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Toddlers: 24 Months+
BennyL
member
Do you still hold / pick up your toddler?
BennyL
member
Hi again! This morning I carried my almost 3 year old into daycare because he loves when I hold him. His teacher encouraged me not to do this b/c he is too old for that - what do u think? I like holding him - but it is not always possible if DH is not with me as I can't manage both him and his younger brother. Just curious what u all think...
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Re: Do you still hold / pick up your toddler?
every day, all day long on and off. "up pease!" They love to be held and I treasure it knowing in a few years they'll want no part of it!
This exactly. My 1st was worn. Never rode in a stroller. She walked when she asked to. She was held when she asked. Everyone who happened to have eyes and a mouth had an opinion that they had to share. And guess what- each and every one of them was wrong. My kid is independent and walks, runs jumps, and eek- even has an identity independent of me. She is incredibly patient and affectionate and I'd pick her up now at 4 any time she asked. But she rarely does. I'd tell DCP "thanks for the advice" and carry her anyway.
This. DD is only little for so long. One day, I will long for the days when I picked her up and held her. I want to cherish them now while I can. If I ever thought it was spoiling DD in some way or holding her back developmentally, I would'nt do it as much.
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
Ari was the same way - worn all the time, only started short stroller rides after he was 1 yr. He had reflux & sometimes between DH & I we would wear him 4 hours a day plus & he would be held almost the entire remainder of the day.
There's many days I can barely get a kiss & hug out of him. And he RUNS into his Montessori class barely looking back now.
Hell no! I am breaking him of this habit. I will occasionally pick him up and snuggle him for a minute or so, and carry him if there's some reason I have to move more quickly than he can manage, but AS SOON as I can put him down, I do it. I don't think a two year old kid needs to be picked up and carried like a baby. They have legs for a reason.
I also don't think two year olds should climb on their parents, or insist on sitting on their lap. I'm glad my son is getting used to this. Attachment is good, it's great, and I've loved holding and snuggling my baby...but he's not a baby anymore. I don't need to encourage him to act like one, especially when I'm still very loving and affectionate with him.
This. I have a hard time understanding women who get annoyed by their toddler's wanting to be with them and close to them. I know if its all day long and you are trying to get things done, it can be mentally taxing. However, I treasure all the snuggles and love my child wants to give me. I am all too aware how quickly the day will arrive that he doesnt want to be bothered with me anymore....
I carry DD in to daycare every morning that she goes. For a few reasons:
1. She is still half asleep at 6:30am drop-off (we have a 45 min commute to daycare)
2. I like the last minute "snuggle" as we walk up the driveway
3. I don't want her trying to negotiate a potentially icy/slippery driveway in the dark even if I am holding her hand.
4. In the morning, she asks me to carry her, so I do.
Who cares what his teacher says? If you want to hold your son and carry him in, do it!
At every chance I get!
She runs to me in the morning and goes up for snuggles, and I know that this will not last forever.
Sometimes she will ask to walk, but when she asks "mummy, hold Ella", how can I say no? It's not spoiling her, she's not going to be lazy, she will just know we can have snuggles whenever.
And I agree with PP - he's your son, if you want to hold him, and he is happy to let you, then hold him. I don't look to Ella's teachers for parenting advice.
I still hold my daughter when she asks and when it's more convenient (ex: needing to move faster than she can walk, needing to go in one direction without a zillion stops, etc.). I also carry her in store parking lots because it's safer than having her possibly slip out of my hand and run off in a parking lot (she's not a runner, but I still don't want her on her own in the parking lot). However, DD's definitely becoming more and more independent and when she asks to walk and it's safe, I generally let her walk.
I still hold and rock my child while reading and singing songs before bed (and naps on the weekend). It's part of our routine and I'll do it until the day comes that she no longer wants to be held while reading/singing before bed. When that day comes, I fully intend on laying or sitting next to her in/on her bed and reading and singing to her before bedtime.
I do. Mostly she wants to walk/do things on her own so when she wants me to carry her unexpectedly I will, even over the baby bump. And right now she's fighting a nasty chest cold and really wants the closeness. I don't mind at all. I'm treasuring the time we have left when I can focus on just her.
And i would side-eye any teacher who felt it was their place to tell you that. I probably wouldn't say anything unless they brought it up again but for heaven's sake, you're not carrying around a 4th grader.
I pick up ds all the time. He is a great snuggler. I do expect him to walk and be independent when we are out and about.
The preschool teachers I have worked with always encouraged that the child be independent. If a parent consistently carried in their child or helped them put away their belongings, the teacher would gently intervene. If it didn't stop, myself or another aide were asked to greet the parent and child at the front of the building and offer to walk the child in. This was even done in a preschool classroom for child with special needs. I noticed that the children that were able to come in on their own and put their own things away had fewer issues with separation anxiety than those that didn't.
I do but he's just over 2. I carry him to and from the car in the morning/afternoon when taking him to MILs. We don't wear shoes in the house/neither does she - so it is a waste to put them on/take them off 4 times in 10 minutes.
DH often carries him when we are going into/out of a restaurant now that it's cold. When the weather was warmer we let him walk. Now we carry him because we want in and out quick!