- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
January 2011 Moms
sad.
So this is NOT a happy post but I really need some advice, or something.. anything!
A few months ago my best friend (of 15years) went in for her yearly woman check up. The doctor found a large cyst on her left ovary. The ovary was already so badly damaged from the cyst that the doctor decided to removed it. It contained no eggs. The doctor at that point told her she had a 3mm cyst on the other ovary but it seemed to be functioning normally.
She has no children and she has always wanted them. She is 29yrs old. She was told that it would drastically decrease her chances of conceiving but not impossible.
What I didn't know until yesterday is that the doctor had her come in for another appointment. She told her that her right ovary now has THREE cysts and it needs to be removed.
My friend is devestated. When I talked to her last night she was not herself. I could tell she was still reeling from the results she got last week. She has been distancing herself from me and my DD's and another one of our friends with small children. I am heartbroken for her. Her and I used to talk about the babies we would have, their names, wonder what their personalitys would be like.. I feel like there is NOTHING I can say. And truthfully there isn't. What do you say to a woman who can't have children when you have healthy ones yourself and have to try not to get pregnant?
I told her that I was here for her to lend a shoulder, to listen to her cry, to complain and vent about how truely unfair this all is. She told me I am not what she needs right now. And while my head understands, my heart is broken. I hope she can heal whether I am by her side or not.
And for what it's worth, she is getting a second opinion.
Thanks for listening.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: sad.
I feel so bad for your friend. I can't even imagine getting that kind of news. All you can do is be there for her. I would continue to let her know you are there. She might not bring it up even when she is ready to talk about it, so ask her if she needs to talk.
You are a good friend for understanding where she's coming from with thinking she doesn't need you right now. I hope she eventually is able to talk to you and be close with you again.
You are a good friend for wanting to help, but I don't think there is anything you can say. You can encourage her to get a second opinion, or maybe plan some alone time with her, w/o any LO's around. I was mad at the world at 28 and distanced myself too, as I was told my left ovary was not functioning, full of cysts, and needed to be removed too. I was even madder at my friends with children. I wouldnt go to baby showers, and was just generally ticked. Of course my story is not the same, but my point is that it took awhile for me to come around, but eventually I did.
I know you could say STFU Marsam, you did get pregnant a few years later, or whatever... but I just wanted you to know that it was never anything personal with my friends or family, I was just mad at the world. I felt jipped. Send her a card to just let her know you are thining of her, a text, a little care package of feel good things. It doesn't change anything, but it keeps in the back of her mind that you are there for her.
I would definitley hope that she is going for a second opinion- if you already said that, I missed it. Sorry for the rambling..I really do feel for your friend, that is devastating news.