Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Nervous and in need of encouragement
There is no reason you have to deliver by 40 or even 41 weeks. 42 weeks is within normal pregnancy time frames.
Also you could easily go into labor tonight, dilation is no indication of labor starting, you can be 4 and not go into labor for weeks or 0 and deliver within 24 hrs.
It doesn't sound like your OB is very VBAC friendly be wary of him pushing you into what could be an unnecessary RCS.
i'm typing one handed with my vbac baby....
i didn't dilate or go into labor early enough for mypro vbac ob office. plus i was to have a large baby...they estimated 3 weeks before due-date that he would be, at time of delivery, a 20-pounder. He was 8lb9oz, btw at birth...big by todays standards, but pretty run of the mill years ago.
i was against inductions...but decided to go with some more homeopathic means plus a scraping of the membranes (I found it not to be as bad as i hear women describe it). i took red raspberry leaf tea (i could only find it at whole foods) for roughly two weeks before giving birth. i had three appointments with an acupuncturist - something i normally would have scoffed at/not believed in, but i was desperate to avoid a repeat c-section. the acupuncturist crammed what normally would have been spread out over a number of weeks into a week and a couple of days. I also took clary-sage, recommended by my OB's med-wife (10-drops to the abdomen daily)..buy it where you find essential oils at a health food store. The stuff smells horrible. I only used it the day prior to the birth and was too scared to try again following the next days acupuncture appointment as my contractions were changing (not braxton hicks like, but didn't think it was "real" yet). I was also suggested Primrose and purchased it, but delivered the same day I purchased it..so I didn't get to try it. Sex is always touted...I wasn't in the mood much of the time, and if truth be told, I was waiting for it to be more convenient...putting it off while I tried to get things (like the house/nursery) ready. Semen, orgasm and cuddling all help in different ways to kick your body into gear...when we started up again, it only took a day.
My contractions never "normaled" but became harder and closer together (they were just different lengths) and I ended up dialating very quickly and was in progressive labor a little less than an hour. I did tear, as I opted not to have an episiotomy. I did have back labor and insisted (did not cooperate) on laboring and birthing in a position that was better for me. The baby was healthy.
I had prodromal labor with DS for almost 3 weeks, and had no real cervix dilation until 40 weeks. I was effacing quite a bit each week starting at 38 weeks, but I wasn't 1cm until closer to 40 weeks. I went into consistent labor at 41w1d, and delivered the next day at 41w2d. My birth story link is in the thread below.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Your cervix still has plenty of time to do what it needs to, especially since you are only 38.5 weeks. Try as best as you can to relax and let your body do the work of labor (trust me, I know that is much easier said than done). Remind yourself and your provider, if needed, that labor can start without any dilation progress. And there's no reason to "revisit or rethink" your birth plan when you haven't even hit 40 weeks yet.
Feel free to PM me if you need to or have any questions about my birth experience. This board is here to support you!
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story
I went into labor on my own on the last day of 41 weeks, had DD exactly 42 weeks.... you may want to talk about exactly how long they will allow you to wait it out. I asked and they wanted me to stay below 41 weeks this time, but the doc today told me I am a perfect candidate for a VBAC since I've already had one successfully.. he said we could 'give it a good college try'... whatever that means, but I think they'll entertain going into the 41st week for me if everything is looking ok.
The ONLY thing they did during labor for me that was relative to induction techniques was breaking my water..... no other drugs, etc...
I think I was 2.5 cm for WEEKS before labor started. It really means nothing.. the baby is ready when the baby is ready.