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Inexperienced doula student - WWYD?
Hi ladies - so I was looking for student doulas after getting some suggestions on this board to look into it and I found one on doulamatch.net that I emailed. She emailed me back saying that she's only attended one birth and it was stillborn so although she'd love to attend my birth, she doesn't have any experience if that is what I needed. She also ends up living a bit farther than she indicated but said she'd come up in stay nearby around my due date (I am assuming she has family nearby). So I know all this sounds non-ideal but she's free because she wants the experience and doesn't feel comfortable charging given her lack of experience.
Ideally I was hoping to have someone experienced so I could call and say - should I go to the hospital now? what should I eat before I go? (I know I should know some of this but I was induced last time) and also getting actual labor suggestions for pain mgt.
Part of me figures - what do I have to lose? But I wonder if I am making this more okay in my head because it is free and if I'd be better off paying someone who has some experience. Sorry this is so long!
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Re: Inexperienced doula student - WWYD?
Could she find a more experience doula to be her back up? Not exactly an extra person in the room with you, but one she could call if she needs a little help and can give her some advice over the phone. That way you get the free support but also she isn't totally flying by the seat of her pants.
Every doula has to start somewhere, kwim?
If you want free, it'll pretty much always be a student or someone who just finished their training. I think it's customary for them to do 2 or 3 pro bono births before they start charging. I'm actually trying to find someone like this in my area, but no luck so far.
But from a doula, I personally just want an extra pair of massage hands and a liaison between hospital staff and me. My husband will provide most of the coaching that we've practiced.
I had a student doula- she had assisted with 10 births. I had an induction and then toughed it out without pain meds and I have to say- with those induction contractions- I have no flippin' idea what she really did other than massage my lower back. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything or even really make suggestions to her at all- but she had enough experience with those 10 births to be able to help me through it. I had a great experience overall. Part of that experience was meeting with her several times beforehand, attending classes the doula collective offered, and getting advice from certified doulas she worked with. If it had been a student doula with no backup, no other doula business partners to go to for advice, and she wasn't really in the area... I personally would say no knowing what I know now.
Oh, and I had to be induced early at 35 weeks. My doula lived 1.5 hours away- which I was fine with. But I only had a 6 hour labor, and I didn't want her to get in the car and drive until I was at a 3 or 4. She didn't arrive until I had already hit transition. If you go early or have a fast labor, she may not even be there. Just a couple things to think about.
Depends on what you want from her. If you want someone just to be there to encourage and support you, then as long as she's a sweet supportive person, the experience isn't a problem. If you want someone who can explain in depth whats going on and suggest things, the lack of experience might be an issue.
Personally, I'd only hire a doula if I was going to a hospital because I'd want someone to be my advocate against the nurses and doctor, so I'd want experience or a really strong personality. It's all dependent on what you need/want.
The bolded part caught my eye...a doula worth her salt should help the parents communicate with the medical team, not try to form a team against anyone. IMO a combative doula will do a mom no favors. There is one hospital in my area than has actually banned doulas because they were (allegedly) causing problems. (I find this outrageous and refuse to ever give this hospital my money, but there you have it.)
Also a doula should not give medical advice or speak on your behalf to a medical professional. They can help the parents talk through options and weigh medical info with goals, hopes, etc. and empower them to assert themselves.
That said, I agree with everything else you said. To me, the benefit of our doulas was their depth of knowledge with dealing with both the expected and unexpected parts of labor--everything from relieving DH for a few min, to making me an ice pack when the nurses were all busy (and that meant I could stay under their radar for longer--yay), to reminding us of tricks especially for back labor, to helping us think through the pros and cons of interventions when things got hairy. But, it comes down to balancing how much experience you want the person to have vs. cost. With DS, we chose a $$$ doula who had lots of experience. With this PG, we are paying 100% OOP for a CPM birth and will probably not hire a doula since we'll have the midwife and birth assistant and will be in a supportive enviornment and are already shelling out a lot of money.
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