how to discuss BF with older siblings? — The Bump
Breastfeeding

how to discuss BF with older siblings?

Hey everyone, I know I'm jumping the gun a little on this since I'm very early in this pregnancy but I plan on EBF this baby. with DS I EBF/Pumped.  DH has a (now) 5.5 year old daughter that we have every other weekend. 

 When DS was little I either brought him in another room to feed him or pumped and gave him a bottle.  There's no way I'm going to be able to do that this time, DS isn't going to let me just walk away to feed the baby and my pump tanked on me so I'm just going to skip it this time around. 

Step daughter is VERY curious (as are all kids I guess) but she strictly thinks babies eat from bottles (since I fed DS from a bottle around her and her mom exclusively formula fed her sister) she will be 6 by the time baby comes but I guess I just don't know how I should approach this with her. not to mention the fact that I'm sure she's going to go home to her mom and say something that the mom thinks is innapropriate about me feeding the baby by lifting my shirt

any thoughts or opinions? how do you all explain BF to kids who aren't exposed to it?

                       
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Re: how to discuss BF with older siblings?

  • My DD will be 3 1/2 when baby comes.  Since there is quite a difference in age with my DD and your step daughter, I'm not sure how helpful this is.  DD has also only ever seen me feed DS from a bottle.  I plan to breastfeed this baby.  I told her that some babies eat from bottles and some babies eat from boobies (what she knows breasts to be called).  I told her when a mommy has a baby, boobies make milk that some babies eat.  I know for sure DD does not totally grasp this, as she has said some pretty hilarious things to me like my breasts have juice in them for baby or that we will put my breasts on a plate for baby.  Lol.  We just talk about it a lot, trying to prepare her as best we can. 
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  • First if you have a decent relationship with BM then let her know that you plan on breastfeeding.  Then sit down with your SD and explain to her that the baby will be getting his food in a special way from you.  I happened to find a book about being a big sister that showed the mom breastfeeding and that is how we started talking about it with my SD.  We talked about it a lot in the beginning with SD about how it is natural for moms to feed their babies this way and that some moms use their breasts and some moms use a bottle.  You know your SD and at what level she would understand, just be open to answering any questions she will have at any time.  My DS is 7 months and we are still answering questions from SD from time to time. 
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  • image melpatbat:

    What about going to a farm to see piglets and calves nursing to bring up the topc gently?

    I've also read this book and really like it.  It shows mother animals and humans nursing and is really sweet.

    I was also going to suggest that book!

    I think the biggest thing is to just not make a big deal out of it. Breastfeeding is pretty boring to kids, really. Be matter of fact, answer questions honestly, and don't feel like you need to hide your boobs. They're just boobs. I might feel differently around a 12 year old boy, but not around a 5 or 6 year old

  • one thing to remember - these topics are usually only awkward for adults, not kids. She probably won't have any issue with it. 
  • image tokenhoser:
    image melpatbat:

    What about going to a farm to see piglets and calves nursing to bring up the topc gently?

    I've also read this book and really like it.  It shows mother animals and humans nursing and is really sweet.

    I was also going to suggest that book!

    I think the biggest thing is to just not make a big deal out of it. Breastfeeding is pretty boring to kids, really. Be matter of fact, answer questions honestly, and don't feel like you need to hide your boobs. They're just boobs. I might feel differently around a 12 year old boy, but not around a 5 or 6 year old


    This. It's not a big deal IMO. Just tell her straight up.
    image
    evelyn 4.2010 | will 1.2012 | baby BOY due 12.2014
    pregnant and/or breastfeeding since 2009.

  • image hewinked:
    .... or that we will put my breasts on a plate for baby

     omg that is priceless! lol!! 

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  • image lincolngirl:
    one thing to remember - these topics are usually only awkward for adults, not kids. She probably won't have any issue with it. 

    Exactly. If you explain it in a matter of fact way and don't act like it is weird, they will probably be fine with it. 

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  • thanks everyone! I guess I should just relax about it. I'm honestly more concerned about her saying something innapropriate to her mom, who would have no problem trying to say something about "indecent exposure to a child" and removing all our visitation rights (yes, she is that crazy, thinks people who breastfeed are disgusting and babies belong miles away from boobs.. shes severely uneducated about a variety of topics)

    fwiw I don't plan on making a big show about it, but i know she will ask as it is going to be SO bizarre to her, I plan on being straightforward, but I wouldnt put it past her to sit there and watch me nurse the entire time trying to figure out where the bottle is hidden or something 

    guess I will pop this question over to the blended families board later down the line

                           
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  • My niece was 5.5 when my DD was born and she had never seen someone breastfeed.  She asked me what I was doing.  I used the same answer that a pp gave you "Some mommies feed babies with bottles, and some mommies feed their baby with their breasts.  For now this is how she eats."  Then she moved on to doing something else.

      The second time we saw them, she sat with me while I breastfed and stroked DD's hair and held her fingers and didn't act like there was anything strange about it at all.

    Also, I know that you are concerned about propriety, but there should be no way, legally, that her BM would be able to get your DH's parental rights or visits terminated over you breastfeeding your baby.

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