Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ctbride08
member
Re: Ten Things Tuesday
1. I'm getting some routine in my SAHM days, which is helping all around. L is going to do the bedtime routine, and I am using Pumpkin's visitation as job hunting time.
2. My heart's not really in the job hunt. L's either.
3. Told my fam that we'll add a second or two more this summer. They are beginning to think we have two heads.
4. My brother sat for an extended conversation about the court system, bio mom, rights, what would need to happen for us to take the girls.... and said NOT ONE WORD.
5. We're so opposite
6. I've been making my own iced green tea with a splash of POM. Drinking it by the gallon.
7. My ex-best friend had a baby. Named him our number #2 boy name. Decorated her nursery w/ elephants. (coincidence). Strange.
8. I'm *mostly* over her. I never had real dating heartbreaks, so this was the biggest one I ever had.
9. I want to take my parents to this cool ooold cocktail lounge to scope it out for gram's bd. I don't want to get a sitter. Can I just take Pumpkin? (WI is smoke free
10. I'll hire a sitter.
11. I'm on the hunt for one-handed healthy lunches and snacks. To eat with a baby on the other hip.
1. I'm letting my bro "borrow" my dog for a while and I cant decide if its awesome to have one less thing to worry about or if i really miss her.
2. I'm annoyed by how much Sprout has been having "indoor recess" this winter. Hello, its been a mild winter - get those kids outside! more annoying is that indoor recess consists of watching a movie. not cool.
3. I'm just not sure if I'm annoyed enough to speak with the pricipal about it. maybe.
4. Every morning I spend time doing my hair. product, blow dry, ect. and yet, by 9/10am i'm annoyed by it and throwing it into a ponytail anyway. why do i bother??
5. We got an email last week that basically said: "Dont expect a big bonus." lovely.
6. The Bachelor shocked me last night.
7. i'm not a fan of the "timeline" fb format at all - it makes it really hard to look at people's pages.
8. My goal for today is at least 60oz of water. that should keep me busy.
9. In more ways than one.
10. I want to take a day (or week) off and spend it cleaning my house. but then the mom guilt gets to me and i decide i should save my vacation time to spend with my kids...
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
1. Seriously. None of us can get up in the morning during the week (now on the weekend, the kids have no issue getting up at 6:15.) Even my earlier riser wife is still snoozing when my alarm goes off (which is an hour after hers goes off!)
2. Those peanut butter balls are addictive (and filling!) Now I am on a mission to find a good breakfast cookie recipe.
3. One of the external insurance case mangers I work with e-mailed me yesterday and said, "If I wasn't incredibly gay I would marry you!" (in response for information he'd been trying to obtain for weeks.) I wrote back "I am sure my wife wouldn't approve" which started a chain of funny e-mails. Still is cracking me up.
4. I love having a window in my office on bright sunny days!
5. I can't believe it is supposed to be in the 60s today and tomorrow and I am stuck inside all day. Work fail.
6. The boys have become so sassy, rude, and mouthy recently. I am kind of at a loss of what to do. Nothing seems to impact them (time out, loss of privileges, etc.) I am praying this is a stage where they are trying on new personality traits - and will find they do not serve them well.
7. I might have painted ourselves into a corner to vacation with my father this summer. I might be panicking a little.
8. CT - I agree re: recess. The other day I arrived at aftercare and rather than being outside in the 50 degree weather, they were all sitting in the cafeteria being read The Magic Treehouse books (non picture books) and Carter was sitting in timeout for being disruptive (most likely b/c he needed to MOVE!) Sigh.
9. I have a lot to do today and what am I doing? Not working.
10. We are having a Superbowl party on Sunday (just us and the kids.) I bet the kids watch for 10m and neither L or I watch football, so I bet it will be a short party.
But that just means a smaller bonus is still possible, right? I understand the disappointment but any bonus is awesome in my book! We haven't had raises in 3 years and the last "bonus" I received was a $25 grocery store gift card from my boss (which totally made my week - lol!).
