- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Jake's Mom
member
I know I complained about daycare & DS before but omgosh
Jake's Mom
member
It has been 4 weeks, well will be 4 weeks tomorrow.
-He still cries daily and fights anything that has to do with getting ready.
-He still screams when he comes home. Doesn't want to be put down or go anywhere.
-He screams so much he almost barfs.
-He has been sick the entire time and not sleeping at all.
-I want to scream/throw things and rip him out of daycare (I have tried really hard to accept this but for bleeps sake it's been 4 freakin weeks)
-I don't know what to do anymore.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I know I complained about daycare & DS before but omgosh
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Since we are in the woods those options are limited. I would love to find a in home daycare but those are limited, very limited.
I also am not sure it is the daycare but maybe him. I wish he would just talk, he is 26-27 months.
I really am at my wits end. The kids also taught him how to spit. I am less than thrilled with that.
I just want my semi happy toddler back. He has always been a very difficult child, but he was at least some what happy with his nanny.
It's time to find new DC.
LO was in a DC for a week and didn't like it, also I didn't care for the lady, felt like she did a little bit of a change from interview to when we actually went there... I didn't hesitate for a second to switch. Best decision I could've made.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Do you think there may just be something wrong with him/something he is going through that daycare may have "off set", but not necessarily caused by daycare itself?
ETA: Does he act out in DC in the same way? Or just with you? How do you react to the screaming?
Unfortunately, we had to let the nanny go for financial reasons. So we cannot bring her back or get another one. Daycare is about a quarter the cost of a nanny here.
I would do anything to have the nanny back at this point.
I know there has been a kid that picks on him. But we chalked that up to being the norm in the 2 year old class. DS has no real experience with other kids. When we went on play dates and stuff prior to daycare he had no interest in other kids. He is definitely getting a crash course in hanging out with 6 or 7 other 2 year olds.
They have told us he cries. Most of the time when we get there to pick him up he is crying or has been recently crying. The first few weeks he cried a lot but he also has been sick the entire time. He has an ear infection for the 2nd time in 3 weeks and if he doesn't respond to the new antibiotic he is going to get a antibiotic shot its so bad. When he is sick he is ultra nasty/clingy/whiney. He has always been very demanding (high maintenance) and wants what he wants and if he doesn't get what he wants he will make you pay one way or another.
Our reaction to the screaming varies. I know at this point with little to no sleep in 3 weeks my fuse is short, but hubs has been taking on more of the work with DS because I am about ready to check myself into the psyche ward. But in general when he grabs onto his clothes because he doesn't want to get dressed to go to daycare I tell him he is going and will have fun, etc and rip the clothes from his little hand and change him anyways. I don't yell or get visibly upset the majority of the time. I really try to be positive with him about it.
DS and I have always been what we call connected on a nonverbal level. If I am upset he is usually upset and seems to feed off of me and how I feel. But I am trying to be positive about all of this even though I harbor a lot of guilt about this whole situation and the fact that I really am not fond of the daycare facilities here and not happy with the fact that he isn't adjusting at all. He is in a room there with no windows to outside (it has windows to the hallways for people to look through. All the daycare's here seem to be set up like this. I think they do it for germ control and separation of the ages) and the room is rather small in my opinion. But I am still overall trying to be positive about it all but it is just getting to be really, really hard because he is SO unhappy about all of this.
ETA: I also have a very high stress job that is very demanding but I do work at home with hubs.
On one side - I'd look for a different day care. It sounds like it can't get much worse for you. My kid cries when I drop him off but it's just the initial separation. I need to do the drop and run. Otherwise he's happy in his place. I find it kinda weird about the lack of windows though.
On the other side - there was one little girl who started day care with my DS about 2 months ago. The poor little thing was always crying when I saw her. There just seemed to be something wrong all the time whether she wanted snack, or had just finished snack, or tripped while walking, just anything seemed like it set her off. And this was just me as a parent picking up my kid observing this. Just last week I noticed this little girl was all smiles and happy and playing. I definitely mentioned it to the teacher and how it was great to see her happy (because I'd never seen her happy at all before). They just said it took a while for her to adjust.
I don't know your background, just thought I'd give you my experience.
First, despite what pps have said, I would get the ear infection thing under control before you start looking for a new daycare (unless you are really getting a bad vibe from yours). Most LOs are not themselves when they are sick and from what you said, yours is unusually grouchy/touchy when he is sick. Switching to a new one now may make the problem worse. Also, if you aren't already, start him on probiotics (the drops are more cost efficient in the long run, ask the pharmacist for them) every day. After two rounds of antibiotics it's fairly likely that he is going to start getting diarrhea too (jsut what you need I am sure).
Second, drop the mommy guilt. I get it, I really do. I have worked full time since my maternity leave ended. Some days, it sucks. A lot. But, you are doing what you are doing to support your family and give your child a better life. You have NOTHING to feel bad about. Whether you realize it or not, he senses the guilt and is manipulating you because of it. It is completely natural, all toddlers are narcisists (sp?) but you need to give him as little ammunition as possible.
Third, talk to your DS. I know this sounds obvious but sometimes I think we get so overwhelmed that we forget that they really do understand us. Even if he isn't verbal at this point, you are. I know when DD went through a nightmarish clingy phase a few months ago (she flipped out if I left the room, DH could not put her to bed, feed her or give her a bath without her spazzing out completely) I was at the end of my rope. It was happening at drop off in the mornings too. A friend of mine suggested I talk to DD more about what was going on, ex "mommy is dropping you off at school now, I will be back to pick you up this afternoon after your lunch and your nap." Believe it or not, it helped, a lot. She may not be happy with what is happening but she trusts us enough to know we are telling her the truth (i.e. mommy/daddy will be back) and she chills out. If we are having a babysitter that night, I tell DD in the mornign and then remind her a few times thoughout the day. It took a week or so to make a difference but it did help.
Fourth, put him to bed earlier if you can. I know this is hard and you want to spend time with him but between the ear infection and the extra stimulation at daycare he is probably more exhausted than normal.
Finally, try and evaluate the daycare neutrally. Do the teachers seeming caring and engaged with the children? Do they seem to give each child personal attention? Do they seem concerned about how upset your DS is and try and comfort him? I know you said their has been some bullying, how have the teachers handled this? If the answer to those questions is yes, than it's probably NOT the daycare. Your DS just has to adjust unfortunately. Best of luck.