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Isn't this not okay?
One of my co-workers is pregnant with her 2nd child. First one is a girl and they just found out #2 is a boy. She just told me they went to register for all new things for baby #2. She said since everything was pink for their daughter they registered for boy themed things for #2. I took a look at her registry and she has more stuff on there than I do! She registered for EVERYTHING including a new pack n play, stroller, car seat and high chair. Isn't this considered to be in bad taste when it's #2?
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Re: Isn't this not okay?
I think it's absolutely fine for people to register for a second child; high chairs and all. (How far apart are your coworkers two kids??) I know people make a big deal about it, but in my opinion, if you have family and friends wanting to buy stuff for the new baby, good for them.
I also know parents who register for a ton of stuff in hopes to use the completion coupon if no one buys it for them.
ETA: I had 29 items on my registry at some point and I thought it was too much. And then I got to look at other people's registry and mine looked pretty tame. lol.
I'm with you in that I think it's horribly tacky. People are pretty divided on this and I don't know if it has to do with geographic location or what, but I do shudder when I hear about showers (especially lavish over the top soirees) for 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc etc kids.
In my opinion, showers/registering is for your first. I do kind of see the necessity if you're kids are further apart as things like carseats have expiration dates, but if you need new stuff because you were too short sighted and only registered for everything covered in butterflies and unicorns for your first then that's stupid.
I think it's ok to register for things for a second (or third, fourth) baby...within reason. We had a small registry for Claire that consisted of a high chair, convertible car seat, cosleeper, swing, and a few other random things. My friends also threw me a shower for Claire. Their opinion was every baby should be celebrated, not just first babies. I think that's a great opinion, and that's the meaning behind baby showers (not just getting things!).
However, I think it's tacky to go overboard and register for everything new. We did reuse some things from Aiden as they were about three years apart. And I would never expect to receive everything new for a second baby. That's just greedy.
miscarriage on 11/26/09 at 5w6d
If her family is throwing her a shower and they asked her to make registry then I would say add a few things (like sheets, diapers, and wipes). Personally I would not register for all new things. How far apart are the kids? It's tacky to ask people for more gifts, but if the family is willing to throw the shower, I say go for it, but I wouldn't register for all new big ticket items. Another reason why we picked a lot of gender neutral big ticket items.
EDIT: I started a registry for this baby and my family was dead set on having another shower (basically it's a luncheon to celebrate another life and I'm okay with that). I had a hard time coming up with things to put on the registry. But I mainly did it so I could keep track of what we needed and hoping to get the completion coupon too.
Ditto, Heidi. This is why we bought/registered for all gender neutral things aside from clothing, blankets and other things we can easily replace ourselves. I could not fathom asking people to buy all this stuff for me again in blue. I can understand needing some things repurchased for safety reasons or if kids are spaced far apart but it just seems so tacky and selfish to me to go over the top for kid #2+.
Someone's getting a little brother!
I think it's fine. After all you don't have to buy for her! My family live way over seas and my in laws threw a baby shower for me for baby #1, they already told me I don't get another baby shower for the next one. The hardest part was I got shafted because my husband had a lot from my step daughter so I used a lot of the 'big' things rather than get to choose what I would of liked. Do I think it's a little weird that she's putting repeat large items on the registry sure but if her family or friends want to buy thats up to them.. I certainly know I am on my own for the next baby and i am ok with that!! The amount of time we have used have the stuff it fine with me!
I hope they didn't get the gender wrong and she really is having a boy though! if she got rid of all the girl items that would really suck!
I think it is fine. Usually people want to buy stuff for baby number 2 or 3 or 4 .... anyway and that way at least they know what the parents want/need
Yeah, it's maybe a bit much to ask for the big stuff a second time, but to be honest ... with the first child most mom's get over excited once they find out the gender and don't think into the future ... so if all their stuff was pink, including stroller, I can see why they registered for a new one. Would hope at this point though that now they want a neutral one
Yeah I'm not a fan of registering or showers for more than the first baby with obvious exceptions - huge age differences, multiples (my best friend from college has younger sisters who are 11 years younger than her and are twins, I'm sure her mom had a shower when they were born even though they were her 3rd and 4th kids), etc etc.
I would go to a shower for a second or third or fourth child or whatever (if it was a good friend) but I probably would not buy them something off the registry, and I would definitely judge if the registry was excessive.
Something to keep in mind though is that many people put things on the registry for the completion discount - i know we did. We have our stroller on there and I dont think anyone is going to buy it for us for our shower, but we wanted to use the discount for it. Also, people do buy gifts for second or third children regardless of a shower so a registry isn't always inappropriate - but advertising it might be.
I am a fan of sprinkles/meet the baby parties for second/third/etc children, bc trust me, this 4th child gets that every baby needs to be celebrated and welcomed, but a full-blown shower is just different in my mind.
I agree. I also understand registering for the completion discount, which, if we have a #2, we will probably do.
My mother was kind of appalled by the lack of stuff on my registry.
I had a registry for baby #2, which was another boy and only a little more than 2 years after the first boy. But here's the thing.....I didn't even tell anyone about it. I just did it for the registry completion coupon they sent me.
