A confession and a question:
B had a public meltdown in Target:( I was kinda hoping she'd never do this b/c she's usually really good in the stores (high hopes I know). I sometimes take her there to run around. For some reason the kid LOVES Target. Anyway, she was fine until she saw those chocolate Dove roses they have every Valentines day. She flipped b/c she wanted one. I took her away from the area, said "no" and she just melted down. Hitting me, thrashing and screaming. She's NEVER done those things before. I sware, it looked like I was kidnapping the child.
Anyway, I took her several isles away and she started running back towards those dang roses. So I handed her one to quite her down. I immediately thought, oh that was a bad choice. I just rewarded that bad behavior. But with the screaming and side eyes I was getting, I just wanted to placate her so I could finish my shopping. But she's soooo hard to say no to, especially since she was using her signs and trying to say please. I know, bad bad bad.
How do you handle the meltdowns in public. Just let them pass, do you leave the store or is there something else? I don't want to be "that" lady with the screaming child every time B doesn't get her way or get something she wants.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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Re: tantrums in public
Evan has always been pretty good in stores, granted we never really forced him to sit in the cart or anything. I would shop while DH and Evan ran around. I put Leah in the cart and she screeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmssss bloody murder for stuff constantly. Like I NEED this! Throws it after 2 minutes. I NEEEED that!!! Repeat. I have started being pretty strict with her to try to "break" her of this *** - so it has been even worse. She is sooooo dramatic - like, throwing herself on the floor or leaning back in the cart. I just calmly tell her she will be ok and distract her as much as I can - but I try not to acknowledge the behavior. AND I don't look at other people so if they are looking at me - whatever
I give 2 calm warnings of what her consequence will be (usually leaving) and the third time follow through with the punishment. Its usually annoying/frustrating to leave, but I feel really strongly about following through with consequences and hope it pays off in the long run.
Yesterday we had to leave the mall before going to the play area because she threw a fit in the library and kept running away from me. She was really upset, but she was warned.
it depends- I usually try to give L something to hold onto or eat while I shop- to head off any issues or I will give him a "show" on my phone...
I also started explaining before we go into a store what were are doing there- if he can get something or not- and I keep talking about it while I shop like, "Ok we're grabbing milk, eggs, and swiffers...do you see the milk?" "do you want to hold the box of swiffers, etc?"
He has had his share of melts downs- if I'm almost done- I let him meltdown- I try to stay calm- tell him I understand he is upset but we're not doing what he hwants right now, and I'm sorry about it... if I just started- I usually try to get him calm or leave...
I do similar to what Abba does. I have her strapped in to the cart 100% of the time I take her to the stores. I almost always bring a snack for her to eat while I shop. The snack alone usually prevents most issues. And then whatever I am looking for I have her "help" me by telling her what we are looking for. She gets so excited when we find it, haha.
And if there is something that she wants, I will first try to distract her and move on. If she gets ahold of it - sometimes she swipes things if they are within arm reach, I let her hold on to it until the end and then we go put it back. Because it lives at the store. With all it's friends. And that is why we can't bring it home.
This is cracking me up this morning. I can see myself saying it and I am giggling just thinking about it.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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