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Single Parents
DH addicted to prescription pills
I am 39 weeks pregnant and really hate my situation. My wonderful husband uses prescription medication, xanex, oxys, roxys. We have a 2 1/2 yr old that he now ignores, he comes home from work and then goes out and comes home high. I can't stand the sight of him, so I basically stay home with DD alone all day.
If I go into labor I don't want him there, it is so embarising to be in front of a medical staff with a high husband. I am scared that I will go into labor in the middle of the night, cause I really don't want him there. If I go into labor without him there it will be the start of a war, but I can't take it anymore.
Today I filed our taxes and I am keeping the refund for myself to move out. I have no job, will have two kids and no money saved, because of his habit. I am scared though, I don't want to move in with my dad, the whole thought of moving really sucks. I want to go to nursing school in the fall, am I right assuming that I can get vouchers for day care if I go back to school?
I know I probably make no sense and I am all over the place but I am pissed right now and don't really speak to anyone about this.
I just can't believe my situation, I always had my stuff together, had a good job have a degree, my daughter is well taking care of. He just turned us into trash bags and that is not what we were. Outside looking in we look like we have a lot nice house, nice cars, a beautiful child, but we really have nothing.
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Re: DH addicted to prescription pills
Addiction is a horrible thing and I'm sorry you're going through this. I left XH when I was eight months pg because he was addicted to meth.
This isn't a reflection on YOU so I know it's hard but you have no reason to be embarassed. I'd recommend getting someone else who you trust and is a support to be in the delivery room with you. Do you have anyone you can stay with? It's ok to move in with your dad, you need help and support during this time. You need to check your pride at the door.
I do have a supportive family and I can move in with my Dad but DH is not the type to just go with it. I foresee many nights of having to call the cops and a few years of harassment in my future. Sometimes it just seems easier to stay with him than to leave.
How do I hire a lawyer with no money? How do I support myself?
I am so tired of playing the role of the victim, keep crying but don't do anything about it, buts it's hard. How do I explain this to my daughter?
I moved back with my parents, I cried more over that than my failed marriage. But it's not about us as adults anymore, it's about our kids, and keeping them safe.
As far as I know, (since I recently tried to get a referral for daycare vouchers) the only programs that will qualify are technical training schools, so maybe CNA but not nursing. You can complete a FASFA application for student aid, and get additional gov student loans or scholarships that you can use to pay for day care.
You'll have fights, sure. In the end it will be all worth it to get out of that miserable situation.
I came upon your post accidentally but having worked with women in similar circumstances I can say to definitely have a safety plan for leaving, look into domestic violence resources for more details, and remember to clear the history from your computer right afterwards.
Regardless of if you leave or not, you should look into an nar-anon or al-anon group to help you cope with the impact of addiction on you and your family.
Make sure you have originals or copies of any documents you may need and start to slowly move any important photos or keepsakes away before you leave, including things you could sell. Others in this group will I'm sure have better specifics for you, including if its possible to make him be the one to leave.
As to labor, if you don't want him there contact the hospital ahead of time and explain the situation and have them run interference...it may start a war but it will keep him out. So sorry you are in this situation...