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Single Parents
How should I handle this? (about STBX-ILs)
Right now there is no custody order in place. I've told STBXH that I only feel comfortable with meeting in public places for him to see our son. He still tried to weasel into going over to my old house (he doesn't know I moved out and live with my parents yet). He'll say, oh my mail keeps going there... etc... (I'm going to start return to sender with a note he doesn't live there as of now- I've asked him repeatedly to change his address).
So his parents came out once to see DS, I've told STBXH that they are more than welcome to come any time to our PUBLIC meetings, and that included his grandmother.
Well STBXH's grandmother is older, but I've told him he should pick her up (she lives next door) and bring her when we go to like the library. His family keeps INSISTING that I must bring DS to HER. I've kindly tried to explain how uncomfortable this has made me and that I don't think it's a good idea, then again offering her to come out to see DS. (She has verbally attacked me about being the cause of our failed marriage and being a bad mother for doing all this. She cornered me in her drive way one time when I tried to drop DS off for a visit.) Needless to say, I DO NOT feel comfortable going there by myself with DS and I don't deserve the verbal abuse.
He keeps insisting, and insisting, and insisting. Any time we have a visit planned he will say "After you should bring him to my grandmothers, it's been like since Christmas since she's seen him..." Laying on the guilt trip nice and thick.
I'm afraid I'll either have to be the big ol'e b!tch they say I am or else I'm going to break and give in, and then his family will try to walk all over me and say XH should be able to see DS at his grandmothers too. Need major advice please!
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Re: How should I handle this? (about STBX-ILs)
She hasn't seen your kid since Christmas... What a biitch... I mean that was like so one month ago! ::insert masive eyeroll::
My stbxfil informed me at the last visitation that he was going to take me to court for grandparent custody/visitation. My lawyer immediately informed me that the supreme court has said that grandparents do not have any rights when there is a living fit parent. I had to inform him (read policeman informed him) that he was allowed to see his granddaughter anytime he would like during his son's scheduled visitation time. As far as the rest of stbxh's family I have a decent relationship with. They know they can visit dd anytime we are available.
If grandma never leaves the house for anything more than a dr's visit I might concede and drive over there to visit. However if it's just another form of manipulation tell her to deal with it. Your main concern at the moment should be your child's relationship with his father. All others are just going to have to wait until you have more figured out about your new situation.
She is able to leave the house, and drives herself. It is more so a manipulation tactic more than anything. His parents were told all visits until a co is in place will be PUBLIC ONLY, including his grandmother.
I am just so stressed because if I cave this is just going to lead to them expecting MORE exceptions from me. He's been trying to get me alone with DS, and it makes me nervous, he's also trying to weasel out of me demanding court ordered anger management. If I give this inch he's going to take more than I can give.
If it makes me a b!tch for not wanting to put myself and DS in an uncomfortable situation than so be it. He shouldn't have been an @$$hole to me and my son and threatened our safety in my home, otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation to begin with.
Stop talking to him.
Relavent details ONLY in email or text.
"Visitation at local mall 3p-4p satuday 2/4/12 confirmed."
NO OTHER CONVERSATION IS NECESSARY it only riles you up. Remember everything out of his mouth is noise. You don't listen to noise.
This. I wish I could just copy and paste into every "vent" post about an XH/X on this board.