1. Just spent way too much time reading about ways to off my rental property.
2. s/o rental property - I finally got a new renter! Yay!
3. I might have a side job soon that will give me a little extra cash to play with. While I will do the responsible thing and pay bills I've had this urge lately to buy lots of new makeup and brushes.
4. What's for lunch?
5. I'm taking a stress management class later today (as part of my employer's wellness initiative). Ironically I think spending time in the class will only stress me about the work I could be doing.
6. I say #5 as I'm typing on the bump - lol!
7. What's everyone doing for valentine's day? I need gift ideas.
8. I've been typing these out for probably and hour now. I'm going to just give up on 9 & 10 and post.
Since I missed the "What did you do this weekend?" thread, here are 10 things I did in NYC:
1. Ate lots of sushi
2. Met my brother's girlfriend (she's great)
3. Wandered around Eataly and admired but did not buy (except for some candy). Laughed at the "vegetable butcher" who will clean and cut up your veggie purchases.
4. Wandered around overpriced, fancy baby stores and admired but did not buy.
5. Got slightly lost walking around the Bronx drinking wine from plastic cups.
6. Had a fig and cheese empanada.
7. Caught up with some Wichita friends I rarely see.
8. Jumped up and down about the babies with said friends.
9. Walked through Central Park, down Broadway and through Times Square.
10. Happily said goodbye (for now) to the New Jersey turnpike.
1. I just made an appointment with a new RE for March 1. His office is 5 minutes from my house. He uses gender neutral language. ::hopes are up::
2. We're going to two foster info meetings (DCS and a support organization) in the month of Feb. ::these hopes are also up::
3. I've been doing WW for 1 month (today) and have lost 7.8 lbs! I'm thrilled. I haven't exercised at all and have eaten ice cream every day. I'm not sure that's really how you're supposed to do it, but I'm happy for now
4. I went to Sephora for the first time last week. Uh- thatshit is expensive! But I love my brush, lip gloss, and foundation. Like I've never loved make-up before.
5. My back and leg pain are MUCH improved. My teeth are no longer falling out of my face (that only happened once). I can only imagine these health problems played a part in TTTC last year. That's all behind us now.
6. Long live the pickle.
7. I have no idea how to baby-proof our house. We need at 10' baby gate! If we do that, the dogs won't have access to their food, water, and door to outside.
That's it for now!
well, of course. and i'm happy to have a job in this economy and all that. but in my job the bonus is a built-in part of my compensation package - so what it will probably end up being is that I make less this year than I did last. again, happy to have a job at all, but it stinks to be moving backwards.
and yay for finding a renter!
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Well that sucks. Built-in compensation isn't so much a bonus then. Bummer. :-(
1. We got back from Costa Rica late Saturday night. It was such an amazing trip. We relaxed and saw a ton of wildlife, and we would love to go back soon.
2. While we were gone, we got an offer on the house. We countered and they accepted. It happened so fast after all that worry about how long it would take to sell.
3. The offer is from our next door neighbors and friends. I wish they had told us sooner that they were seriously interested in buying, it would have cut down on some of the stress.
4. C leaves for Chicago today and starts her job tomorrow. I'm staying behind to tie up loose ends until this weekend.
5. I also have to do some serious job searching this week. Step 1: update resume.
6. Our stuff has already been moved, so all we have in the house is a bed we are leaving behind, and a TV we are leaving behind. We put a little "picnic" blanket in front of the TV for when we want to watch it.
7. Things are moving forward with our known donor - I'll make a post about it.
8. C started charting this month. So far the biggest challenge is taking her temp at the same time every day, because our lives have been so erratic. We still have to put it on an actual chart and see if we can see the shift.
9. I'll miss C the few days she's in Chicago without me, but I'm also looking forward to some alone time.
10. Now I just have to make that alone time productive AND relaxing...we'll see.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
1. I confronted J this morning about how bringing her work personality home is affecting our family, she is in denial and is being very defensive, not how I wanted the conversation to go.
