Uhhhh... — The Bump
Single Parents

Uhhhh...

I love how my son's father asks to see my son and then at the last minute decides he can't make it. Then tells me he's going to get him at a later date and time. Which is fine but then decides he cant get him at the time he originally  said and then gets pissed when I tell him that I have something to do at his "new" time. He tells me that its bullshit that everything has to be my way. Seriously!!! Yes everything has to be my way because you dont do *** for your son but expect to see him all the time. Uhh he pisses me off!! Sorry just had to vent
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Re: Uhhhh...

  • If I remember correctly you have a CO, right? Follow the CO to the letter, end of story. Anytime you agree to a time outside of the CO you're just setting a precedent and inviting unnecessary drama into your life. If you remain firm with the CO your ex will get the picture that he can't manipulate you or the situation.
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  • His excuse for not following the CO is that he got a new job then the one he had at the time we agreed to the CO and he doesnt have the same days off anymore. I dont want o go back to court because Im afraid they will let him have him overnight when I know he couldnt take care of him. Or give him more time when he doesnt even take time with him now.
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  • As much as you don't want to go back to court, I'd say it's your best bet.  You can always agree to new days and times but unless there's a court order you don't have much to stand on.  You can always tell him that you're following the court order and if he needs it changed then he has to take you back to court.
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  • Document every call and missed visitation that is not following the CO on a calendar.  NO EMOTION just "Ex called 20 mins before pickup and said couldn't make it, tried to negociate new time but couldn't agree."
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  • image Marksmommy321:
    His excuse for not following the CO is that he got a new job then the one he had at the time we agreed to the CO and he doesnt have the same days off anymore. I dont want o go back to court because Im afraid they will let him have him overnight when I know he couldnt take care of him. Or give him more time when he doesnt even take time with him now.

    his new job isn't your problem. you all have a court order. when he got his new job, he knew what hours he was supposed to get his kid. i understand you're trying to "play nice" but when you do, things like this happen. If you don't want to go back to court, you can see if he'll give you some new set days & then maybe you all can just get a judge to approve the change without having to go in for a modification hearing.

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  • Follow your current CO and tell your X that it's his responsibility to tell the courts he wants it modified to accomodate his new job. Until then, do not agree to other arrangements. You're setting yourself up for failure, drama, and setting a precedent.

    A court isn't going to grant him more time if he's not utilizing his current parenting time to the fullest. Don't stress over that part.

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  • It's true I am trying to"play nice" for my sons sake. He won't be civil with me in any way shape or form for me to even try to talk to him about setting up a new schedule. I dont even know where he works or even lives. He won't tell me anything. He was supposed to get him today at 1 said he couldnt get him til friday or saturday. i told him friday was best because my son has a birthday party on saturday (its not his day to have him) so he tells me here we go again with everything being my way and that he will take care of it. I'm not sure how to take that last part.
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  • I have a binder with days he missed and i write down EVERY text message he sends me
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