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I was doing good today...

cooperbooper21cooperbooper21
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I truly was! I went back into the real world, started socializing with colleagues without crying...I was improving...and then I get a text from my MIL. "Oh, Baby!! I am so so so sorry! You are healthy it just wasn't your time. Love you!!"

First of all...my DH and I kind of had an unspoken agreement we weren't informing everyone about the m/c...we didn't even tell anyone we were pregnant yet (I was only 6 wks and I had found out 1 week prior to m/c) this may be me just being overly sensitive but I was kind of irritated by both my DH and MIL. I really wish he would have told me he was going to tell his parents...because it ultimately means everyone in his entire family will now know. And to be honest-I am not prepared for all the phone calls and questioning that are bound to happen. I'm irritated with my MIL mainly because #1 who conveys a message like that through a text message?!? and #2 well that message is just not what I wanted to see and I am a big baby!

...Thanks for letting me rant... Crying

Married my best friend 8/05/11 BFP: 1/19/12 Natural M/C: 1/28/12 @ 6wks3d 3/12 Officially TTC
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Re: I was doing good today...

  • smcjmk09smcjmk09 member

    I would be annoyed also - hopefully you can chat with DH and let him know how you feel.  Also agree that text MSG isnt necessarily the most heartfelt way to express your condolences to someone you love.  I don't have any advice but really sorry you had a rough day. 

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  • ErikaCDErikaCD

     I'm so sorry.  It's totally ok for you to be irritated, we all need and want different things from people when we're going through this. 

    For me, I found that talking to friends and family about it was just too much for me for a while, so I had to ask my husband to field all the calls.  I was so thankful for that, even though I know it was really hard for him to deal with.  When it got to be too much for him, and I was feeling better, I had him pass the message on to family that I would accept calls.  It was complicated, but we just tried to let people know exactly what we could handle and what was too hard as far as communication, because otherwise, they just didn't know. 

    I keep being amazed at the ways my grief keeps catching me off guard.  Especially right at the beginning, I would be doing fine, then I'd get in my car to go somewhere and just being alone for a few minutes I'd BURST into tears.  Just for a few minutes.  Then, I'd be on my way like I wasn't a completely insane person. It still happens sometimes, but not nearly as often.  I'm just trying to let myself lose it when I need to and not be too hard on myself! 

     

     

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  • holly_g13holly_g13 member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope today is a better day for you. I'm sorry you MIL sent that type of message through a txt. It definitely would have been nice to know ahead of time the DH speard the word so you could at least be prepared the calls/txt would be coming in. I was more then happy my husband took over all the calls that came in and went out to family, but that was only after disgusing it before hand. But now that he has told family, just let him know that you are not ready to talk and that If he is going to tell people about the m/c he needs to include that in there as well. That way if they do txt or call and you ignore it, no one will be getting upset with anyone, and hopefully they will just wait to call/txt till you have had some more time to grieve. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and that you had such a surpised txt that changed your whole day. You are in my T&P {{HUGS}}

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