2. Owl's TPR/reunification hearing is today, I hope the SW's keep me updated.
3. I took too long finding the perfect invite for A's birthday party so I had to send out evites... Bad mommy.
4. J found a 15 passenger van that we are very seriously considering purchasing.
5. I want to shave Iz's hair short, she has such a beautiful face that short hair would work well for her.
6. We need a West Coast LGBT Parenting meetup. Seriously.
7. I have been reading this book, Tish by Mary Roberts Rinehart, that I didn't expect to like but am really enjoying.
8. We are taking a weeklong vacation when A goes on spring break in March but we aren't sure where to go. J has been checking out the Grand Canyon, Lake Tahoe, and other places within driving distance, I wonder where we will end up.
9. My sister thinks her IUD failed and she might be pregnant, not a good thing.
10. I could go for one of those marathon, 8 hour, tattoo sessions I used to do. My back piece needs to get finished someday.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
1. Working from home today and finding it really hard to concentrate. The first few weeks of January were so hectic and I felt like I was behind all the time, but I got three big projects off my plate, so now I'm all caught up.
2. Now it feels slowwww.... lol.
3. Gwen's first dentist appointment was this morning. It went fine, and I like parts of the practice, but wasn't a fan of the hygienist. Even though I told her it was Gwen's first visit, she just kind of dove right in there with no preamble. Gwen was pissed!
4. The dentist was better, talking to Gwen more and asking if he could see her teeth. Consequently she did a lot better for him... though she still wasn't a huge fan.
5. She cried when I dropped her at daycare though. I think she thought we were going to have the whole day together.
6. I just had some friends cancel on Gwen's party... and I'm actually a little relieved. I didn't realize how many people were going to say yes! LOL.
7. Which reminds me, now that the party is 2.5 weeks away, maybe I should start figuring out all those pesky details... like what food to have, where to get the cake, etc.
8. I picked up a roast beef sandwich from Arby's on my way home... most of the time we don't do fast food, but man was that good.
9. Its supposed to be around 60* today... but I'm freezing right now!
10. Trying to figure out something good for Trav for Valentine's Day. I don't want to get him "stuff" but I don't know what to make for him instead. Hmmm.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
1. the kids have been sick since Thursday, mostly A. Now I think Q is getting sicker as A gets better. ughhh.
2. I brought lunch but bought an extra bag of chips. and two sodas.
3. My mom used a sample of some butt cream she found somewhere on my CDs yesterday. 4 of them. I was so mad.
4.I don't like my new boss that much. I think its because my old boss was so awesome.
5. We had to get a $300 replacement part for our 10 yr old furnace today. I am not a fan of this furnace/steam heat. Too complicated.
6. The woman who used to have my job was here for 35 yrs and though she left me instructions, there's always things I am behind on.
7. Sigh.
8. I spend too much time online.
9. I reenrolled in my dissertation program 2 weeks ago. Still haven't opened my proposal and my tuition is due now.
10. I wish I could work PT and still have full benes.
Parents Need to Eat Too: Nap-Friendly Recipes, One-Handed Meals, and Time-Saving Kitchen Tricks for New Parents
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Original Dawn dishsoap, a toothbrush, a sink full of scorching hot water, and lots of scrubbing (possibly multiple times) should get it out. I bought some CD's that had rash cream on them and this stripping method worked really well.
Soak the diapers in hot water with a squirt of Dawn for 30ish minutes, then scrub the entire layer of fleece (assuming you have pockets) inside and out. You can add a bit of Dawn to the areas where the diaper cream is obvious and scrub more, keep scrubbing/soaking until you get the cream completely out. Wash/rinse with no detergent until there is no soapy residue left in the water and you should be good to go.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
1. 2brides, I am right there with you hoping this is just a phase. The past month or so E has developed a bit of an attitude and I just want my sweet easygoing little girl back!!! Since our kids are a day or two apart this HAS to be a phase. Right???
