Blended Families

telling SOs daughter about new baby

Shes 4 and we decided this weekend we are going to tell her about the baby.. mainly holding back because we know her BM will tell her all sorts of colorful things after the fact. So we just didnt tell either of them. Shes been asking for a baby for months, so im sure she will be excited, at least until she gets back to BM house. We have a very poor relationship with BM and honestly we feel BM will tell her 'daddy doesnt need you anymore, he has a new baby coming" or something along those lines. She pulled the same thing when we first started dating. and the words "better knock your gf up now, because youre never seeing your daughter again" have come out of her mouth. SO is worried that BM will try and keep his DD away from him.. I tell him atleast weekly if not more to go to court..

any ideas on how to tell her shes gonna be a big sister and make sure she knows we will love her just as much as we do now?

Shane 8/19/12 Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Re: telling SOs daughter about new baby

  • Make it all about her.  "You're going to get to be a big sister", "LO is going to be so lucky to have such a great big sister", when talking about the baby refer to it as her little brother or sister rather than the new baby, enlist her help in picking out things for the baby, let her know how important big sisters are.
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  • imageFriskyPanda:
    Make it all about her.  "You're going to get to be a big sister", "LO is going to be so lucky to have such a great big sister", when talking about the baby refer to it as her little brother or sister rather than the new baby, enlist her help in picking out things for the baby, let her know how important big sisters are.

    seriously love all of this. what do we call the baby before we know what it is? i know what we think it is, but i dont want to call it one, and be wrong.

    Shane 8/19/12 Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos
  • I bought a book for our 6 year old (she's the youngest of my husband's 3), and though we haven't told them yet, that's how I am going to reinforce to her that she's still special.  We are the most concerned about her since she relishes her role as "the baby".  The book is called "I'm a Big Sister" by Joanna Cole - I bought it at Target.
  • I feel like I am in the exact same boat as you are only difference is my SO's daughter is only 2. She doesn't completely understand the new baby thing yet but was very excited at first and now it seems that BM has been possibly "coaching" her to do other things. She has been absolutely hateful to me the past two times we have had our visitation. I try so hard with her because I love her so very much. BM is a HANDFUL to say the least, it is always something with her. I hope you don't run into these things. I agree with the PP to make it all about her. We did the same thing with SO's daughter and although she didn't understand completely she was still excited. Hope everything works out for you.
    BabyFruit Ticker image image image
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