I didn't have a shower for DS#2...I would have felt uncomfortable with that and my family and friends were aware of that. Things would probably be a tad different if DS2 had been a girl, or if there was a more significant age gap and I had gotten rid of a lot of DS1's things.
So I think there are a lot of factors that go into it and its more the person's attitude (like if they are being gift-grabby and demanding) rather than the fact they registered.
I don't have a problem with showers and registries for baby #2, #3, etc. I don't think they should be as extensive as it was for #1 because really, you should be able to reuse a lot of stuff.
We already have a PNP, infant car seat, bouncy seat, stroller and swing that are all gender-neutral and ready to be reused for baby #2 whenever he/she comes along. I purposely picked gender-neutral things because I knew we'd be having more kids. I do think it's not a good idea to get all these things in gender-specific patterns.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
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I registered for a bunch of pink girly stuff DD - I TOTALLY did not think it through. If we have a 2nd baby and its a boy, I'm not sure what I'll do. I may register for new stuff or not (even big stuff), I suspect I won't just because I hate alll the clutter that I already have and its used for SUCH a short time, but even if I did register for second PnP or stroller, bouncy seat/swing, high chair, etc. its not like anyone is obligated to get me anything anyway - if some thinks its tacky or thinks i'm an idiot for not planning well, I assume they either won't get me anything off the registry - which is totally fine too.
Did she say she expected anyone to get her the stuff. I am 15 weeks with baby#3 and my list is crazy because I just pop stuff on there and sort it out later. It is more of a list than a registry.
As for 2nd, 3rd, etc. Why not have a party? Why, just because of an accident of birth, should a child not be celebrated and for that matter not get to have some new things. Things break and get worn out with use. Now, I think it is tacky for anyone to expect a gift ever, for anything, but I don't think it is wrong to give a shower. And that shower can be just as big as for a first baby. Every life deserves to be celebrated.
My three are close in age, my oldest will be 5 by the time this one is born, but I need all new car seats, a new crib (they have been recalled) new bottles, new clothes because if the season difference, a new stroller and I may need a new swing because I think mine died after my son used it to death. Do I expect anyone to get me these things, no but what is wrong with making a registry for these "big ticket" items and if someone wants to be generous they can get what we want and need?
It is modern times, just like it is ok to have men at showers, it is ok to have more than one shower.
Agreed. They're called birthday parties.
ETA: The registries don't bother me as much as the showers do. If people ask you if you need anything, a compiled list to give them is nice. (For #2 someday we'll probably do an Amazon wish list to keep track of what we need and if people ask, we can direct them). It's the multiple showers I give the side eye to, especially if the kids are close in age.
Someone's getting a little brother!
Eh I don't really get the whole "every life deserves to be celebrated so let's have multiple showers," I admit. But I view showers as more about the mom and parents to be and welcoming them to parenthood and all that.
I am more a fan of meet-the-baby parties for second, third and so on children. And like I said, I'm the youngest of 4. I have a big complex about whatever you do for the first you have to do for all of them - from newborn photography on down. But showers are different in my opinion.
But I also think this is something that varies from region to region and social group to social group. In some circles, it's considered normal and expected to have multiple showers for every child. In other showers, it's frowned upon. As long as you know your audience, I think you're set.
That's a tough one. We registered for #2, but it wasn't a public registry that we sent to our family and friends. I mean, if someone asked we'd tell them it was there, but we weren't advertising it. We mostly used it to keep track for ourselves what we still thought we needed to get, and for the completion coupon at the end. Though a few people did buy off of it and that was a nice surprise.
I do think it's tacky, though, to expect people to buy you everything all over again.
I'm in the every life should be celebrated camp... I have been the hostess of 3 different sprinkles, and I think that they were all done very tastefully. (Of course, I planned them, so I think that!)
At one, a small group of people went to brunch. At a second we did a Mom's night in. I had a bunch of the girls over to my house, we had mocktails, and someone hgave everyone manis and pedis. At both of these parties I didn't say anything about presents on the invitation and the mom didn't register. Most of the ladies that came brought a small gift. A lot of them were handmade items such as blankets and hats or small items that get used up like diapers or breast pads.
At the third we did a stock the freezer/pantry party. This was for one of my cousins who already had a young baby at home and #2 on the way. (Not quite Irish Twins, but pretty close in age.) I bought the person a chest freezer and I asked all of our Aunts to each make a freezer meal for the family. My mom and I went over the morning of the party and cleaned her house. Then throughout the day, a couple people at a time showed up to drop off food and wish Mom, Dad and Big Brother-to-be well.
Lol.
Honestly, I don't see the big deal. I'm not a huge fan of being the center of attention, much less the center of attention while I'm carrying around 40 lbs of extra weight, so showers thrown for me aren't my idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon. But if someone wants to throw one for a friend or family member I'll show up, have a piece of cake, deliver the gift I would have gotten for the new baby in any event, and spend a few hours playing stupid games and laughing with friends. As for the registry, I don't get the issues with size. If I had a huge family/group of friends that wanted guidance on what to get us, or I really wanted the completion discount on a bunch of stuff, I'd have a larger registry. If there were fewer people, or I was horrified by the idea of another truckload of crap coming into my house (this one is me!!), I'd have a smaller one or none at all. No biggie.
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d