2. This is my last official week in my current office.
3. I have so much to do related to #2, but yet here I am nesting!
4. My current team is having a gathering here at work followed by happy hour tomorrow. I am not good at this goodbye stuff, I am such a bawlbag.
5. My bff (who works across the hall from me) and I are trying not to talk about it too much. One or both of us ends up in tears.
6. I need to finish cleaning my house before Fri when my parents come but I don't know when/how I'll make the time to do it.
7. The sun is shining in my office this morning. My new office doesn't have a window, boo.
8. My sleep has been wonky and I wish it would stop. Stress I suppose but dang I could use a good night.
9. As much as I will miss this place and my friends, I am really looking forward to being so much closer to home.
10. My realtor is playing hardball with the other side who is trying to get me to pay a bunch of fees related to the short sale I'm trying to buy. I hope things keep moving forward, I really want this house.
1. So much exciting news and I am late to the game!! Yay for Mandy's RE and TMM's impending ttc #2 and hike's home sale and two's new rentor and everything else!!
2. DW peeked at the board yesterday and said 'someone posted a pb recipe and you didn't tell me??!!??'
3. I'm in a good mood, but I'm gonna make my own post about it.
4. I am interviewing for a position at work, and it is strange being on the other side of this equation. I am learning that assumptions based on resume are often wrong!
5. I could really go for any kind of bonus.
(I'm with Two on this being a foreign concept, but I know it's my field - I'm sure if you're expecting it it's upsetting to have it taken away.) We got tiny raises this year for the first time since 2008.
6. I saw a family therapy case the other day and I think I'm going to keep it even though I don't have to see clients right now.
7. I am also considering volunteering to run a group. Hm, maybe I shouldn't bite off more than I can chew.
8. I went out to lunch with coworkers. Gym time? I suck.
9. B convinced me we should do a Spar.k People 10 min a day bootcamp thing in the morning, but day 2 fell apart due to the RE visit.
10. We agreeed no Valentine's gifts. I feel kind of lame, but it's really not my favorite holiday and we spend too much money... Is that super lame?
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
1. The kiddos are nearly well (yippeeee!).
2. But I am (you guessed it) getting sick. Again (boooooo!)
3. This pp lack of bladder control is seriously driving me nuts. At least I finally gave in and bought Poise pads instead of kidding myself that period pads would do the trick.
4. Yeah, that was me and an 80-year-old woman in the Poise aisle, discussing the merits of "hourglass" vs "regular" pads (btw, the hourglass ones *suck*... not that I should even know that, sigh.)
5. I am so grateful for the medication and tools we have at our disposal to help the kiddos get better. And so grateful for health insurance!
6. Finances are tight right now and I really don't want them to be.
7. I had so much fun at the Baltimore GTG!
8. Part of the fun was watching the kiddos chow down on bowls of pasta bigger than their heads:
9. I think I just might ignore Thing #6 and plan to take the kiddos and S to Family Week. It'll all work out, right? I need a vacation!
10. I started to draft a different set of TTT and realized I was getting wordy, so I changed it to a blog post with Five Favorites from the week. So TTT's +5 is over on our blog. :-P
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
1. My godson left this afternoon. It's always too long between visits, and I miss him already. It doesn't help that he decided to move back to Brazil to be with his dad. His sister went three weeks ago (one of the highlights of our trip was that we got to hang out with her a couple of times). I'll miss the kids, but objectively, nothing will have changed since it's not like I saw them a lot when they were in VA.
2. Work is crazy. Crazy. Crazypants. Deluxe.
3. The house purchase is moving along... We should have a signed P&S tomorrow. As soon as it's a little more certain, I'll post photos.
