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he's coming home

Marion&KitMarion&Kit member
in Military Families

Long time lurker and occasional poster about Tricare (because I know way more than I'd like), but I had to share the good news.

I'm in a weird situation with DD - I'm close friends with her father, SSgt in the Air Force. We were friends for a few months while at the Air Force Academy. I found out I was pregnant about 2 months before he PCS'd to Beale AFB in CA while I got out and moved home to Pennsylvania. He deployed in April, was supposed to be stateside in December, but it got extended.

Just got word that he'll be back at the end of February! He's never met DD, never saw me pregnant, just lots (and lots and lots) of letters and pictures. We're not dating I suppose, it's hard to start a relationship like that, but it is a definite acknowledged possibility from both ends.

My question is, should we go out to see him during his R&R? I talked to his Shirt, he said he can also take paternity leave if I'm in the area. This is my first time dealing personally with deployment, I have no idea what sort of mood he's going to be in when he's back. Is it something I should wait to bring up until he's back? He has limited phone/computer access, it's not something we can discuss personally. I'm more excited than I can explain, but I have no idea how to handle this situation. 

TIA!

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Re: he's coming home

  • BLT20051BLT20051 member
    Are we talking R&R like mid-tour or his post deployment leave? I'd personally ask him to come to come to me. It's much easier for him to pack a backpack and fly to see you and your DD than you pack and fly alone with her to see him. KWIM?I'd mention it before he comes home but not press the issue. Maybe just a "You know, I'd love to see you and I want you to meet DD but I'm afraid of flying out there with her alone. Would you want to come and see us?"

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    CJ 05/29/2013

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  • Marion&KitMarion&Kit member

    Post deployment. First Shirt says unless he charges leave, he only has 4 days to leave the local area - and we're across the country from each other. The only way he could take paternity leave would be if DD and I are within like 100 miles of the base or something to that effect. 

    I honestly have no issues flying by myself - I've traveled before, and it's been just me and DD for 5 months now...but the real question is whether or not he'd be up for having me and a baby hanging around for a week or two. Everything I've read about guys coming home from deployment is to give them space, and quiet, let them adjust. 

    I want to see him, I know he wants to see us (DD especially, it's most of what he asks about it letters) - I'm just not sure if I should do it right when he comes home, or wait a while longer.

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  • Princess FireballPrincess Fireball
    I'm not sure if this would work, but I'll suggest it just in case. I think he can wait and take his paternity leave as long as it's within a year of LO being born. I'd give him the 2 weeks R&R to himself and then fly out at a later time to visit him and he can take his paternity leave later.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • Excited Mrs PExcited Mrs P

    I think you should ask him what he would be up for.

    Personally, I think he would dream of having DD there to greet him when he arrives...

    So I'd just throw the two previous suggested ideas out to him and let him decide.

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