Sleep Training Questions
jackiemf
member
I am very reluctant to start Sleep Training this week but I feel like I have tried everything else and we are desperate to get LO some sleep and I could use some as well. We also talked to our pedi who advised us to start. A couple questions, however.
How could you tell your little one was "ready" for sleep training?
Would you start if your little one had a mild cold?
Do you let your little one sleep with anything?
Do you feed when they awake at night or wake them to feed?
Have you not done check-ins? I am considering this option because LO seems to freak out more when I go in to console him.
I also would appreciate hearing about your experience and any suggestions that you might have. I never thought I would be in the CIO camp, but now I totally get it.
Thanks so much.
Re: Sleep Training Questions
I am very reluctant to start Sleep Training this week but I feel like I have tried everything else and we are desperate to get LO some sleep and I could use some as well. We also talked to our pedi who advised us to start. A couple questions, however.
How could you tell your little one was "ready" for sleep training?
My LO "usually" only eats 1-2 times per night. Other than that, she was just waking to wake and couldn't soothe herself back to sleep. She is 5 months and 15 lbs which is what the sleep easy book recommends for sleep training.
Would you start if your little one had a mild cold?
I waited until LO was over her cold. It could interfere with the training.
Do you let your little one sleep with anything?
I let her fisher price seahorse in there with her because sometimes she will stare at it until it falls asleep, other than that, no. I was letting her have her binky but after replacing it 16 times last night, she isn't getting that anymore either.
Do you feed when they awake at night or wake them to feed?
I don't wake her because she is the type that she will entirely wake up. she doesn't dreamfeed. I feed her when she's hungry which is sometimes hard to tell so I wait a few minutes and listen to her cry. If she gets more insistent, she's usually hungry. Sometimes though, i'll make a bottle and she'll drink a couple sucks and not want anymore. My LO has no eating schedule. She's very hard to know when she wants to eat so if you're lo has a general time he/she wakes up, it will be easier for you to know if she's hungry.
Have you not done check-ins? I am considering this option because LO seems to freak out more when I go in to console him.
I do. I go by the "sleep easy solution" book. You do check-ins at 5, 10 and then every 15 minutes. You don't touch LO. Just go into the room and speak, low and lovingly, that it's time for sleep, you love them and you're there. Just so they know you are there and don't feel abandoned. It doesn't settle my LO but it makes me feel better knowing she knows I'm there.
I also would appreciate hearing about your experience and any suggestions that you might have. I never thought I would be in the CIO camp, but now I totally get it.
If you're LO is swaddled or with a binky, ditch it all the same day you start sleep training. I tried to let LO continue to have her binky and as I said, i replaced it 16 times last night. Sleepeasy tells you to do that but I felt bad for doing it. Tonight, she didn't get her binky. She cried for a little while but has been sleeping for nearly 4 hours and hasn't cried out yet.
I have also read the baby whisperer, Ferber and Sleep Easy. By far, sleep easy seems to be the most gentle and effective method. I tried the Baby Whisperer techniques before and they did absolutely nothing. I'm on night 3 of sleep training using sleep easy and although I kind of messed it up myself by still giving her her paci for the first 2 nights, she is doing much much better already. She will be 5 months on the 3rd and she wasn't sleeping for more than 15 minutes at a time, whether it was naps or night. Clearly I needed to do something and sleep easy seems to be working.
Thanks so much.
we tried the first time w/ my son when he was 6 months old. he was waking every 2-3hrs all night still and we had been co-sleeping to try and get some sleep. he cried forever, i know it was at least 2hrs, maybe close to 3. I was flipping through the book like a madwoman trying to find out what to do b/c i did not expect it to take that long!! I felt so horrible that he was so upset, i caved and went to get him. it was way past my comfort level for that age. I knew he wasn't ready yet.
we tried again at 10 months (he had a crazy stretch of sickness/teething and then we went on vacation to CA so we waited for all that to settle down before trying again) and it worked awesome! first night was about 45min (much more manageable) 2nd night about 30 min and then ten minutes by night 3. when we did it this time we did not do check ins but there is no way i would skip them w/ a 4 month old.
on the eating thing: I would give at least one overnight feeding still. you can try to shorten the ounces/time nursing gradually til he's weaned down to no night feeding. good luck!!
My pediatrician had suggested sleeping training at two months. My daughter slept through the night from about 10:30 to 6, maybe getting up around 4am and going back to bed. It sounds crazy but I spent a few nights letting her sleep on me and that broke the 4am feeding habit. My daughter is 3.5 months old now and today is day 5 of sleep training. I read the Ferber book. I knew it was time to sleep train because she had too many over tired meltdowns and was falling asleep at 9:15pm and then would wake up at 10 to eat again.