4. K and I are in a good groove. It's nice.
5. J is changing so quickly! I swear he looked taller when I picked him up from his crib this morning.
6. We got our dog back on Sunday, and all J has done is follow her around the house saying, "Doggie! Doggie!"
7. I'm still coughing. This has got to stop.
8. It's my goddaughter's birthday. She's 21. How did that happen?????
9. I'm still 21. I mean...
10. So happy to hear everyone's good news! Yay!
No! We actually didn't even do Christmas gifts for a year or two because we were trying to be careful with money and had to spend a lot on gifts for extended family. (We brought back Christmas gifts this year because it did feel sad not to give each other something). But to me, Valentine's Day gifts are not necessary...I never turn down a gift, of course, but this is just not an important day for us. I may cook something a little nicer than usual the weekend before and call it our Valentine's Day dinner, since on actual Valentine's Day she's working and I have a hair appointment. But that's it.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
1. I have been making great progress on the nurseries--the cribs and dressers are both up and the bedding is on.
2. The hutches for the nurseries have not come in yet, and I hope they do soon because they're the big missing piece. I can't believe we ordered them almost 12 weeks ago and they're not here yet.
3. I'm still working on the mobile for her room, and the alphabet letters for his room. After them and the above two things it will be pretty much set!
4. My MIL is amazing, she has been over her a couple times per week for the last 2 weeks helping with house stuff (things have gotten quite behind with Mel being on bedrest the past 6 months). All the baby clothes have now been washed and are hanging or in the dressers.
5. Our baby shower was fun and we picked up alot of things in the past 2 weeks, so we have pretty much all the essentials.
6. Speaking of, we just got the extra car seat bases on amazon for $50 each, regularly $85 a piece--what a steal!
7. I think our dog thinks we are crazy. About a month ago our house had a completely different lay out and we didn't have all these baby things around. She sniffs them all over and looks at me like "WHAT are you doing!?"
8. I hope I get a new job soon, we really need the money and I want to get working!
9. I found out that I'm only allowed to take 6 weeks maternity leave with PTO, not anything paid by my work. Any additional time has to be a "personal leave" okay'd by my manager w/o pay or benefits. This is apparently b/c I'm not the one who's pregnant. I'm pretty shocked, I thought I would get the 6 wks with PTO and then 6 weeks paid at 60% like the bio-mom would have.
10. I can't wait until next Tuesday when we have our 32 week US. I'm excited to see them and 32 weeks seems so much further than 31 weeks. Ha ha.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
From what I understand (from my own experience), paid maternity leave is disability, so it's strictly because of delivery. 6 weeks for vaginal, 8 weeks for c-section. It sucks that there's no actual paid maternity leave beyond disability except for PTO. I mean, you GET to take 12 weeks, but good luck figuring out six weeks with no pay when you have a new baby...
What is it in Canada again? I know it's a decent amount of time there...
And where I work you only get that 60% pay if you elected for short term disability at least 1 year before needing the coverage (and you still had to take 3w of sick leave before it kicked in.) Companies that offer paid paternity leave (stupid name since it is leave for the other parent) are few and far between.
For some reason I would be sad to give up Christmas. I love Christmas. But Valentine's Day just feels kind of fake, I don't know. Glad to hear we're not alone though.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Compared to my work (and DW's work) your leave policies all sound pretty generous. At my work the only paid leave even for a mother giving birth is what you have accrued in sick time and vacation, and then for the 6 or 8 weeks (vag or c-sec) you're eligible for NY state disability which is $170/week. You can also pay in to optional short term disability insurance, but that is only for a disability (i.e. not bonding leave for a non-gestational parent.) If DW is at her job for 2 years before we have a child she'll be eligible for a short paid bonding leave, and will otherwise have to use accrued vacation and unpaid FMLA time.
There is a huge misconception in this country that maternity leave is standardized or widely available. And where it is offered, it is generally in the form of disability - which means that it is intended to be related to the birth-giving mother's physical recovery from a medical procedure rather than bonding or caring for an infant.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.