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Your parents roles
I know there's been a few posts about how you and DH split chores/child care, so i was curious as to how your parents split it and if you're following the "pattern".
*It's on my mind b/c my dad worked a ton of hours when we were little- never really did anything around the house or with us. He's watching all 3 of my kids in a few minutes and I think they're going to eat him alive. When I try to joke about it he's like "oh pleeeease, I had 4 kids, remember?" ... yeah you had 4... in 11 years, this is 3 in 2 1/2 years and I don't think I ever even saw you change a diaper dad, haha.
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Re: Your parents roles
My dad worked nights, so he was home while we were getting ready for school, then would head to bed and was waking up when we got home. He did all the home improvement stuff...still doesn't clean! He grills, but doesn't cook otherwise. He was involved in our schooling, though. At all our events, coached our sports teams, etc.
My mom worked a 'non-traditional' job - she started cleaning houses as a teenager to help her family, and saw the flexibility in it and just never stopped. She took us to school, cleaned her houses, and picked us up, every day. She was our classroom room mom, went on our field trips, etc. She does all the cleaning and all the cooking.
My parents worked full time and shared the responsibilities concerning raising us. My father played with us every night after dinner while my poor mom cleaned up after dinner. And Saturday's, while my mom worked in a family business, my dad "watched" us. It was easier for him to take us places instead of leaving us at home so we went to every museum, every historical site, etc. he could think of and then took us to lunch at my grandmother's restaurant to see my mom. He changed diapers but I'm certain that my mom changed far more and did more of the tedious things day to day.
Funny, my parents are taking C & E tomorrow because daycare doesn't have room for them (errr) and my mom has an appointment so the kids will be with my dad for an hour and a half. He's in for it totally and I'll be a nervous wreck. He one time called me in a total panic because he didn't know what to feed my nieces who at the time were like 10 and 12 and could feed themselves. He seriously couldn't even order them a pizza.
Mom worked 11 pm-7am as a nurse's aide. Dad worked all kinds of crazy hours as a manager of Jamesway and then CT Farm and Family. Mom did most of the work, but dad stepped in when possible.
DH and I do not follow a similar pattern. He is able to participate more in DS' life, because he has far less hours than my father did(If dh stayed in the golf industry, it would be very similar).
we probably are. My mom was a working mom who worked long hours. My dad was a machinist then unemployed when the steel mills closed then went to community college then became a mailman. His hours were closer to 9-5 than my moms. So he did a lot of the cooking. when we were really little my mom was a waitress and worked weekends so my dad had to take care of us. He could french braid our hair. Me and my sister still remember he was so gentle when he brushed our hair compared to our mom.
I guess we are folowing the same pattern. That is probably why I married someone very similar to my dad. I would never be able to be married to someone who expected me to do everything I am just not that domesticated
My dad did pretty much everything that got done, he also worked two full time jobs. My mom worked full time, but spent all of her home time reading romance novels. My mom never cooked, if there was a meal served (rare) my dad cooked it. My dad got us ready for school. Before I was in school, I spent the day either at my grandparent;s house or at his barber shop. When we were little little, it was my dad who got up with us (me anyway) at night and took care of us when we were sick. My mom did do laundry, grocery shop, and pay the bills, but that is about it.
DH's family was completely different from mine. His Dad worked full time plus was in the reserves at Hancock. That is all he did for the family was work, he bragged that they had 4 kids and he never changed one single diaper. DH's mom stayed home and did everything, plus she watched most of the neighborhood kids. DH's father took care of all the finances.
We are somewhere in the middle. DH does a fair amount of the housework, but never cooks.
My mom stayed at home until I was in 7th grade and then went back to work. My dad worked on the assembly line at GM so he went in early and got home early. My mom did most of the housework and cleaning. Dad did the yard work and grilling. He was very involved in our lives. He use to come home and play outside with us or video games when we were older. He is the one that taught us to swim, coached our softball team for 10 years.
