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is this normal? more separation anxiety!

kastlekastle member
in D.C. Area Babies

So, this morning sprout was *trembling* when i dropped him off at daycare.  Visibly shaking. He had 8oz of milk & some cereal like usual before going (she feeds them breakfast) so i don't think it was hunger induced.

is that normal?  

(on another note, he was apparently better during the day yesterday re: crying & didn't immediately come to me when I went to pick him up)

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Re: is this normal? more separation anxiety!

  • umdbrideumdbride

    I really have no experience here, but that must feel awful :( 

    It sounds like you have a very caring DCP, and have tried all the typical separation anxiety tips so I think I would call the pedi and ask what is normal and what else you might be able to do to ease the anxiety a bit.

    Our pedi has a list of books he recommends for various issues and anxiety is one of the categories, but I'm not sure if the books focus on separation anxiety in LOs or if it is more general anxiety in older kids:  https://www.hirschpediatrics.com/documents/HirschPediatricsRecommendedBookList_002.pdf

    I hate to say it, but I'd also probably start thinking about other DC options, at least for the short term - maybe he would be more comfortable with someone coming to your house instead? Or an environment where he gets more 1-on-1 time with the DCP? Or maybe even an environment that has more going on?

    sorry you're dealing with this, I can't imagine how hard it must be!

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  • kastlekastle member

    thanks, i'll look into those books.

    i just remembered at his last dr's appt he was also trembling (she remarked on it. he really doesn't like the dr's office!) so maybe calling would be good too as it's not just a one-time thing anymore.

    i'll consider alternative daycare situations after another week of trying to get him into a schedule of daycare everyday (this is only the second day of that).  once he's there, it's clear that he's having a good time & is well cared for. When I picked him up yesterday, it took several minutes for me to get him to leave. 

    i know it's important for him to learn to be OK when mom/dad aren't around, but OMG this is so hard!!  Thanks for your advice.

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  • rnin02rnin02 member
    imagekastle:

    thanks, i'll look into those books.

    i just remembered at his last dr's appt he was also trembling (she remarked on it. he really doesn't like the dr's office!) so maybe calling would be good too as it's not just a one-time thing anymore.

    i'll consider alternative daycare situations after another week of trying to get him into a schedule of daycare everyday (this is only the second day of that).  once he's there, it's clear that he's having a good time & is well cared for. When I picked him up yesterday, it took several minutes for me to get him to leave. 

    i know it's important for him to learn to be OK when mom/dad aren't around, but OMG this is so hard!!  Thanks for your advice.

    the part I bolded would make it hard for me to look for a daycare alternative. It sounds like drop off is hard, but after that he is fine...so tough to know what's best. We had a year of crying before we left the house, crying at drop off, saying he hated it, etc it was awful. He would play fine and eat fine once he was there, but was always super eager to go home. We recently switched to a preschool program with about 20 other kids (vs an in home daycare with only a few kids), the first day or two he cried at drop off, but by the third time he was done with crying, and now, 3 weeks later, he will tell you "preschool is good" and he does "good things" when he is there. I used to think he just had separation anxiety, but I think for us it was also finding the right environment. Good luck, I know its really hard!

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