I doubted myself for so many reasons and thought about not doing it. My main complaint with my daughter was not how long she was sleeping but the fact that she wouldnt go to sleep at a reasonable hour and would smile at me at 2am if she couldn't get herself to sleep. So I saw sleep training as a way of breaking my daughters will which is a grim view. Now five days later....she sleeps from 9pm to 8am with three solid naps. She is happier (no melt downs) and I am happier. I have some structure to my day and I can do what I need to while she can get the rest that she needs.
The first night was hard for me. To hear your child cry isn't pleasant but you know that when you put them in the crib they are fed, clean and drowsy anyway. I was following the 5, 10, 15 minute waiting period and then realized while I was going in there that it made her worse. So the first night i went in 6 times for a minute and after that she was at a whimper and I left her alone and she was fine.
Ditch the pacifier and swaddling now because to break them of that habit is like reliving the first nights all over again. It isn't worth the tears.
Dont doubt yourself or your child. The idea of sleep training sounds worse than the actual process and when the time comes you will know what your child needs if it is a real cry or an unhappy cry.
I am not sure what your evening routine is but this is what we did and it worked great (without resorting to CIO). We basically only set a routine for going to sleep at night. We would take him into our bedroom and give him his last bottle before bedtime. No lights, no TV, no playing and no talking at all. It is all business at night time. Also, no diaper changes during the night unless it is absolutely necessary. Dr. Sears book recommends using words as sleep cues like "nitey night" or "sleepy baby", etc. which I would whisper to him. I would then pat his back to burp him and keep patting and rocking him for a few minutes longer then put him down to sleep. He has gone to sleep very well ever since and in the 5 or so weeks he rarely wakes up during the night. Also, we make sure that he gets all of his feedings during the day so that he is not hungry at night. Given our schedule sometimes his feedings get a little clustered in the evening (ex. one at 8:30 PM and another at 10 PM) which I think only helps him sleep better.
I know LOs a little young (3.5 months) but I'm on day 5 of Ferber and it's getting much better.
DD was actually really good about sleeping through the night most nights, but it was a bear to get her to bed at first. It could take up to two hours, and then the 45 minute intruder would hit and it'd be another hour or so. It was exhausting for everyone, especially working full time. Sometimes though DD would fall asleep by herself with no problem! So, I figured she could do it, she just wasn't consistent, and we all needed to cut down the nighttime rocking routine!
DD doesn't sleep with anything now. I ditched the pacifier when we started Ferber and she's doing fine without it now.
DD stopped getting up to eat at night a while back, but if she wakes early in the am I do feed her and then just put her back in bed awake. I figure just go with your gut on this. If it makes sense that LO is hungry: feed. But I always make a point of putting her back down awake and let her fall asleep on her own.
I go by Ferber's times. If it's time to check on DD and she is getting more calm and not really crying, just fussing, I don't go in, but if the crying picks up again, I will.
It's been really rough hearing DD cry, but once she's asleep I remember that's why it's worth it, because she can now put herself to sleep. This past night was great. No crying at the first fall asleep; 3 minutes of crying after the 45 minute intruder; and no crying after an early morning wake and feed and back to sleep. The first few nights I didn't think it'd get better (but it really was getting slowly better: 30-40 mins of crying the first night, 15 the second, 10 the 3rd, and now much better). And now DD actually takes naps at daycare - yay!
We knew she was "ready" when our sleep routine wasn't working and she was always breaking out of swaddle and just needing more uniterrupted sleep. We also knew she had some self-soothing ability as some of her naps had started to lengthen and some of her night sleep too.
Cold - no I wouldn't start with a cold because I'd second guess letting her fuss if I thought it was discomfort from the cold.
Sleep with anything - yes we introduced a lovey and she "loves" it and clutches it at night.
Feed - we feed when awake at night, no dream feeds or other
Check ins - yes we did them more for our comfort in knowing she was OK -- it didn't appear to rile her up more. We followed Ferber's intervals starting with 3 min and working up to 17 min on night #3. She never cried more than 30 min so we didn't have to go up too long thankfully.
Suggestions - have some support lined up (folks you can call). Even though the total time wasn't long with our LO I found it VERY hard and called my mom each night for support. I wasn't able to try and distract myself but it was important that DH and I waited it out together -- he also did most of the check ins so that there was no confusion with nursing, etc.