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Single Parents
How much time does your ex get with LO?
I was served last week and he is requesting 50/50 including nights! I am still nursing so I at least know the nights will not happen for now.... I think. I am meeting with my attorney tomorrow to put together my response. At this point I am not comfortable with him having unsupervised visits because of his dangerous living situation and drug use (he says he has stopped but I highly doubt it because he told me he will never stop. If he has he will start up again as soon as he knows I won't spring a drug test on him Im sure)
So my question is how much time does your ex, BD.. ect. have with your LO? Is it supervised or unsupervised? Did he want more or ask for more when you went to court/mediation?
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Re: How much time does your ex get with LO?
I think most often visits are kept to one evening a week and EOW. We aren't even going there now.
Try to get supervised visits, we are pushing for a facility that supervises and writes reports for each visit. It's going to be a step up plan, if he does 8 weeks supervised visits, then he gets a couple hours a week unsupervised, eventually a full day, and then MAYBE EOW but that's going to be a stretch.
Although you are nursing it wont keep him from overnights. You can pump and send bottles. What proof do you have that he lives in an unsafe envirnment and is doing drugs? Do you have pictures? Do you have something in writing?
My ex had supervised visits up until this October. He never filed so I never let Wy go because I wasnt forced too. Now he gets him EO weekend from 9-6. He had to agree to this because he has no relationship with LO and I wasnt going to send my child away with someone he barely knows. He will eventually get more but he has to be consistent with his visits and he isnt.
I would offer him supervised (only if you can PROVE his drug problem), if you can't you should offer him 8 weeks of 12pm-4pm visitation EOW, then increase it after 8 weeks to 9-5 EOW for 8 weeks and then offer one overnight from saturday at 12 to sunday at noon. Then at childs 1st bday offer him EOW from Friday to Sunday (since that is the norm). I would also offer him Wednesday visitation on the weeks he doesnt get LO. I love the step up visitation plan but it has to be followed or he doesnt get more time.
She has never taken a bottle at night before. Im not sure she would. She sleep from 8 to about 12-1 then nurses every two hours. She does "Reverse cycling" so during the day when I am away she doesn't eat a lot because she is waiting for me to get home so him having her at night would not be good. My pedi would agree Im sure since she is the one who explain what reverse cycling is. We are going to work on building a case against him with visits to that home, psych evals for the other members living in the home and drug tests. I am hoping we will find the proof we need but it is scary how good they are at lying. Someone will see through it eventually. I will definitely talk with the attorney about a step up visitation plan. That sounds like something I might be able to do. Although, Im sure he won't like that at all. He is been very stubborn lately. He went without seeing her for 2 weeks just because he didn't want it to be supervised and in public. Now it will be a while before he see's her again because our last visit was scary.
We don't have a visitation order "on the books."
DS goes to BD's house e/o weekend from 730pm Friday - 730pm Sunday and it's unsupervised.
Because it's not CO, we've agreed on the terms together. He doesn't have the availability to see DS during the week so this works for us.
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I have proof of domestic abuse and that my STBXH has a severe alcohol problem. He has agreed to my terms of visitation until I know he has improved his life. But until then he only gets 4 hours (I originally said 3 but upped it when the judge asked) of supervised visitation per week. He wants more but he hasn't even been released from jail yet so if he vastly improves within 6 months of his release I may be willing to up the time spent as I feel my son should have a daddy in his life, and my STBXH is a pretty good dad when he wants to be.
While he is in jail (for another month) he gets one 30 minute visit per month but he has opted not to use that time as he says he does not want his son to see him like that so that's alright with me. I don't blame him.
ONLY do what you are comfortable with. If you think your child may be in danger take any precautions you can.
My ex was given every other weekend, and every Wednesday evening for 3 hours. He also gets 4 weeks during the summer (not consecutive), a week at Christmas and a week at Easter.
He takes the girls for less than 48 hours a month, and has never had them more than 2 nights in a row.
My husband was given overnights with his breastfed daughter and his ex-w was ordered by the court to pump. But, she filed for a no-fault divorce and it was unfair to my husband to be apart from his child.
XH has two visits a week. One on Sunday is for four hours, one on Tuesday is for at least 2 hours.