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What can he really do....or not do?
I'm six weeks today and have not yet told anyone that I am pregnant. My boyfriend of over a year just broke up with me Because he said he can't see a future with us and also there are "issues" with our religions. He is Muslim I am Christian. Anyways...he broke up with me and then moved out of the state, which I knew was happening due to a new job. Now I find myself pregnant and not sure what to do...I know that when I tell him he will say that he isn't ready for a baby and that it isn't what he wants right now in life. I want to keep the baby and will raise him/her on my own, however I do not want him to go back and forth and take the chance of him coming into this child's life and then leaving him/her....
Another thing that worries me a lot is the religion part. Everywhere I look and read on the Internet says the baby is suppose to follow the fathers religion, I have nothing against the Muslim beliefs however I don't know how comfortable I would be with raising my child Muslim if the father might not always be around? How do i go about my ex wanting the child to be raised muslim while i strongly desire for him/her to be christian? I'm just confused and do not know where to go or how to tell my ex that I am pregnant....
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Re: What can he really do....or not do?
I'm sorry you're going through this. You'll find that this board will offer lots of support as you go throughout your pregnancy. However, I urge you to consider the following:
A. Think closely about what YOU want before you talk to those that you'll want involved. You might need a day or a week or however long but you need to have time to contemplate your own feelings before they get mixed up with those of everyone around you. It seems as if you've made your decision but I say this because you will get lots of opinions that will urge you to either keep the baby or have an abortion. No matter how deadset you are on keeping this baby (which I was too) it can so overwhelming and its not going to be an easy task. I remember being surprised both pleasantly and unpleasantly at people's reactions. I was there and I recall having to take a time out and not speak to anyone until I made a decision on my own based upon what I felt I could live with and what I believed in.
B. Tell those close to you (your mom or someone in your family, best friend etc) and garner a support group that will stand by you throughout your pregnancy.
C. Speak with your ex. You need as much support surrounding you so that you can deal with the potential negative response from your ex. Be prepared for both a positive reaction and for the worst as well.
I'd suggest you honestly be more concerned about you, baby, how you might be raising him/her on your own in case ex doesn't want to be in the picture (then you'll also have to think about child support etc) before worrying about your ex's muslim beliefs. Those are certainly important but you will have lots to deal with before you even broach religion. First and foremost you want to let him know that there is a baby involved, get his reaction and it might take a bit before you even know whether he plans to be involved in the baby's life enough to worry about religion. If all goes better than you think and he says he wants to be an active part of the baby's life then you should worry about religion.