of encouragement will be plenty.

Great idea! I may steal that.

golferwife · February 2012

Great question. I was thinking of asking. Our daughter will be 3 yrs 4 months when new baby arrives. We are going to hold off on telling her as long as possible. She LOVES babies and we have lots of little cousins who have become big sisters recently. We are also going to try and do something special to make her feel like a big girl before the baby arrives. Thinking we may move her room and let her help pick out new bedding and paint colors so she has something new that she is also excited about. She sleeps with the angel dear monkey every night (we have 7) so we are going to have her pick out a different angel dear animal for new baby and bring it to the hospital to give to the new baby. Hoping that will make her feel special and proud. Good luck!

mrmrssauers · February 2012

MichelenDave06:
ChancieMark:

Well we havent thought too much about it, but we have already decided that DH will stay at home with DS while I'm in the hospital in order to keep his life as normal as possible (I'll have another c-section so it will be a longer stay)

We also decided to get him a gift "from the baby" when he meets him or her at the hospital so that the event is still special for him.

Besides that I just think positive reinforcement and plenty of encouragement will be plenty.

Great idea! I may steal that.

Me too! DS will be 6 and just loooves gifts!

black.kat · February 2012

I am working on making my 3rd right now... my DD was 3 when our second was born. I talked a lot about the love in our family... about how much we love one another... and that it isn't possible for is to EVER love any less, but that it is great that our love will grow... and that will happen when the baby comes... I can't honestly say there was anything specific, but that I talked to her ALL OF THE TIME, literally every night before bed about the baby and how we will get to love her as a big sister and the baby will get to love her as a sister.

Of couse I did the "big sister" storybooks, but really, for us, nothing worked better than talking about all the things that the baby would be and do in our family = that included taking time away from her, but that is what babies need....

I guess mine is not something as simple as doing one thing, but more always explaining and talking to her about the baby in positive ways before she got here.

Anika is the best big sister, we have never had any times of jealousy or anything negative toward her. I know that has a lot to do with her personality, but she had a lot of time to prepare and knew what to expect. Plus we kept her schedule the EXACT same after baby got here, it was a challenge, but she never missed her night routine - I think that is important as well...

Holy crap am I rambling... I will stop now. Embarrassed

rebeccaparis · February 2012

These are alot of good ideas/ and info ladies! I hadn't even thought about talking to DD yet.

jolis_petits_bijoux · February 2012

DS is 2.5 and will be 3 and a few mos when the baby is born. We still have 7mos to go, so I haven't done much to prepare him yet. He knows there is a baby in momma's tummy.

I am the oldest of four, so I know how it feels at various ages to have a new baby come into the family. I think the most important thing is to just remember to pay as much attention as possible to your older child. Carve out time to spend one-on-one (you or DH) regularly with them once the baby arrives.

I'm going to make sure when DS comes to the hospital to meet the baby that I smother him with hugs and kisses and attention so he knows that he is still just as special as always.

nonipie · February 2012

DS was 3 when DD was born and we really didn't make a big deal of it. He came to most appointments with me and my OB is awesome and would make him part of it. We still kept the focus on him and did not talk about the baby a lot. He didn't ask a lot of questions, just said he was excited to meet his sister. This time we are not telling them until I am at least 20 weeks. It's just easier that way and then we can tell them there's a sister or a brother in my belly.

One thing that someone told me to do and was SUPER helpful was to get things set up earlier than you think to get the older child used to how things will be. So we set up the swing and the carseat and pulled out clothes and made him a big helper. I was around 30 weeks at that point so it gave him time to adjust. We also talked about the stuff with him as the focus. Like, "remember when you used to sleep in the crib?" and "I remember when you were in my belly and then when you were born we wrapped you in this blanket, can we share this blanket with your sister?" We also got a present from "the baby" for him. The transition was really smooth. He felt like it was US and not him on the side. We all are getting a new baby. This time he will be 5 and DD will be 2 when this little comes so we're still going to focus on him feeling comfortable but I have no plans to discuss it with DD.

ChubbyCheekiesMom · February 2012

My son will be 2 months shy of 4 when the baby arrives and we talk about the baby daily. He is beyond excited about being a big brother. The biggest things we talk about is what baby will do.

We work on soft touches, quiet voices, and being nice. He has a big brother shirt, book and loves looking at ultrasound photos of the baby. At school he also has a baby washing station that apparently he loves, so we might get a baby doll for him. If you ask him what will he do when baby comes his answer is ALWAYS "I'm going to love it, hug it and kiss it." I have no doubt he will be an amazing helper.

Wally3 · February 2012

Close friends who have a son his age are having another baby so we will just talk about it as we get closer to the time. Read books. We won't tell DS to we tell people because he is not a good secret keeper.

lpcj · February 2012

Thanks Everyone!! These are great suggestions Smile

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