We tend to split thing around the house. I do the laundry and he helps with the cleaning. DH likes to cook so he cooks on the weekends. He always helps with Abby
Both of my parents worked full time, but my dad worked ALL THE TIME. So everything growing up was 100% my mom. Poor lady!
DH and I split things evenly thank goodness.
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DH and I grew up the same- basically raised by our moms.
My Dad worked long hours as a boilermaker, travelling for jobs or working 20hrs straight. My mom was amazingly domestic; room mother, sewed costumes for our dance classes, made us our holiday outfits, tried to cook good meals. My dad got badly hurt when I was in 6th grade and my mom went to work at a nursing home FT as an activities aide. Once their roles got reversed our family fell apart and they got divorced.
We definitely follow our parents' roles, as much as my DH gets flamed (lol) it really is how I always imagined and wanted my life to be
My mom stayed home until I was in Kindergarten, then went back to work part-time in the evenings. Eventually it became full-time during the day. My mom did all the cooking (she'd get dinner made before she went to work) until I was OK'd to make dinner, probably age 10. My dad would cook, but only basic meals like hotdogs. Cleaning we did as a family on Friday nights. When my dad retired and my mom was still working, my dad would clean the house for her during the winter months until he could get back outside to his gardening, lawncare, etc.
As far as parenting - my dad was always involved with us, though I don't think he ever changed a diaper (never did with any of his grandchildren, either, but he'd play with them, read to them, take them errands with him, etc.).
DH has always been much more hands-on with everything.
My mom worked FT until my little sister was born, so I was 3. After that she stayed home with us until I was 11. My dad worked FT. I can't think of a time when my dad ever went grocery shopping, unless it was just to grab a gallon of milk. My mom did way more of the house stuff - cooking and cleaning, buying our clothes, getting involved at our school. My dad would take my sister and I for outings on Saturdays so my mom could clean up the house and get some quiet time to herself, so we would go to my grandma's or walk around a park or nature preserve or go to the zoo. My dad also used to play with us in the evenings when he came home from work, I remember us wrestling a lot (although generally one or both of us ended up in tears each time, which is kind of a running joke now).
DH is actually way more domestic than my dad. He works a 4 day rotating shift, so on days when he is home, he will clean up and do laundry, or whatever around the house. He cooks dinner often, especially because he needs to make dinner for himself when he works nights if he wants to eat before he leaves for work at 5pm. We'll see how things change after LO #2 comes along, since I am planning to go down to PT at work and DH won't have the time home alone like he has had in the past.
Sort of! My mom was a SAHM as was I, but I'm definitely more domestic then she is/was. I love to make big fancy dinners and she hated cooking. I also am pretty crafty - I love to crochet, sew, etc. My mom wasn't like that at all - she'd rather buy it. I love to garden and buy fresh organic things, and my mom would rather buy it pre-made.
In terms of my DH and dad, it's pretty similar. DH works all day and comes home around 4 in the winter and 5-6 in the summer (busy season). My dad worked a LOT when we were kids, and he still does now, but somehow he managed to play with my brother and I after work (I remember after he worked a full day he'd come home and play with us in the pool over the summer, etc. Poor guy, lol he was and is a great dad!!!). He also went to a lot of my horse shows and did a lot of things with my brother too. My H loves spending time with the girls, but it's hard to compare right now since the girls are still babies and obviously don't do activities or REALLY play yet!!!!
After 2 years, Injects, PCOS diagnosis and 2 IUI's, we were blessed with our beautiful twin girls!
Baby Girl #3!
My mom was a SAHM up until me and my brother both moved out! She actually wanted to go back to work, but she has a degenerative disc disease, and has had multiple surgeries. So she couldn't work for a long time. (she now works as an office manager FT)
Mom always did all the cooking, most of the cleaning. But my dad always helped clean up dinner, helped with homework etc. Also when we were really young my mom was a waitress in the evenings/weekends, so he had lots of experience changing diapers, making dinner, giving us baths etc. I remember lots of nights of boiled hot dogs and mac & cheese for dinner!